015: "We are so much more than just military spouses. We are men and women with life goals." Thriving in the military lifestyle with Jen & Kirst

Jen Amos 0:00

There's no need to wait on your service member to share a second hand information anymore. Welcome to holding down the fort, a podcast show where we put military spouses and children's needs front and center so that they can make informed decisions together as a family. Because let's face it, we know who's really holding down the fort. Let's get started.

All right, hi, everyone, Jen Amos here, but for the show, I'm going to be going by Jennifer and you'll find out why with holding down the fort podcast. And I'm super excited because every time I do another show, it means that I get to interview other amazing people in the military community. And so for today, I'd like to introduce you to military spouses and co founders of wives of the Air Force blog, also known as West Gen and cursed so Gen curse, their overarching theme for wives of the Air Force is personal identity and community. They wanted to create a space where women and men could find up to date resources that are relevant and important. In doing so an incredible community has formed and empowers male CEOs to thrive in this lifestyle instead of letting the circumstances of military life defeat them. Jen and Kurt's intent is to encourage other wives of the Air Force in a way that opens doors for careers, education, family, healthy friendships and solid marriages, which they love seeing because they are so much more than a military spouse at the end of the day. They are men and women with life goals. Jen uncursed. Welcome to the show.

Unknown Speaker 1:45

Thank you. Hi, everybody.

Speaker 1 1:47

Thank you. We're so excited to be here.

Jen Amos 1:51

Yes. I'm excited to have you here as well. For people that are getting to know you for the first time. I know you have this amazing blog and community, which we'll get into in a little bit. Why don't you share who you are and how you two ended up meeting?

Unknown Speaker 2:04

Jen, I'll let you take the lead on this one.

Speaker 1 2:07

Okay, sweet. So, a little bit about us in how we met. I got into this lifestyle. Just being a military spouse in the Air Force wise, completely unexpectedly, I never expected to marry into the Air Force. My husband had asked me on a date three times, until I finally said yes. And yeah, got into this world while he was in pilot training. I was still trying to complete my undergrad at the University of Arkansas. So we did long distance dating for a little bit and then got married. Right before he came out here to McChord, Washington. For his first assignment, I moved out right after I graduated college. So we did our first month of marriage, completely separate. And came out here, didn't know what to do with my life. I came from a very big business world and out here, there is not a lot of business unless you want to drive two hours to get to Seattle. So I spent eight months unemployed, found a little part time, not part time, but just a job that was going to sit for now, after eight months. Did that for about a year and a half wasn't super stoked about it. left that job. And now I work on base for a flying Squadron and McChord Air Force Base, actually to work with my spouse. I'm really lucky, really blessed by that. But that's this assignment, kind of how person I met, which I don't want to jump. Again, just completely go over her story. So maybe I'll let Kirsten talk about her background up to this point. And then we can talk about how we met. So

Speaker 2 3:53

I also met my husband during pilot training and had never thought in a million years I would be a military spouse, but he writes it almost two years of marriage later and thriving. It was really great because we met through mutual friends, who were my good friends, Chris was awesome pilot training and his wife Catherine, who's one of my best friends from college, we got to spend a lot of time with them. So I had a really soft introduction into the military lifestyle, and how this really awesome other spouse that I was spending time with. So my introduction was almost through rose colored lenses. After that pilot training experience, we just made the decision that we were going to move to McCord together. We were still dating, we were not married. And that decision was simply be out of convenience. We weren't ever going to see each other. If I did make that commitment because I was currently living in Iowa, and I would have been approximately 31 hour drive or a four plus hour flight. So just wasn't feasible. I moved out to McCord as a girlfriend, we were there a little over a year before we got married and it In that time span is when I met Jim.

Speaker 1 5:03

So going into how we met, both of our guys actually went to college together, they both went to the Air Force Academy. And it was just kind of a sweetest way, especially looking back on it to meet super organic person's husband came into the squadron to save squadron out here about six months after my husband did. And her husband was the one that reached out and said, Hey, I'd love to get together. My girlfriend came out here with me. I know you're married. And we went and setting the beer garden at a baseball game. Didn't want the look of the game the entire time. It was fantastic person. How long after that? Did my husband deployed? Was it like two months later?

Speaker 2 5:50

Yeah, I remember coming to your house, the first house you guys lived in and actually helping you pack because you were moving from a kind of like a suburb area of Tacoma into more of a heart of Tacoma. So that was one of generalized probably first few times hanging out with me actually helped me her pack to move

Unknown Speaker 6:10

from a really good time, clearly.

Jen Amos 6:13

Definitely. So

Speaker 1 6:15

immediately after we had met, my husband deployed, and then her husband deployed back to back. So we did a lot of third wheeling for each other within about a six month span. And I think it was just that we were first assignment was together or significant others and just experiencing this whole new world at the same time, and it was, it was the best, I think it just made us grow together so quickly.

Unknown Speaker 6:43

Yeah, definitely.

Jen Amos 6:45

Yeah, I think first of all, John, I think it's so awesome that you work with your husband almost to be able to be on base and see him very well. Yeah, I think that is so unique, because I know plenty of stories of military spouses and their service members living completely separate lives. And then secondly, I think it's so beautiful that you two had met each other because like I said, there's there's plenty of stories where military spouses and their service members live separate lives and where many military spouses feel alone. And so in just hearing you talk just now you two just sounds so in sync with one another. And it sounds like you too, are very, very close and have created a really strong bond together. So I think that's super awesome. Oh, for sure.

Speaker 1 7:36

I will say in both of us could probably say this from our previous jobs versus our current job. My last job that I had, it was retail. So shout out to anybody who works retail, you are a saint, and you go through so much because I've been there. But in my year and a half working retail. I thought my husband, five weekends. And that was my job, not his job. I usually work 10 hour shifts. So I worked from 12 to 10. And we just like high fives. It was I mean, I had a bed, buddy. And that's about it. So I had to make that call of hey, I couldn't do that. Personally, I didn't want to be the one that I don't know. You know, I was making a lot of sacrifices already. I didn't need my job to get in the way of that. So I had to adjust.

Jen Amos 8:28

Yeah, definitely. Well, let's talk about where you two are today, what you're currently doing for work. And also we can transition into how you started the wives of the Air Force blog.

Speaker 2 8:39

Yeah, I know Jen kind of already talked about a little bit what she's done previously for work and currently for work. So I guess I can kind of catch everyone up to speed on that I actually have a degree in psychology. And I was working a really great gig in Iowa before I moved landed an awesome opportunity with the state of Washington, working in correctional facilities, when we like moved to McCord, and I was loving life and hitting our stride. And then we got our PCs orders. And we moved to Del Rio, Texas, which is Laughlin Air Force Base. And it's about five miles from Mexico right on the border and very, very remote. So immediately, of course, I started to hit the ground running and trying to find jobs in the same realm of what I've been doing and just started realizing that was not going to be feasible down here. So I kind of had to shift my mindset and swallow my pride a little bit. And try to find a career that would fit this lifestyle a little bit better. And also fulfill me in a way that made me proud and passionate and all the things that I really enjoyed about being a working spouse. And I kind of haphazardly landed the opportunity to do a 90 day virtual assistant internship program. And that just like shoved me right into the career that I'm in currently Ah, which is doing virtual assistant work for a psychological assessment company. So it just worked all out perfectly. In hindsight, you know, I can look back and see that in the moment, I was calling Jen crying, talking to all of our last community about the very real emotions that were going with trying to find a job in a remote location and struggling, it's not easy, even with some of the awesome resources we have. It's still not easy, and it's frustrating. So that's kind of where I'm at currently. And it's worked out really good because we just had our first child and this remote. I mean, I'm a big believer, and everything happens for a reason. You know, I was so stubborn and wanted to do what I've been doing in my entire career when we got to Del Rio. And now looking back, I'm so grateful that I, you know, God led me in a different direction, because now I'm doing something that makes it easier on our family, I get to spend quality time with my husband when he's home. And I also get to stay at home with our kid and still work to capacity that I'm really content with right now.

Jen Amos: 11:02

Hey, everyone, Jen emos, here, just taking a quick break from the interview to talk to you about our main sponsor for holding down the fort. Just this last September of 2019. US bet wealth, and my husband, Scott R. Tucker, has been featured on military families.com. I just want to read the first part of it to give you an idea of what we're about and what we represent. So this article is actually written about the founder, which is my husband, the founder of us bet wealth has an approach to veteran employment that looks like jeans and flip flops. Among a crowd of suits. Scott had found that is what allows veterans to embark on a successful path to civilian retirement. Retired Army Major Scott Tucker, also West Point grad, spent upwards of seven years after his military career, learning the finance industry, listening to veterans woes, and being told there's only one mold, one path for the veteran workforce. Through that he learned the one thing everyone was missing. There's another way, Scott gets quoted, if you have a mission to serve, whether that's individually or meaning a transitioning service member or spouse wants to go and create their own mission. That is what us that wealth is about is by helping our military families and service members live a life of intention. Through us vet wealth, Scott and his team, myself included mentor veterans, and military spouses who don't want to be a defense consultant, or play by a corporation's roles. US vet wealth is for people that want total control of what they do, and how they go on about it. If that sounds like you, check out us bet wealth.com To learn more about us. Alright, let's get back into the interview. That is so awesome. And my husband and I work closely with a company called vert force where they help active duty military spouses find remote work, and not just freelance work, but full on employment type work, that they can work remotely and everything. And so it's really cool to hear that you found a virtual job for yourself. And I think that we can have more resources out there to help military spouses who wants to carry their work with them to learn how they can do that.

: 13:28

Absolutely, it's I see up and coming more and more you know that remote work is becoming more popular. And that's great news for military spouses. Because the anxiety is completely off my chest when I know those orders that are going to come down the line in a few years. I don't have to worry about what jobs coming next. I know I can take this one with me. And I mean, for that I'm just eternally grateful for because the last thing we need on our plate, one more thing to worry about is military spouse.

Jen Amos: 13:57

Yeah, absolutely. I also like how you said that, in a way, you're glad that things turned out the way that they did. Because a lot of times we think that we have our lives in control. But yeah, many times God's like, yeah, no. And then it gives you something different. And it's actually better. And so I'm just really happy to hear that you're happy with where you currently at with your career and family and congrats to having your first child.

Unknown Speaker: 14:24

Thank you. And

: 14:25

I think that that essence that you're talking about is a perfect lead in to kind of why Jen and I created this blog in this community called whap. So as of the Air Force, because Jen and I bonded over a lot of things, but the root of our friendship is that we enjoy thriving in this lifestyle. Now we had both had experiences with some spouses that that just that was not their mentality that was not their approach, which is fine, you know, to each their own. But Jen and I didn't want to, you know, be miserable. As a military spouse. We wanted to really embrace this opportunity to travel the world to live in different places and embrace different cultures. And that's kind of what last is all about. Yeah.

Jen Amos: 15:07

Well, why don't we get into a little bit more about what your blog and community offers to fellow laughs?

: 15:16

Yeah, totally. So same thing that Kristin was just saying, or along those same lines. I know she shares a similar story, I remember working on my internship, oh, goodness, thankfully, none of them, listen to me anymore. But I would spend hours on the computer while I was interning, being like, What is life like to be an Air Force life? I just said, I mean, I had no idea. So I was gonna go anywhere to find some information. And like she said, I didn't find a lot. And I definitely didn't find a lot of things that made me feel super confident going into this life. It just every new experience was super exciting. But we had no expectations, we had no clue how to prep for it. So we just thought, as we were getting to know each other more and more like, man, if we just had known that, for example, that our lives with our husband flying the planes that they fly would not suck as bad as we've heard that it was going to, maybe we would have been able to prep ourselves, not to be as stressed out about this huge life change

: 16:26

that you're about today. Absolutely. And just simple things that gently convert, it was consistently coming back up, whenever we were with a group of spouses, like wow, I wish I would have had a resource to know, you know, what hairstylist that I would be able to use when I moved to this strange place where I know, no one, you know, and I need to get my hair cut. And I'm scared because I spent a lot of money on this before. And I don't want to go to somebody who's going to botch it, and have to then go back to my person in my hometown, which is however many hours away. So little things that are so trivial, but they just take a lot of stress off your plate if you have a resource or somebody to ask. And that's where we like plugged in, like we can be that resource. And we can use other people's opinions and testimonials that have been there live there. And you can trust.

Jen Amos: 17:18

Yeah, no, definitely. And you know, what I? What is it we've we've had, I think probably at this point, we'll have 15 episodes out of holding down the fort. And the common thing I find are here, when interviewing people in our community is that the reality is there are a lot of resources and education out there for military families. But it's more about the awareness. It's not like you move to a new place. And you have this book right here. Here's everything you need to know about this location. It's not like an Airbnb where they share, they recommend like the local restaurants or like local, whatever, kind of like okay, we just moved here. Now it's this whole scavenger hunt and trying to figure out like, where to find things and who to talk to. And what I find is that for many people, they tend to find their resources, and tips and advice through people who are just going through going through the same thing, as well. And so that's why this podcast came to be because I think we're more likely to take recommendations from people we know like and trust than from just being plopped somewhere and you're like, Okay, now now what, where do I go.

: 18:20

And so I really appreciate you both coming on to share your story and talk about your blog, and the things that you're doing and really thriving as military spouses. I'm just curious for both of you, what do you feel like is the the number one or maybe the top things that people come to you for when they learn about your blog in your community?

: 18:42

Two things, we have Survival Guide for a lot of different bases. And so that gives you just a quick down and dirty rundown about what the base is going to be like, where to get your hair done, to to see as your dentist, vibe about different neighborhoods that you are thinking about moving into. And then the other thing that has really kicked off probably in the last six months is our day in the life of Siri. So we have a lot of submissions from other laughs. Kirsten, I do not know everything. So we're a little community out here. And everyone will write in about what their lives are like with their spouse doing that specific job. So if they're in contracting, if they're a mechanic, if they are a pilot or a navigator, we have stories constantly coming out every month, explaining those career fields. So then other labs can look and see a real last experience. This is what it's like and this is how I am stronger because of it and how I get through it.

: 19:57

Yeah, and it's getting really it's so great because you're fine. You've gotten to the point where we're starting to get other last now reaching out with just like the same exact, exact job, but a different perspective. And that's so important because that's something that Jen and I have committed to from the very beginning is that we're number one, we are not the end all, we all have military knowledge, if anything, I'm like the worst when it comes to military knowledge. Macker 1,000%.

: 20:26

But we're not afraid to ask for help and reach out and connect people to each other. So I think that that is the most important part of this military community. And something that's overlooked a lot is that we're very large community of women wanting to help. And sometimes it gets weirdly competitive. And I'm not sure why. So we wanted last kind of be that safe space where we can have multiple voices on the same topic, and they're all welcomed and accepted.

Jen Amos: 20:54

Yeah, I knew that I was going to be really excited to speak with you, too, just by looking at your blog. And first, even though your names are in the very front, when I went through some blog entries, I was like, oh, where's Jen and Chris, you know, it was like a contribution of other people's stories. And I just love how open you are. In fact, I know that one of my good friends to Provo had submitted a story on your website as well. And so I just want to commend you both for what you've created. And I think it's, I think it's a reflection of your friendship, the fact that you to really sink well, and Bond well, that it really kind of creates this ripple effect, and attracts people to want to be part of your community. So So kudos to you, too. Thank you. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker: 21:41

very emotional people over here. Yes.

Jen Amos: 21:45

Oh, trust me, I'm the same way to I've been on shows where I just I start crying. And it's like, well, whatever. It's obviously, that you already have people submitting to your blog, and just adding more to the community. For those who are hearing about your blog and community for the first time and they want to submit something, how would they be able to do that?

: 22:08

The they have a couple of options, the easiest, most convenient way I think, is to just shoot us a quick VM on Instagram. And then we'll get you connected, where you need to go so that we can get your submission and kind of talk you through what we're looking for and give you some talking points and writing points and things of that nature. So usually, that's the easiest and most popular way that people do reach out to us. But we also have on the blog, if you just go to www dot wives of the air force.com There's a Contact Me page down there, you can get to that go straight to our email. And that's also a really easy way to get in touch with us.

Jen Amos: 22:46

Awesome. Well, Jen and cursed I had such an awesome and productive call with you. I feel like I learned so much about your lives and about the community you've created. And just how it just sounds like you two are owning this life. Like I don't hear any ounce of victim mentality. It just sounds like you two are really embracing it fully and and building families now, which I congratulate you for. Do you to have any closing thoughts before we go?

: 23:16

I'm just so thankful that you brought us on, I hope that we get some people listening that haven't heard about us. And maybe this was something that they were looking for, hopefully what they find is just a positive resource that can impact them and their outlook on the lifestyle that they're currently living in.

: 23:36

Absolutely, I think that it's we're so grateful to be here because like we've we've talked about several times already. We stand on that pillar of connecting people in this military community. And so we're happy to be here and connect our followers then with you as a resource. And in turn your community with ours, because that's what it's all about is us helping each other because that is how we end up thriving. I will tell you, there have been many moments where Jen and I have not been the most positive, optimistic individuals, thanks to military circumstances. But that's the point is that we have each other we have other people and friends and family that we are able to lean on that get us through and we intentionally surrounded ourselves with a community that loves and supports us. And that's all we want for all military spouses out there.

Jen Amos: 24:26

Beautifully said life is tough, but it's less tough when you're doing it with other people. Yes. Awesome. Well, ladies, I want to thank you so much for your time listeners. If you want to learn more about Jen and curse, check them out on the website wives of the Air Force. You could also check them out on Facebook and Instagram. And if you don't know how to find them, don't worry. I'm super generous. I like to add their contact information in the show notes. So Jen and Chris, I want to thank you both so much for your time and also once again for our listeners and we look look forward to speaking with you in the next episode. Tune in next time.

: 25:03

Thank you ever so much for having us in. You have a great weekend. I can't wait to listen to this one and listen to many more podcasts to come.

: 25:12

Thank you so much. We're so happy to be here and to share love with more military community. We look forward to continuing to flood you as a resource to our followers as well.

Jen Amos: 25:23

Awesome. Okay, thank you ladies.