102: "Strength is the common thread that we develop in this military life over and over again." Education, resources and community with Wendi Iacobello

Jen Amos 0:00

All right. Hey everyone. Welcome back to season five of the award winning podcast show holding down the fort. I am your co host, Jenn emos, also veteran spouse and goldstar daughter. And as always, I have my co host with me Jenny Lynn Stroup active duty military spouse of 12 years mom of two boys mental health advocate. Gentlemen, welcome back. Hey, thanks for having me. Glad to be here today. Yes, because at the time of this recording, it sounds like you really need this conversation today.

Speaker 1 0:26

I do it has been a day part of a really long week. That makes me very grateful for community and good conversation, because otherwise, I'd probably still be in bed.

Jen Amos 0:37

Yeah, no, I hear you. It's interesting, because during the pandemic, I feel like if I'm not on video calls, like, I'm literally just in bed. Like, if I don't have anything go on, I'm like, I'm just gonna be in bed because like, I cannot enjoy even being on screen for leisure, because I'm just always on the screen. So I just, I don't want anything, I'm just gonna be in bed. And that's it. No sounds no screens, just nothing. Anyway, more conversation on that another time. But uh, I'm really excited to have this conversation. And of course, Jenny, like, I just feel like having you on the show helps me be accountable to show up as well. So I just can't thank you enough for that. Let's go ahead and dive into conversation today. Today we have Wendy iaca Bello, who is a military spouse mom to a toddler boy, a blogger, freelance writer, published author and curriculum consultant. Wendy, welcome to the show.

Speaker 2 1:24

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here and chat with you ladies. Yeah, absolutely. So,

Jen Amos 1:28

you know, we found out offline that you and Jenny Lynn already have a couple things in common blogger, writer also experienced in public education. So I don't know jennylyn. Any opening thoughts from you?

Speaker 1 1:41

Oh, man, I'm just excited to hear all the things that Wendy does. And her take on curriculum and public education and publishing. It's all my favorite things. Oh, yeah. Other than mental health, of course. I mean.

Jen Amos 1:55

? So I thought I'd ask you as: 2021

Speaker 2 2:05

Oh, I think it's going great. Oh, good. Really getting settled here in our new duty station. We've been here since October. So we've been here a little while now. Getting my feet wet and doing some things in the community and just kind of making it feel like home?

Jen Amos 2:21

Yeah, definitely. So I know you have been an active duty military spouse or active duty military family for about a decade. Now. Is it surreal? Is it surreal to think like, wow, we've been in this life for like 10 years.

Speaker 2 2:32

It went by really fast. So my husband has been in for a decade. And I've been with him seven of those 10 years. So he had just finished up or was finishing up his very first contract in the military when we met and decided to resign again. So yeah, it was really fast. And I just I never thought that we would be here in Oklahoma. But here we are. Yeah,

Jen Amos 2:59

I think it's pretty crazy. Anyone Any thoughts? Like I saw you nodding were like, yeah, it flies by really fast. Well, I

Speaker 1 3:03

was wondering where Wendy was from originally since she said, I never imagined being here in Oklahoma. I'm from North Carolina. I thought so. I'm from Hampton Roads area of Virginia. So the accents are very similar. And I was like, that's not an Oklahoma accent. But it is Southern. Yes. Yes. I'm

Speaker 2 3:20

so proud of my home state. Hello, everyone. And I miss you.

Jen Amos 3:28

I love that. You know, I'm from California. So I don't know what you call a Cali accent other than just basic? I don't know. I think people have told me that I have a very broad cast. Do you like la voice even though I lived in San Diego for 20 years? And I was like, Oh, thanks. Like, thank you. Yeah, now that thank you know, it's funny, cuz like, I've had friends, like, tell me when I'm just like hanging out casually, they would say, you know, you could turn off your professional voice now. Like, you could just be normal. And I was like, but this is my voice. Like, this is who I am. You know, and I didn't realize like how, I don't know, polished I've, I have as a voice. But thank you, you know, so anyway, yeah. So when I was sorry, I totally got us off track with where you're? At no way. Well, I mean, if you think about it, like I think it's a great question to ask genuine because military families come from all walks of life. I mean, my dad joined the military in the 80s and 90s, when he was in the Philippines, you know, like, there's bases all over, like, I wouldn't be American, you know, it hadn't been for my dad, you know, serving in the military. And so I think the military is probably just like, the greatest example of diversity, I think, in a sense, and also just people again, coming from all walks of life. So it is fun to ask, and, you know, coming out here living I guess in the south, right, we call Virginia, the South jennylyn. Okay, we do. Yes. Yes. Mid Atlantic. Yeah. It's just funny because, you know, like, Scott is from like, the Midwest and he's, you know, he went to West Point. So he's, he knows more about the East Coast man. I'm like, fairly new. So I'm just like, I'm just Like, oh, like what is the south and California Education? No. Anyway, I now accept the fact that I lived in a bubble. But that's a another conversation for another time. So Wendy, I'm very fascinated by your background. First and foremost, you spent almost 10 years and public education. Tell us a little bit about that experience, and also how that has translated to you being a curriculum consultant today.

Speaker 2 5:22

Sure, well, my very first job when I graduated with my bachelor's degree was teaching classes to students pursuing their Associate's Degree in early childhood education, a Bachelor of Sciences in early childhood Ed. So the local community college hired me to teach those classes in Spanish, multilingual. So that was my very first teaching job. And I will tell you, I was so nervous, and so scared to be teaching college students his very first teaching job. And, you know, when you get in those moments where you're really afraid to do something, your life is about to be transformed, so don't back away from it. And I was at this point where I was like, I don't know if I can do this. I'm not sure I had butterflies and everything, but I pushed through it. And it ended up just kind of propelling my career in education. And just gave me such a wonderful experience. And, and from that point on, that was an adjunct position, so part time at the community college. And then I went on to get my certification and K 12 special education. So I was a teacher assistant, while also an adjunct at the community college, in special education and middle school. And then when I received my certification to teach k 12, I taught high school, special education and occupational course of study. So I did that for a year, that was a really like, the first year of teaching was crazy, I didn't have a classroom, I had to like, throw everything on a cart and move every like time, the bell would ring as a new teacher. And that was just insane. And I loved my students and everything. But I really found my niche in the community college environment in higher ed. So at that point, I decided to pursue other openings at the community college and remain teaching early childhood ed classes. In addition to I started teaching adult education and students who had dropped out of high school who wanted to pursue their GED. And so that also propelled me into working with adults with special needs and working with students. And then that were English as a second language students trying to pursue a GED here in the United States. And that was just an amazing experience. And I spent the rest of my career and add in adult education. In addition, one part I left out was working for a nonprofit and Adult Ed, and doing some work. And for people who were incarcerated men, women and youth who were incarcerated, I would go in, go through all these different doors and security checkpoints and teach them. And I loved that I found that really rewarding as well. So my teaching career over the last 10 years, I have worked with many different age groups, many backgrounds, many ability levels, and it's just a passion of mine, like you're either a born educator or you're not. And I know that's what I was born to do.

Jen Amos 8:22

Well, I think it's really incredible, just your wide experience of working with, you know, students from different ages and walks of life. And, you know, fast forward today, you being a curriculum consultant,

Speaker 1 8:33

that was a fun story. That is not how I expected it to go, I thought we were gonna have like that. And I taught elementary school. I mean, that's what I did. So I actually have an undergraduate degree in marketing management and a master's in pre K through six. And I taught fourth grade for several years in Virginia before we started the multiple PCs thing. So I did not license in every state that we were in. But it's fascinating to me that you have a degree in pre K, and ended up with like teaching adults because I, you know, I mean, I'm licensed pre K through six and really like fourth grade was it for me, like I didn't want to tie shoes and white noses and that didn't want to deal with the hormones of like, sixth grade, fourth grade was great. And then, you know, military life and having the license everywhere. I just stopped teaching as we moved and moved and moved and, you know, kind of ended up in a position of leadership and different volunteer coordinate and speaking to adults in the year, right. I think you're kind of a born educator, like even in the job that I do now. Part of what it's outreach, but it's also like education on military mental health, and I'm like, Oh, it's all coming together. But I never imagined my audience being adults, because I was very comfortable in front of 20 or 30 kids because I was the adult but to stand up in front of other adults and like, be the authority in the room was a hard shift for me. So I think it's amazing that you initially licensed and pre K and went right into the complete opposite of pre K education.

: 10:04

Yes. And you know, like just having my son now I'm going back to a lot of my undergraduate degree stuff and trying to remember all types of different things. But one thing that stuck with me throughout my entire teaching career and this is where I'm going to get a little education nerdy for a second, but I love it is all of the theories and everything that you learn in child development really apply to many different stages of learning and many different groups of people. So like Maslow's hierarchy of needs, you can't learn when your brain is stressed. Think about it, even as adults, if we've got a million things on our mind, it's hard to sit in a classroom and focus on subject matter when you're like, oh, my goodness, I'm PCs in or my husband's deployed next week, or, you know, the brain cannot learn when it's stressed no matter what age you are. So there are a lot of those developmental theories that apply to all types of age groups. And I'm really nerdy all into those theories all the time. But yeah, and then landing into a role doing some curriculum development, do some things behind the scenes, it's just a dream come true. I've officially been doing that on contract for a year now with an amazing company that works with at risk high schoolers who are at risk of dropping out. And they catch them before they drop out and help them graduate in their districts. And so it's not a GED that they get the actual diploma within their district and their state. So that's pretty cool. That's cool.

Jen Amos: 11:28

Yeah, I love that. Well, when do you thank you for sharing that? And what is that, like, I guess, as a military spouse, like does that require some sort of like meeting in person or like you're able to work virtually with that,

: 11:39

with this type of role that I'm in now it's very project based. So it really works with having a young baby, a toddler, especially because I'm not required to log in at certain times of day, if, if I get to work at 10 o'clock at night, that's okay. As long as I'm meeting the project deadlines, I'm okay. And so having that flexibility really works for military life and being a mother.

Jen Amos: 12:04

Yeah, definitely. You know, having been a military child, for the first 10 years of my life, my adult life is really manifested to everything flexible, like I just, I love just being able to work on projects when I want how I want as long as I want. Although lately, it's been way too much. I'm definitely been a workaholic during this pandemic, but by choice. So there you go. And it's just nice, you know, to have that kind of flexibility, especially if you are balancing, you know, other things in your life, or just to have it like, I just think you can never really go wrong with that kind of flexible, you know, work life, I think. So other than that, I'm going to go ahead and shift gears here and talk about you as a writer, and everything, Wendy? So I don't know, I had to say that I could just gone into it. So I'm just gonna get into it. So. So Wendy, in addition to what you do as a curriculum consultant, you're a blogger and a freelance writer and a published author. And I want to talk a little bit about the freelance writing first, because you have been featured in a couple of notable sites such as military comm next gen mill, spouse, military, one, click everything, military. And so let us know like when people come across your articles, is there a common theme that you like to write about

: 13:12

AI for AI in all types of areas, but what I really encourage people to do is to get out and explore their communities and get outside. And I know that you're really big into mental health on this podcast. So I'm going to throw some little golden nuggets in there about mental health. But as someone like myself, who struggled for over 20 years with depression and anxiety, getting outdoors, works wonders for the soul, and a good exercise regimen had changed my world and changed my life many years ago, when I was just facing trying to live a healthier life and things like that. So one thing I really try to do is try to connect people with activities and things to do where they might be stationed. I've written a lot about Fort Bragg, that's where we were for a great amount of time. And now I'm starting to do some writing in the works about for sale. And then also, I like connecting military spouses with resources, because it just really breaks my heart when I see a military spouse struggling or they're alone, or they're new somewhere far away from family and maybe they don't know what the resources are. So that really tugs at my heartstrings. And I guess maybe that's the educator piece of me trying to come in and help connect people with those different resources. And especially, I think I've quoted the Coen veterans network for mental health and several of my most recent articles this year, because I think it's important to know what your options are out there when you're struggling and you need to reach out for some help. Yeah, well, speaking of which, jennylyn shameless plug for code veterans network.

: 14:53

Now I think that's great. It's funny, I love the Jen asked you that question and I equally love your answer because I get the same one on Like, what do you write about? I'm like, What? Don't I read it? Like? How do you explain to people that you write about, like the intersection of all the things that make you you? Cuz I'm not I don't do I would never do curriculum writing or academic writing because that's hard for me. My brain works in story and personal story. And so people are like, what do you write about? I'm like, Huh, huh, where all the things come together, but it takes me 15 minutes to describe what all of those pieces are. So I appreciate the fact that you did that very succinctly and knew exactly what you write about. And also, you're very thoughtful about your answer. Because the truth is, you probably write about quite a bit. And it all has to do with you with the person like you know where you're at, personally, and what's going on in your own life. And so that was great. also appreciate like the mental health blog. We do talk about that a lot on this podcast, and CO and veterans network, also a great place. great resource. I was gonna ask if you guys are in Fayetteville, when you were like, Oh, yeah, Army, North Carolina. I was like, ooh, Fayetteville. Fort Bragg. Very familiar.

Jen Amos: 16:06

Yeah. I'm curious. Wendy, as a freelance writer, I'm curious, have you always considered yourself a freelance writer or did that sort of comes to play during your military life,

: 16:15

it did kind of evolve during military life. My blog kind of started out as a website for graduate school projects. And I was trying to create a site specifically for Fort Bragg to put all the resources on one page, because it felt like you had to like all these different Facebook pages in order to keep up with what's going on with the USO of North Carolina with this and all these different things, it's a little bit overwhelming. So I wanted to put everything in one place. And I had to come up with a website name. So I started looking for things. And strength is really a common thread of something that we have to develop in this life over and over again, just through different situations, different PCs is and things like that, I thought I was a really strong person. And then I met, my husband got married and join this life. And I realized that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. So the name strength or spouses evolved, just because strength is a common thread. And then the website I created for graduate school project was not that beautiful, because it was from the old coding stuff. And let me just tell you, for anybody who can code and do websites out there, my hat's off to you, I dabbled in it in my master's program, and it's not my string. So I ended up changing the website, and then started a blog from it and decided, you know, I'm gonna start writing. And I did that in 2017, and just kind of close my eyes and press the publish button on my first post, and really nervous putting things out there. But it was received really well. And, you know, my very first freelance writing opportunity kind of propelled me into that blog writing. And then another military spouse helped me kind of gain another freelance writing opportunity, and it just kind of grew from there. And I've always loved writing, I was a language arts teacher and with many different groups in my teaching career, and so it's always been a passion of mine. Yeah, I

Jen Amos: 18:18

appreciate you explaining why you chose strength. And it's true, it's like, depending on the situation, depending on our season of life, like, it's always going to require a different level of strength, right? And we got to, you know, it's these different situations that really get to show us how strong we really are. And so I like that, you know, your website strength for spouses dot blog includes the word strength jennylyn, you know, obviously, you write and you have been published in a couple of sites as well. So any thoughts?

: 18:46

When I started my blog in 2017, I was like, oh, fancy, that's fun. I mean, I think it's awesome that you started to place one of the things that I think is really difficult for military spouses in general is that we have a plethora of resources. And there are very few places that bring them all together. And so it's just constantly like, there are 1000 things to pick from, and you just don't know where to go to pick them. So to do it, like localize, I think it's great. You know, here in San Diego, we have military family collaborative of VSOs and msos, that get together monthly. And having been a part of that out here. Like it's something that I hope to take with me in my military spouse career, because it's just a great way to get people connected that wouldn't normally be connected because you just when you're overwhelmed, or you need help, like the last thing you want to do is sift through 80,000 options. So I think it's awesome that it like started, you know, started as like a Hey, click here for this and then to, you know, write your personal experience and help spouses that way I think is really cool.

: 19:58

And I think you know, We've had a lot of situations over the years that have made the news where a spouse has been in crisis. And, you know, nothing tugs at my heart more than those situations and thinking like did that person know what the resources were, or when you're in a certain crisis, like you said, you don't want to have to look through things, or sometimes you don't even know where to start, your brain can even process where to begin. But having those resources available, easy to find, I think is really important for those times of crisis. Absolutely,

Jen Amos: 20:32

and something that we talked about in our season four finale, actually, gentleman brought this up. And I didn't realize that what we were doing on our show, which was, you know, sharing resources, as well as storytelling, you know, being able to tell a story about why a certain resource is important. And I say all that because I feel like, yes, like our community is inundated with, you know, resources. And it could be overwhelming. But I think that when you can attach a story, you can connect it with, let's say, a human being who has used that resource themselves. And I think it makes it easier to want to consider, you know, that resource. And I think initially, when we're going through some kind of crisis, I think, first and foremost, we're looking for a sense of community or connection with someone, and then the resource, whatever they have a recommend seems more relevant, as opposed to, you know, feeling isolated, and needing help and not knowing where to go. I think it could be very easy to feel inundated with all this information and really not know where to begin. But that's why you know, even on our show, we always stress the importance of community, because I think it's in those communities, you're able to find those relevant resources are really trustworthy, right, because if you trust that community, you can trust for the most part, you know, the resources that they're recommending,

: 21:38

yes, and one that I want to throw out there, as well for mothers, and it doesn't matter if you have one child, you have one on the way, or you have several children, there's the new parent Support Program, which is present at most all army bases. And I think other branches of the military may have something very similar to that. But that's something that I enrolled in before my son was born. And I cannot tell you like how amazing and empowering that experience was, for me, I started at Fort Bragg before my son was born, and had the most amazing woman just working with me empowering me to become a mother for the first time. And then when we arrived here for sale, I got set up with the new parent Support Program here at Fort Sill. And it's just great to have a person to talk to you. Because a lot of the people who work for the new parent Support Program, not only are they parents, but there have a background in nursing, and different areas where they really are full of knowledge and resources for you to really help you. So if you're a mother out there, or a mother to be, or a mother of several children, it doesn't matter. Contact them and see what they can do for you and help you through some of the things you might be going through. Awesome. Thank

Jen Amos: 22:55

you for sharing that. Well, Wendy, you know, I know that part of what we want to talk about is really just stressed the importance of finding resources and going out and explore. So obviously, people can visit your website if they want to, you know, find additional resources or recommendations or strength for spouses, that blog. But is there anything else that you want to share in our conversation today in regards to, you know, some recommended resources,

: 23:16

I think I've mentioned the most helpful ones already, which have been for me as the Coen veterans network and the new parents support program. I know, as a mother, it can get really lonely at times, if your spouse is away, or working really long hours like mine does all the time you spend all your days alone, and for some part of your night. So different resources like that, I think can really help you through. But I also want to chat about like, just getting out of your house again, now that we can breathe again from COVID a little bit and start exploring your community a little bit.

Jen Amos: 23:55

Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I know that for you finding purpose and different seasons of your life or in this case, military life is extremely important. Yeah, let's talk about that a little bit more and how you've been able to, I guess unexpectedly find that being outdoors and go into the parks.

: 24:11

Again, we talked in the first part of this about just for your mental health, how important is to get outside also how important it is to find ways to exercise and when I had my son, I wasn't able to exercise that much. I thought I was going to be doing all these things while he was napping and asleep. But I had one of those children that just didn't sleep every night. So my life for like a solid 12 months was was pretty insane. And all the things that really helped me through my mental health kind of went on the back burner. So I really want to encourage people to get outdoors. being outdoors is supposed to be safer than being indoors doing things with COVID anyway, but there are a lot of research backed articles and support Showing how important being outside is for your mental health and your physical health. So I really want to stress that. And again, finding ways that work for you to exercise. One thing I did during the pandemic bought a bike and about an infant seat and a helmet for my son. And I thought like, he enjoys movement, maybe he'll like this. And he ended up loving it. So I was able to get exercise, he was able to get some fresh air and a free little ride on the bicycle. And I had some time to think where it was quiet, where he wasn't crying, so. So that was really helpful, too.

Jen Amos: 25:39

I love that. Yeah. At the time of this recording, my husband and I are just talking about because the days are longer now because it's spring. And even at the end of all my meetings, it's still still sunlights We're like, so he's like, hey, do you want to go rollerblading? Like that's like, when do you think we picked up during the pandemic? Oh, actually, the reason why. The reason why we picked up rollerblading is because we have a dog, and there's only so much we can do to like exercise them. So I thought, oh, let's get rollerblades because then he's gonna run with this, he's gonna get his exercise, we're gonna get our exercise. And so anyway, that's what we're gonna do. And it's just been kind of fun to share a hobby with my husband, because he's more of like, I mean, if he got back into working out, he would be more of like a crossfitter, for example, and I'm like, I don't like to lift weights, okay, like, I don't wanna do that. I would rather do something else like rollerblading. So it's just a fun family thing that we get to do together and like the whole family gets to workout kind of thing. And love it. That's awesome. That's great. Yeah, and, you know, I mean, we have lived out here for like, two years now. But we're still sort of exploring our neighborhoods. So being able to rollerblade, you know, is another way to, you know, explore the neighborhood. So, you know, just really excited about that. Anyway, those are my thoughts genuine, but I check in with you.

: 26:42

So to my initial thought is, man, I'm really impressed. You got a bike during COVID those things were like solid gold, trying to order one during all this. And I really thought, Jen, you're gonna say we started rollerblading because we couldn't buy a bike because my kids both outgrew theirs during this, and we're at this point, we're like, we're gonna hold off till we move like we're not purchasing another bike. But as far as purpose goes, I mean, I think it kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier with, like the education thing. My life as a military spouse has kind of, at this point, driven, the purpose for me that I didn't even know was going to be a thing. Like, when I set out to go to college, I got a marketing degree because the theory was like, you can do anything with a business degree. We know you can't do with a business degree, you can't teach elementary school, so that I went and got a master's in elementary education, because then I could teach elementary school. And I did that for a few years, and then military life and all those things. And, you know, here I am. 12 Let's, uh, we've been married 12 years now, I'm 12 years into this military life and you know, do outreach for military mental health, something that at 18 when I went to college for business, like what if never, never crossed my mind, and I even went to a school with like a corps of cadets like they were actually military students still, like, no, not even a sliver of a thought that like, this would be the life I would end up leading. And yet, though, it's tough, as we discussed kind of offline and all the things happening, Murphy's Law happening while we PCs right now, which is awesome. You know, there's no place I'd rather be and no purpose, I'd rather attack either personally or publicly, you know, my work life, then helping military families get back to better like that is very important to me, and now informs what I do professionally. But it started several years ago, personally, and just sitting around tables with fellow military spouses and hearing their stories and sharing my own and kind of becoming the person people were like, Oh, so that happened at your house, let me tell you what happened at mine, you know, that now really informs what I do professionally. And so it's fascinating to me how that purpose like changes and grows. And, you know, I actually have the military lifestyle to thank for the fact that I feel at 38 years old, probably the most purposeful I've felt in my adult life. And I also attribute that to being 38. Like, I think that you're much better at owning what you want to do by this point in your life than at 20 when you're like, oh, all the things. But you know, I do. I feel very purposeful, and it's mostly attributed to the things I've done is military spouse.

: 29:33

I think we can always look at our experience in this site, and take our experiences and develop a purpose from it. For example, a few years ago, before my husband and I had a baby, we had a miscarriage. And so I spent a lot of time after that after going through my own healing process. I spent a lot of time advocating for military couples and I still do for those who have lost a baby those who are going through infertility treat Then some things like that. And that was totally driven by my own personal experience with it. And it's something that I will always hold dear. And it's something that does come up in some of my writings sometime because I want to normalize these things so that women don't feel so alone. And they go through that. Other purposes just kind of develop when you go to a new duty station. A lot of times what I've noticed we, as military spouses do is we kind of look around our environment and our surroundings sometimes, and we may see something that's missing, we may see a resource that is lacking, and we figure out a way to make it happen, we figure out a way to try and make things better for the community. For example, here in Oklahoma, if there is wind in the state, like I've never seen in my life, I heard about that before we came here. But living in an experience in it every day is a hat day, and you just have to dress for the wind and embrace it or you will never get outside. So I've learned how to do that with my son. But I've also noticed one of the effects from the wind is blowing trash and litter everywhere around this place. So when I take my son to parks, and playgrounds and stuff like that, there's a lot of litter on the ground. And luckily, I don't have a child that puts everything in his mouth. But that doesn't mean someone else will bring their child there and start putting trash in their mouth. So it has become like my current like fun little purpose and getting outside and really rallying the community and people to pick up the parks and clean up the parks. So I recently worked with deployed love for still a nonprofit org. And we got together trying to get people out in the community to enjoy the sunshine. And we have a park cleanup, we wanted to get the park cleaned up where they were going to have an Easter egg hunt for children. So we had over 10 families, over 25 people came out, we had target sponsoring what we were doing the city of Lawton, and also local coffee shop verdean coffee, and they all kind of contribute in some different things to help us make this happen. And people came out. Even spouses had contacted me and said, You know, it was so good to have a reason to get out of the house and do something positive. And so that just made me feel like yay, we didn't just clean the park, we brought people out and made them feel good. And purposeful. So I believe that your purpose does change. As military spouses, we have this gift of just looking around and figuring out like, what can I do to make this better for people in this community. And I really think that's the beauty of this life is the gift that it gives us to do that.

Jen Amos: 32:44

Wow, that was just so really inspiring, and also reassuring, I think about just my adult life and how I've changed careers every I mean, not three to five years, you know, and I think that's probably has a lot to do with my Military Child Life, you know, but I love it. I used to think that was a problem. I used to think like, Oh, I just can't commit to anything. And I was like, No, that's just how I was built. And honestly, it's fun. Like, it's fun to reinvent yourself. It's fun to, you know, find a new purpose. And it's just fun to explore just a different side of yourself, essentially, I mean, going back to that definition of strength and being able to, you know, see how strong you really are given different situations and finding your purpose out of that. I think it's beautiful.

: 33:23

I loved hearing about that, I think and what you said to you about like that reinvention. I mean, as we're on the eve of a PCs, I'm going home, like I'm going back where I grew up, where people that I've known my whole life live. And also, you know, it's been a decade since I've been there. And so even in going home, there is the ability to reinvent, right, like, I'm not gonna live in the house I grew up in obviously, like we're moving to our own our own home with our own family. And, you know, the demands of Navy life being a large part of that. It's fascinating to me to look back at all of the things I've been able to do as a military spouse and realize, and even just personally that didn't necessarily have anything to do with being a military spouse, but just where I was, at the time how all those little pieces add up into, like, who you are at this moment. And what is important to you, like I think about our duty station prior to San Diego was New York City, not a huge military area, we were pretty much one of one military families and Amazon, like not just one of one there, but like one of one that anybody knew, like we were the window to the military world, which in a lot of ways was really interesting. You know, we debunked a lot of myths, which was exciting. And you know, in some ways got to show like, Hey, this is really who we are and what we do. But in that there I mean, I wasn't a part of any military organizations. I was a participant in organizations and so I was the hospitality coordinator for my mops group and it was like, Oh, you're from the south like hospital. That's Delta casseroles and things right? Like, that's your. And to some extent, yeah, I mean, the role fit, right? I grew up being somebody, somebody dies, you bring casserole. So my baby bring casserole is a very natural fit. But you know, now that I do outreach professionally, I mean, that's what you're doing, you're being hospitable for people to come into your organization and like being welcoming and open. And I just think all of those little pieces that have come together over the years really are what you know, gets you to a Saturday picking up trash with target sponsoring your event. Because all of those things made you who you are in that moment and give you all the tools to bring people together to do the things that affect your community. And I will say that as a military spouse, and for military spouses, I think that is one thing we as a group are excellent at is working at community, because we so often have to reinvent it. for ourselves, I think we are able to create good community wherever we go.

Jen Amos: 36:01

Oh, that was so touching. jennylyn Thank you for sharing that. Like I feel so warm inside.

: 36:05

You're welcome. I should have added like whether or not you're bringing casserole like casserole not required.

Jen Amos: 36:12

Yeah, we won't turn you away, because I can't make casseroles so I'm gonna come in anyway. Yeah. And then actually, I feel like I have to kind of like, go back to where we're talking about earlier about, like, why my husband and I are rollerblading is he actually did try to get a bike as well, same problem. Like he was actually going to try to get a Fat Tire bike, because like, you know, we live on the beach. So he always gets really envious of all the people with like Fat Tire bikes on there. He's like, I need a Fat Tire bike. So we actually tried searching for it. And like literally none of the local stores like have it. It's just quite bizarre. And so yeah, I mean, yeah, for the bike industry. Right. Awesome. Well, I feel like we had a really, really wonderful conversation today with you, Wendy, I want to thank you again, so much for joining us. And also, I always feel like I want to do my best to make sure I pull out everything that you want to share on this show. So are there any parting thoughts that you want to share with us today? You know, with our community here at holding down the fort.

: 37:04

I just want to encourage everyone to again, get outside. Think of different ways to develop your inner strength in this life. Let your passions guide you to your purpose.

Jen Amos: 37:18

And on that note, let us know and of course we'll provide this in the show notes. How would you like people to get ahold of you?

: 37:23

Sure. You can find me on Instagram at strength, the number four and spouses You can also find me on my Facebook page. Same thing at strength, the number four and spouses and of course on my website that you mentioned earlier.

Jen Amos: 37:36

Perfect. Awesome. Well, thank you again, Wendy. I really enjoyed our conversation. Gentlemen, any closing thoughts from you? Nope. Just the closing statement. That's right in front of me today. All right, well, then take it away gentlemen.

: 37:49

We hope that today's episode gave you one more piece of knowledge, resource or relevant story so you can continue to make confident and informed decisions for you and your family. We look forward to speaking with you in the next episode. Tune in next time.