196: Michele Kostedt Bridges the Gap Between Healthcare and Sick Care Through Nurse Coaching

Jen Amos 0:01

All right. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode here at holding on the 14th. I'm really excited to be speaking with Michelle Costa today. She is a nurse coach and founder of intentional wellness nurse coaching. Michelle, welcome to the show. Thank you. Yes. And I am excited to speak with you because you are fresh out of the service to see Oh, program by the road network. Is that correct? Yes.

Michele Kostedt 0:26

I just graduated last December. Well, congratulations.

Jen Amos 0:29

You have to tell me, what does your life look like now? You know, since since then, because I'm sure I mean, we can get into the backstory later. But what does it looks like now since you graduated? Well, so

Michele Kostedt 0:38

for now, it's busy, because I just have so many hopes and dreams, my mind is just racing of all the different possibilities that I can do. So I am just starting my business. I'm launching it this year. And so a lot of that involves just getting over my website going in or reaching out to potential clients and networking. And then lots of research, too. So a lot of business research, lots of podcasts, I'm listening to just a lot of self growth.

Jen Amos 1:09

Yeah, I love that. You have to tell me as someone who has a background as a registered nurse, how did you even get into entrepreneurship to begin with?

Michele Kostedt 1:19

Well, it was really nothing I ever saw coming. I never had an any dream of owning my own business, I always thought that was too much work. It was, it wasn't creative enough, I really just been in this model of just doing my job day in and day out. But things have really kind of fallen into place over the last few years. And I, I saw something about the Rosie network, oh, gosh, probably a year or two ago, but I didn't really think much of it. And but I guess I just tucked it away in the back of my mind. And then more recently, I heard about nurse coaching. And it piqued my interest because I've really started to get into more of the holistic health model. And so the more I learned about nurse coaching, and it's worth working towards that certification, I learned that I can actually have my own practice as a nurse. And so then I knew that I needed some resources. I didn't have any background in business. And I heard I remember learning about the resi network and their entrepreneurial program. And so I applied and they were gracious enough to welcome me in. And I learned so much during those months, and especially with all the different mentors that they would provide for me just try I'm just trying to absorb all the information I can right now.

Jen Amos 2:43

Yeah, I mean, it's it's fresh, you know, you're you're new at this. And I imagine you were just inundated with all this information. And now it's sounds like the start of the year is really about what do you implement? Like, where do you even begin? And do you have like, an initial first steps for yourself to kick off the year?

Michele Kostedt 3:02

I do. I mean, first I'm just finishing the website. So trying to get that and then from there, it will still be about networking, and really just trying to get my name out there and just get more and more clients and just try to grow my business little by little.

Jen Amos 3:20

Yeah. You know, when I think about a nurse, I think about, you know, someone who works in the metal medical field and obviously follows rules and, you know, kind of just follows orders in the sense like, kind of like the military. And I remember meeting someone for the first time, who she considered herself like a nurse practitioner that's like hunters entrepreneur together. Sure, and not a nurse coastland not a nurse, nurse coach like you. But I guess in a way it was it was it was like a little bit of life coaching with the fact that she was a nurse and and that was the first time I was like, Whoa, I don't think I've ever met anyone who, you know, comes from that background, that rigid background of the medical industry, and is taking a different approach to helping people. So I'd say you're like the second person I've met. You know, that's doing that. And so for people that are hearing about what, Nurse coach for the first time, can you tell us a little bit about what that means? Sure.

Michele Kostedt 4:12

So a nurse coach is by definition, a registered nurse that is specially trained in practices to for coaching for like lifestyle implementation. So in the traditional medical world, there's a big gap between sick care and, and healthcare really. So it seems like at this point they've a conventional model of medicine is when people go to the physician for either their yearly physicals, which are very brief, and it's basically just a recap of what they've been doing and get to get refills on the medication or they're coming in because they're sick and the visits are very quick. There's not a lot of time to discuss lifestyle changes. So most often the visits are when the patient goes in for the visit. They to present their symptoms, and then they leave with either a referral for a specialist or a new medication or a change in medication. And then at the very end, there may be some mentioned to lose weight or, you know, stop drinking or stop smoking or, you know, some some type of lifestyle modification. And at best, you might get a nutrition consult or, you know, weight management console, but that's about it. And then the, there's follow up in three, six months or a year. And so the patient is left to really figure out, okay, well, now I need to make these changes, but how, and they may even be motivated for a week or two and clean out all the junk in their cabinets, but then it just goes right back to normal. So as a nurse coach, I get to have the opportunity to kind of fill in that gap and to support people with their lifestyle management. So when they have goals to help them we meet meet weekly and to figure out, you know, what's your goal for this week? How can I help you? What are some possible obstacles? What are some challenges that you foresee? What will you do to please, you know, overcome those challenges? And then even go deeper with those conversations to figure out why even need to lose weight? Are you just losing weight, because your doctor told you or because you want to, you know, fit into another size of jeans? Are you doing it because you want to be healthier, you want to be there for your kids, your grandkids, you want to be able to get down on the floor easier and get back up? You know, are you You know, all kinds of different things. So we go with the relationships that we form, were able to get to a lot deeper issues, and it's a we have a lot more successful outcomes that way. So I guess in answer to your question, Nurse coach is really there to provide support in in all areas of the body. So it's we see the client as not just a physical being and with physical symptoms, but we really look at their spiritual, mental emotional well being as well. Can you

Jen Amos 7:01

help me understand? Like, for example, you mentioned, like I think about my own annual checkup, and exactly what you said, I see her once a year, first, the nurse talks to me, you know, gets my holes or whatever they do your checks, does like the typical, like, look into your ear and check your eyes and all that, and then ask like basic questions. And then when my primary care physician comes, it just happens so fast, you know, it's probably less than 10 minutes, can you help me understand like the, I guess, the business model behind like a physician only being there for such a short timeframe? Like it just feels way too fast? It's I don't know if it's because of my health insurance, like the kind of health insurance I have? Or is it just like, because there's so many clients? They they have to do that they have to like, kind of like work smartly.

Michele Kostedt 7:47

Yeah, well, it probably varies from industry going from different organizations to another, but I know my experience, the have metrics that they have to meet, they have to see a certain number of patients and usually they're scheduled it, you know, they have 15 minute blocks, and then within that, so they're seeing patients every 15 minutes, but then they still have the charting to do and you know, the billing, they have to bill for all the time seen. And, and usually they'll even look at the chart before they go into the room. So that even cuts the time down with the actual patient, even more. So their payment, the physicians payment is based on the number of patients that they see. And then to complicate it even more, there's metrics that they have to meet. So depending on the department or the organization, that the they may have different focus, you know, where they have to address blood pressure for every single patient and, you know, have that documented? Are there certain goals within the organization, so, that even narrows the focus down even more within each appointment? Yeah,

Jen Amos 8:48

well, I appreciate you explaining that. Because, you know, I'm not trying, I'm not going to sit here and try to villainize the medical industry. And anyway, that's not my goal. It's more of like, seeking to understand, like, I'm just trying to understand, like, I have health insurance and you know, the very minimum I see my physician once a year and it just happened so fast. And if it wasn't for my husband and I who really value taking care of our health, you know, we live a pretty healthy lifestyle, we exercise frequently or, you know, daily, we eat well, we eat locally sourced food, like we do a lot of things to just take care of ourselves. And, you know, I have a therapist, I take care of my mental health, like these are all things that are important to us. On the other side, though, you know, I think about like one family member in particular right now who's very important to us that all they do is with every little issue, they go to the hospital and they come back out with more like prescriptions or you know, being prescribed more things and, and they're just fine. going through the motions like that. And as much as we're like, hey, you know, maybe there's a different route maybe we can try something different. I think it's just the mindset of well, health care supposed to help me with my health. They're supposed to care for my health, but it just feels like there's a like, it just seems like something was off. You know, something that was like I was at that, you know, we like how is it that they have to go to to the hospital more, when if maybe they just did some things that are more sustainable, it could maybe be different, like not every pill can solve every problem, you know. And so it's just, you understand what I'm trying to say with that, like, just the observation of that. Definitely,

Michele Kostedt: 10:18

yeah, our patients seem to be in sicker instead of healthier. And the chronic illness is just as a huge problem the United States. And we are, even though we have we spend so much money on, quote, health care, our country as a whole is getting sicker and sicker we have as you if you look at the timeline, throughout history, we have more people that are obese, more people with high blood pressure, our chronic illness rates, and autoimmune illness rates are increasing. So even with all the advances in technology, and our premium medical industry, but we have so many advancements at our fingertips, at the same time, our population is getting sicker instead of healthier.

Jen Amos: 11:03

Yeah, absolutely. And another thing that I observe is I have a family member who I think there's just this, like, full belief that, like, the hospitals or Western medicine will solve it all. And they have all the answers. And I think it's safe to argue against that, or to have to have some skepticism, and to recognize that, like, we can make a difference, we can listen to our own bodies, and our own needs, and do something different. But I think it's just, you know, there's only so much like I'm not, you know, I'm not going to be here to change anyone I'm trying not to, it's more of like, I think from one love one to another, it's just sometimes it's just painful to watch, you know, it's painful to watch that things are just not getting better. And like, the health is continuing to decline. And so all all my husband and I can do, for example, is like focus on ourselves and try to hint every now and then like, whenever they have something to say about their health and how it's declining, it's like, you know, it gets to try to figure out how to like, like, we're actively trying to navigate that conversation. But all that being said, I think it's great that you know, you exist as a nurse coach, and I'd love to hear more for people who maybe notice something similar, who are like, you know, what, I need to do something more than just do the annual exams, or I need to do something more than just, you know, take the medications. Tell us about your process, Michelle, and how you help people should they work with you.

Michele Kostedt: 12:24

So as a nurse coach, we first start with, you know, really just a discovery call just to kind of meet each other, figure out, you know, if we're a good fit, and then from there, our next session is really about doing more of like an assessment and intake and figuring out, really talking to the client, and finding out their health from all different aspects. So not just their physical health, not just what how much they weigh what medications are taking, but really talking to them about their emotional status, their eat, maybe how their relationships are going, their marriage, their spiritual beliefs. Are there any other stress that's going on in their life? So because all of that really plays a part in their overall health, it's all we're in integrative being. And then from there, and just figure out what's most important to them, what what does the client want to work on, because it doesn't matter what I think is important, it's their body, it's what they want to do. And the client itself, they have to be willing to make the changes, and it could be as big or as little as they want to. And then my job is really just to give, you know, guide them coach them celebrate successes. And even when we come back the next week, if they're maybe they didn't succeed was what they wanted to, then we can figure out what happened and provide the support. And, you know, really just there to help them along the way. I had a client that was came to me really just because she was overwhelmed, she was just stressed with life, and she didn't even know where to begin. So the best things about nurse coaching is I'm an active listener, I am there simply just to listen to you, to give you that safe space, judgment free. And that was really what she needed the most was, she lived alone, she was dealing with a lot and she really had no one to talk to. I mean, she had some family and friends but no one there to really give her that time and space to really let her all of her feelings out with with no judgment. I had no agenda on the table. I was just there to listen and give her support.

Jen Amos: 14:37

Yeah, so it's like you're like a built in therapist as well.

Michele Kostedt: 14:41

I, I am in some ways, I'm just there to listen, but not not really to give advice. You know, I the client themselves knows their own body and what they need to do for themselves. So I am there to maybe ask them deeper and more powerful questions and maybe help them shift their mindset, I had another client was, had gone through a lot of a lot of changes, a lot of stress, a lot of trauma. And she was just really trying to figure out, you know what to do, she was grieving the loss of all the changes. And through a little bit of mindset work, we were able to let her kind of shift her thinking to saying, yes, all that those things had happened. But I survived it. And I'm an overcomer. And I'm stronger for it. And yes, it's okay, we can grieve the losses. But now we can start to move forward and think about the future and what that holds for us. And I think just even though it was her own words, I just kind of helped her shifted ever so slightly, so that instead of feeling I don't even know what to do. Now she felt stronger. And you know, that she's overcome. And yeah, I've done this. And I think it just gave her more strength to be willing to carry on and move forward. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 16:01

it sounds like you were a really good soundboard for her. And you were able to mirror back, like what she was saying, but But saying it differently so that she can have a little more confidence with how she approaches taking care of her health. Yeah, and I think that's wonderful. I think sometimes we need that we need that soundboard. We need someone else to observe, like, what we're going through how we're feeling, and give us a different perspective on how we're viewing like our our current reality at that time, and what we can do to get out of it. I know that you're early on in your business. And so I'm curious, if you have like a particular demographic you have in mind like have you thought about I'm sure you learned about this in the Rosi network, but did you come up with like an avatar that you have.

Michele Kostedt: 16:44

So it's a little twofold. So at this point, I don't necessarily have a particular population, other than just someone that really wants to make some lifestyle changes. So it could be I mean, it really could be anyone at male, female, young, old, it doesn't matter, but maybe someone that is actively seeking maybe a more holistic lifestyle. And so I'm probably leaning more towards people make wanting to make more. And those changes in the physical realm versus maybe someone that is focusing on body image or relationship help or you know that because I mean, with nurse coaching could do any different type of thing. So I'm probably looking to work with people that are looking to make more lifestyle changes for their health, but I also it for maybe a more long term goal, I really have a heart for the military to you, and for military widows, so I would really like to work with them in the future. One of the things that really resonated me with me as I was going through the nurse coaching program is during one of our modules, one of the lessons said, When was last time you felt fully seen and fully heard. And that meant so much to me, because I remember that we haven't mentioned this yet on the podcast yet, but I am unable to win it myself. And so it resonated with me because as a military widow, I remember that time where I wasn't, I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to you, I had made friends and family. But I didn't have that connection. I mean, everyone that I was talking to you, they had to go someplace or they you know, they were there to for a quick call. But they weren't, I didn't feel like they were necessarily there to truly listen to me over anything that I had. And so that just hasn't left me whenever since I've heard that when I was going through my nurse coaching training, I that just struck me to the core. And so I thought that would be a great thing to do as a nurse coach is to work with other military widows or even just spouses that had their, their wives, their husbands deployed, because again, they're just alone for months at a time. And so just to be able to be that person to really let them know that they are fully seen and fully heard.

Jen Amos: 19:00

Yeah, I mean, I think that's so amazing to help see people who may feel unseen, you know, and I can relate to that, in a sense where having lost my dad at young age and like witnessing what my mom went through like she had experienced obesity for certain time. So I'm sure that you probably would have been great to work with her. But more importantly, like just feeling like life kept moving on. And it's like, it almost seemed as though everyone else was moving on with their lives while we grieved alone. Like we had experience it alone and individually. Like we didn't even really grieve as a family it was just go go go which, you know, that's all 20 plus years behind me at this point, and I can talk about it and I I feel like I've gone through I've done enough work to feel healed from that experience. Even so, I remember one of my friends had observed this when I was telling like the first 10 years of my life to them after losing my dad was she said, you know, it sounds like sounds like you were like disappearing. It sounds like you weren't existing anymore. Like you were just kind of going through the motions. And so you know, Part of why I podcast I believe is is my desire to humanize the military community humanize military families. And you know, give us a give us a spotlight and remind people that like this is not just soldiers or sailors or service members defending our country, there's families behind it, too, and their sacrifices that come with that. And so I think that's how, in a way, that's how I was able to like feel seen, again, is by trying to help other people feel seen. So I just say that because it's like meaningful that you that you thought of that you thought of like Salo, military widows who are maybe feel unseen, and that you're there to help them and you notice them. And I just, I commend you for that, as well, as you know, the spouses who stay behind while they're service members on deployment. Thank you. Yeah, no, my pleasure. I feel like I asked all the questions I wanted to ask, do you feel like I have asked you everything that I should ask you so far? Let's go with let's start with that. Yeah,

Michele Kostedt: 20:54

well, um, yeah. Unless you want to maybe ask me, maybe my transition? I don't know how this would come about, like, like, how I kind of fell into nurse coaching? Like what? Like, how it's different from what I have, I don't know how to answer how to ask the question. But you know, I guess what I'm trying to say is threw out all of my nursing years, my favorite part of Nursing has been relationship, like the time that we'll spend by the bedside, to put patients at ease and like, really, their anxiety. And so even though the nurse coaching part is new, I feel like this is something that I've been doing my whole career.

Jen Amos: 21:31

I not ask the question. Okay, perfect. Okay. All right. So yeah, as we continue on in our conversation, Michelle, I wanted to ask you, like, Where does this desire to focus more on the relationship side with your clients comes from, and I know that it has partly to do with the fact that you were a registered nurse. So tell us about that experience? And how kind of feels like a natural progression to be a nurse coach? Yeah, it

Michele Kostedt: 21:55

has it, I think the My favorite part of Nursing has always been the time that I've had to spend with the patient. And so early on my career, I used to be an oncology nurse. And that was one of the best times in my career, because I would have a lot of time to spend with the patients, and not only the patients, but their families. So I felt like I could really make a difference with them. And I could spend time educating and just really finding out about their family, and then is a transition to other areas of nursing, I would see patients for shorter periods of time, but I would still enjoy that time where I'd have for them right before they would you go into a procedure, they'd be anxious, and I would be able to talk to them about you know, their favorite thing to do or what they do for a living or what about their family or their dogs and just fill help to relieve their anxiety and just in that short period of time, formerly relationship, and as well as continuing to educate patients along the way. So that has been my favorite aspect of nursing throughout all the years. And now, as a nurse coach, I feel like I get to do that 100% of time. So I get to have relationships with people for much longer periods of time form that relationship go from week to week. And I think that conversations change lives. So as we go from week to week, we get a little bit deeper, each time, they feel more comfortable as me I learn more about them so that I can ask those deeper questions, I can get a little bit more insight into what they're thinking and feeling. And then that's kind of when the real shift happens is later on, we can get their mindset to shift and we can really see this successes that they've had to

Jen Amos: 23:42

Yeah, I think that's wonderful. You get to do more of what you already enjoyed, which is the relationship building the conversations like you said, it's like change can happen one conversation at a time and helping them recognize that they can do more in their own hands than maybe otherwise that they didn't realize so it sounds like you're really empowering your clients to really you know, take control of their health and do something sustainable and like I would say like like creating a new normal for their lifestyle. You know, it sounds like what you're helping them do you know week by week conversation by conversation.

Michele Kostedt: 24:15

Yes. And it's so rewarding for me to see the clients as they make that shift as their as their mindset shifts or as they have the celebrations or as they're able to get off different medications, whatever the case may be. i It brings me so much joy. So yeah,

Jen Amos: 24:33

that reminds me of a couple years ago, my mom she was diagnosed as pre diabetic and that was like the wake up call for her to take care of her health and long story short, she lost 20 pounds. She cut back on a lot of her meds. She has like her own garden in her backyard. She just eat straight from her garden, and she's living healthier and happier and it's just like I think it's almost like a miracle to know that like you can cut back on your meds. I feel that But maybe those stories aren't heard enough. And so it must be like you said, it must be really rewarding to, for you to witness that change in, you know, in your clients and that transformation. And I'm sure for them, it's very empowering for them to know that they were able to do that. Yes,

Michele Kostedt: 25:15

yes. And it's just I think it's so helpful for them to have someone by their side to help support them not to say that it can't be done without someone there. But it just I think success can happen so much faster. And to just really just get that support and encouragement and have someone from the outside looking in to help them see things that they didn't even know. They were saying, you know, sometimes just by repeating something back to them, it creates Oh, yeah, I did say that. And, and it just kind of helps to bring clarity.

Jen Amos: 25:47

Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. Well, you know, Michelle, considering how you're at the start of your business, I'm curious, like, if you were to, if we were to have a conversation a year from now, what would you have hoped would happen by then, if I check in with you a year from now with your business? Well,

Michele Kostedt: 26:03

I think a year from now, I would love to be doing this strictly full time. So I'm currently working a job in a clinic as well still as a registered nurse. So I would really love to be able to get that job up and focus on nurse coaching completely and just have a little bit more freedom in my schedule as an entrepreneur, and just feel focused. More on that.

Jen Amos: 26:25

Well, wonderful. Well, I really wish you the best, I think what you're doing is very needed. I hope that more people will be inspired to take control of their health and have the accountability and the support and the cheerleader like you to help them along that process. And yeah, with that said, I feel like I've asked everything I wanted to ask you, Michelle, any closing thoughts you want to share with our listeners, before we go,

Michele Kostedt: 26:48

I guess I would just say to follow your dreams, too. So this isn't really something I had ever dreamed that I would have done. You know if you'd asked me even three, five years ago, but as time went on, and I just done the right things fell into place. And I just started to listen to my dreams and then buy certain things like the Rosie network that really helped to make that dream of fruition. So I would just say, listen to your listen to your dreams. Listen to your body, listen to your intuition and go for it.

Jen Amos: 27:24

I love it. Well, Michelle, I think that made for such a great conversation today. I want to thank you again for joining us here on hold down the fort. Thank

Michele Kostedt: 27:31

you so much for having me. Wonderful