209: Colleen Marchi helps children overcome sleep and anxiety with The Brave Knights

Jen Amos 0:00

Music. Do you want to do more than follow orders? Think outside of the box and manifest your dreams? Then you've come to the right show. Welcome to the award winning podcast, holding down the fort by us that wealth. I'm your host, Jen Amos, a gold star, daughter, veteran, spouse and entrepreneur. For season nine, we continue our partnership with the Rosie network to highlight motivational stories of personal growth, financial awareness and autonomy in our military community. We're also excited to continue showcasing our partnership with blue water advisors. Now let's get started.

You Hey everyone, welcome back. Got a question for you, what are some bedtime rituals you have with your children to help them with sleep and anxiety? Well, Colleen Markey encourages families to have Sir William the brave knight. From the brave knights, which empowers kids to control their fears, Colleen shares her journey as a military spouse, mother and reluctant and she wanted to stress that reluctant entrepreneur, Colleen created the brave knights to help her son cope with nighttime fears during her husband's deployment. Years later, it evolved into a business aimed at helping other families. She discusses the psychology behind the brave knights kit the importance of addressing children's fears and valuing self care as a parent. Lastly, Colleen highlights her experience with the Rosie network's service to CEO program and offers advice for aspiring military, connected entrepreneurs, reluctant entrepreneurs. Colleen, it was such a pleasure having you on our show. I want to remind you all that, in addition to the podcast, you can watch our YouTube interview of Colleen, and if you want to get a hold of her, go ahead and check out the show notes of this episode. This is episode 209, you can check on your preferred podcast that you're listening to right now, or visit our website. Hold on the fort podcast.com and if you're listening to this at the time that this episode has been released, it'll be the first episode on the top of the page. Hold on the fort podcast.com, otherwise you can go in the search bar and type in the numbers 209, that's episode 209 to get her episode and get access to the show notes. Thanks so much. And enjoy this conversation with Colleen. All right, so we have Colleen Markey with the brave knights. Colleen, welcome to holding down the ports by us, but Well,

Speaker 1 3:01

thank you so much for having me. Jenna, I really appreciate this great opportunity. Yes,

Jen Amos 3:06

and I have to say that coming for us. You know, it's been taking some time to coordinate this, so I'm just really grateful to have finally caught you in your busyness of a schedule.

Speaker 1 3:16

Yeah, you know how it goes. It's being a entrepreneur and a military spouse. My husband's now a veteran, but the caretaker responsibilities of the rest of my family and everything and don't seem to slow down. But I think that's our strength, I guess, is juggling all the balls and keeping them in the air at all times. So I appreciate your flexibility.

Jen Amos 3:34

Oh, absolutely. And I, as I was saying to you, offline, if there's anything I've learned in the 200 plus episodes of interviewing people in the military community. It's that you have to be flexible. No choice but being flexible. So speaking of which, I know you hinted a little bit of what's going on your life, why don't you share with our audience? First thing that comes to mind, what keeps you busy or excited nowadays about life?

Speaker 1 3:58

Well, my children, so I actually came up with my product that we're going to talk about here to talk about here in a second for my son when he was young, but my children now are teenagers, and when he's 18, headed off to college, going to Citadel military college, so he's going to Army ROTC. So it's a huge transition in my life that's been keeping me very busy. And my youngest son is 17, about to be a senior and in high school, and so it's just a whole different transition, as it was for my husband to transition from army into retirement. So it's like it's constant change going on right now in our life, and it's exciting and scary and all of the things all at once. So we're kind of trying to just get a hold of everything and soak in all those memories and moments that

Jen Amos 4:41

we get so and busy. Yeah, it sounds like it. I mean, as long as everyone still has has all their body parts intact, I feel like that's a good thing. They're still alive and kicking, and they're still saying to an extent, yeah,

Speaker 1 4:54

yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's been an exciting season for us, but but emotional. Yeah, oh, I

Jen Amos 5:01

bet. I bet it's a mixed bag of emotions, for sure. Speaking of which, you mentioned that your youngest is 17 now, and I have to say that just blows my mind, like knowing what I know about your business, which we'll get to here in a second, I know that it's been a long journey with your youngest son, and also with the creation of the brave knights. So why don't we go back in time. Speaking of your youngest son, it actually blows my mind to think that he is already 17, considering how the brave knights started with him when he was young. So tell us that story of how the brave knights came to be and how it was really not intended to be a business. It was really like intended to just sleep better. All right, yeah, so

Speaker 1 5:46

my youngest son really was doing great, and then all of a sudden, just hit that age where most kids go to get a little bit more aware of the world and outside of their family. And it happened at time and coincide with my husband's deployment, and he was just missing his favorite protector. He was scared at night, every night, and I was trying everything to keep everything going. We have three boys, and my other two never really had such a huge problem with this. So it was kind of new territory to me. My background is in psychology. I've been a school counselor and work with kids a therapist. This was all new to me for my own son. And so I was going, Okay, let me work through the problem and help him. And everything I tried, nothing was working. It started to happen just at nighttime, where he wanted me to stay with him longer, and trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, then I start spilling over into daytime. So drop off sets, poor, hard, every little you know, visit to the park, making sure he was checking on me. And I knew that life filled with anxiety was not a life I wanted for him, and I saw it grow. And so we tried everything, and my husband was so frustrated not being able to fix the problem for us, and I was trying to keep it kind of quiet for him, but he could see how exhausted it was. And I started to have anxiety over nighttime, like the sun would go down and I would feel that like, Oh, I know it's coming more sleepless nights. So one day, I dropped off my boys at school, and our kindergarten teacher kind of saw me, like, really saw me, and she pulled me aside and said, Are you okay? And I was like, 100% not okay. And, um, so I went into the bathroom to have like, a slow, quiet moment by myself, and there was a sign, and it said, tonight, when you go to bed, give your troubles and worries to Mom, don't worry, she'll be up. And I was like, I don't want to be I was just like a funny little poster somebody put up. And so I thought, What do I do when I need to give up something and I need to just not stress and ruminate over it and let it perseverate my head? And I was like, I need to find something tangible for him to give those worries to and feel safe and protected. And I wanted him to feel autonomous and confident and connected to something. And so going home, and I dressed up as Little Bear and our brave knights, our first little brave, nice costume, and I picked him up and I told him, you know, you're going to get to give up your worries tonight to somebody, and he's going to stand guard and protect you. And my son finally looked at me and was like, Thank you, woman, like I've been telling you that there's been something coming in my room to scare me, and I kept telling him, fine, you're saying he knows we do is like trying to just solve the problem for him, and all he wanted to do was be heard, and he wanted to feel safe and feel secure and protected in his own little room, in his bed. And the first little flashlight we made was a rudimentary one with just like a little cross, and he would shine it under the wall or, you know, under the bed and in the closet. And it's grown then into the tale of brave knights. Every night, my boys would snuggle up and ask me, where did the brave knight come from? What did they do and what training did they go through? And it grew just organically through their excitement over this little guy that would protect them. And we slept, and it was amazing, peaceful and just a beautiful solution to sleepless nights for our family.

Jen Amos 8:47

I'm curious. Considering how you were a former school counselor, how would you say your background influenced helping your son

Speaker 1 8:57

so much, so much, because so many families I knew were just and we talked about it, you know, we'd go drop off the kids, and moms don't go for a walk or hang out, go get a cup of coffee, and they all kind of talk about and complain, like, oh, sleeplessness is just a thing you have to deal with as a parent. And I knew the one thing that I had learned is just being a mom, but also being a military spouse, was that was my only time I got to myself, and I needed it. I needed the restoration, and I knew the long term benefits of sleep and how proper sleep hygiene helped. So for me, I just kept rejecting that idea that just because you're a parent, you have to give up sleep. That just seemed like something that I knew was counterintuitive to, you know, proper mental mental health. So when we tried different things that were out there and talking through things with him and nothing was working. I knew that I had at least the skills to kind of come up with something. I knew what he needed. I knew the three things that he needed was that autonomy, to feel like he could do something on his own, because they're at that stage when they're when they're like in, you know, late toddlerhood, early early childhood. Of like, want to do it myself. They want to be I knew he needed to feel confident and like, I did it mommy, that was like, the best feeling that they did when they could do something. And I knew he needed to have a connection to something. And so those three things were forefront of my mind when I was coming up with this. Even though I was exhausted, I was like, okay, when I make something for him, he needs to have these three things so that it's not just, here's another little lovey stuffy that you can hold at night, because that get a million of those. He had fish, yeah, here's your fish that are gonna keep you safe. And he needed to, needed a buy in. He needed to know that there was something behind it and it so it really is backed in in science and backed in psychology. It's not just another adorable teddy bear. It's a toy with a purpose. There's a real, real reason behind this and why it works. And so it was instrumental in creating this,

Jen Amos: 10:48

yeah, and and also from a mental health standpoint, you know, I love that in order for you to take care of your sons and your family, you needed to find a way to take care of yourself. And I often hear, you know, I'm not a parent myself. I'm for a parent. But I don't know if that counts. But, like, I often hear amongst parents that there's a struggle of being self sacrificial, like, it's almost like synonymous to being a parent is being self sacrificial. So can you speak on that topic of maybe the double edged sword of that, like, it's probably more health harmful than it is helpful as a parent to be self sacrificial.

: 11:22

It is that's probably the hardest thing, and I struggle with it. I am in my family, my entire family. I'm everybody's everything right. I'm the one, even to my fur baby, my dog, woke me up last night at 3am to go potty. Not my husband. She knew what was right. She knew who would help her right. She knew it would wake up. So it's so common as a woman, I think, to do that, and as a mom, but as a parent, to give that up. And for me, it's it's a really struggle to find that balance. But sleep is the one thing I was I knew that if I had to give everything during the day to, you know, my family, that I needed to have one little piece that I could carve out for me. And so for me, that balance was my nighttime. My nighttimes were sacred of even if it's only six or seven hours. I need that time to reset and restore. And we had talked a little bit before about dementia and other things, but there's so many benefits that come for physical health through your sleep, and I knew it. I knew that it was mood. I knew that it was productivity for me during the day. I knew that it was that same thing for my children. And so while I may struggle being able to prioritize myself during the day and give up things that I should be doing for my kids, I knew at night, but one thing I could not give up was I couldn't function on lack of sleep. I was balls were falling, right? We have a jug while we talked about this before, how many balls were falling? And my biggest concern was, if this is what I'm going through, imagine at four or five years old, trying to function and develop interpersonal relationships for the first time and learn to share when you're so tired and so cranky, and so I think that's the hardest balance for us. As a parent, put my child in front of me at all costs, but then find one thing that I can do, and sometimes it's a walk, and sometimes it's sleep, and sometimes this, and it changes, but in every stage of our life. But I'm a huge, huge proponent of that for our kids, we talk so often about our customer, right? Everyone always ask, when you're an entrepreneur, who's your target customer? Well, we don't get everybody. We don't think of her as a target customer. We think of her as the main character in a story. Because, let's face it, moms are the main character in everybody's story, and we talk about that, about how she's willing to give up everything for her kids. How do we help her and let her feel like a success for her family, and give her a little bit of herself back? How do we help that main character in that story? And in turn, she's helping her family, which makes her feel great.

Jen Amos: 13:45

So yeah, it's great to have you as a resource. To be in a mother's corner and say, Hey, we got you. We can help delegate some of the things that you have to deal with, so that, at least in this case, you can actually get some sleep. Yep,

: 13:58

yeah, yeah. It's huge that that's like, my biggest win is when I hear mom daily, my child finally slept. And I'm That, to me, is worth every single struggle that we've been through since I came up with this to now where we are now. It's been amazing. So,

Jen Amos: 14:11

yeah, actually, I was looking at your Amazon reviews for your product, and that was the key thing that pointed out to me, was the whole family is sleeping again.

: 14:22

It's huge. I mean, I you know what it's like when you get a night's sleep and you just feel like a different person. It is such a gift to be able to give that to people, and that we were so sweet and cuddly, and helps during the daytime and all of that. And they go on adventures together, and they help kids with at one little girl who sent me the mom sent me a video she got her ears pierced because she got sir Williams ears pierced. So her little brave night went in and got his ears pierced and was brave. And so it's been been an amazing thing to be able to see that confidence and that empowerment they spread through. Yeah, and doctors visits and brave knights have gotten their teeth cleaned. It's

Jen Amos: 14:57

been it's been fun. Yeah, it's amazing how that safety that the brave knight can give at night has bled into other aspects of the child's life, like they're able to practice autonomy and self sufficiency and confidence, because they're able to do that in one area and it bleeds into other areas. So I think that's wonderful.

: 15:17

Yeah, thank you, and that's cool. We want to create a little magical kingdom for kids to go where they feel. It's like, free of fear, and it's strong and empowerment. And I think that when you learn to conquer one little thing, whether it's tying your shoes, sleeping in your bed, going down this big slide, whatever it is, then all of a sudden you're like, that's a learned behavior. I can do that. I can do something bigger. And that's how we grow and become empowered and confident, and it's been, it's been fun to see. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 15:43

well, I'm very curious to know about the psychology behind the brave knights kit. So what walk us through what people get in the kit and the intention behind each item.

: 15:54

So our brave knights kit comes with three items, and they're all designed to help children identify what's whatever's bothering them, those fears address them and ultimately overcome them, and they work in three simple steps. So this is our little brave knight, Sir William, and he's so sweet, and his little hood comes so nighttime, you kind of put the hood up and on, and he's ready for duty to report to dirty and protect that room and keep him safe. And then daytime, the hood can come off, and they can take him on adventures and go to grandma's house and go to the doctor and all sort of fun stuff. So he kind of a ritual of that. And so they give up their words to him, and he stays on guard to protect their room and keep them safe all night long. And so it's nice. It's like a battle buddy, right for the little one in there, and honestly, for the parent, because someone else was on duty, and they get to clock off for a few hours, and next comes our storybook. So it's beautifully illustrated. We have this gorgeous illustrator come in and bring the brave knights to life, and it tells the tale of the brave knights, and it tells how it helps, and it goes through the story of how we can help little prince or princess kind of feel safe in the room. And at the back of the book, there's a personalized knighting ceremony, and so that further connects and bonds and creates that attachment. So the family gathers around, and you go through this sweet little ritual of like knighting the little prince or princess, and Sir William pledges his loyalty and love and devotion to that little prince or princess. So they feel so brave and connected and strong and in the brave knights little universe. And then lastly comes the projecting flashlight. This is the magic. So it comes in pink or blue, and it shines eight different images on the walls, under the bed, in the closet, clearing the room of anything scary. So this is where the empowerment comes from. First, they give up their worries, then they feel connected to the brave knights. And this is the empowerment where they feel that they're a part of clearing a room of any of those nightmares or scary shadows or things that might play tricks on them. And it helps kids kind of in the driver's seat, and feeling controlled rather than fear overwhelms us and lets us feel vulnerable and empowerment feel strong and like you can handle everything. And so that projecting flashlight is probably the favorite piece, the teddy bear goes with them everywhere. The story is very sweet, but that projecting flashlight is the piece that really differentiates us from every other sweet little teddy bear. Is it really gives kids control.

Jen Amos: 18:11

Yeah, I just love the entire process of, like, having the teddy bear and I like the hoodie, like putting the hoodie on and then taking it off, like, it's like, that transitional moment of like, Okay, we're gonna go to bed, or, okay, it's the daytime. I think, just the physical act of having your brave night with you, and then, like you said, the flashlight. I mean, wow. What an empowering, simple piece of equipment, or of a weapon, to have at night. And I just love the the options of different, like, lights it'll show like, on the wall. And I'm curious about, like, the designs. Like, what? How did you decide? Like, oh, we can switch the designs of how the light portrays onto this, onto the wall. Like, tell us about that.

: 18:56

It was a fun experience, because our Illustrator's phenomenal. His name is Bert Faraj. He is a video game designer, which we knew, because eventually that is our goal, is to kind of be able to branch into something. So we searched for him, and he was really helpful in this. So I would come up with these ideas. I'm a terrible artist, but I would sketch something incentive to be like, This is what I want. And he was like, he has young children too. And so he really understood it. So he would come back. So we have all these amazing sketches back and forth between us, of like, what about this? So there's some of like, Sir William and the little superhero pose on there. There's some of all the brave knights. So we have a family of brave knight that I've kind of created so that there's future growth, if we're ready to expand into that. There's one of him with a halt, with his hands, kind of, so some kids want to put that up there where it's like, one more sign of like, Don't come in here. And so there's eight different images, and children really get to pick the one they want and what they're feeling. And it's just that fun ritual before bed, of like, clear the room, get into bed, feel safe and go to sleep. It's no different than somebody going through and saying to hell. That front door, let me go check that light is off. And I hear a lot of parents saying, Gosh, I wish I would have had that when I was a kid. I would run down the hallway and jump into bed. This would have been a much more calming routine. And it's settling for the kids, and it puts a finite period to it, because the kids are worried at night that bedtime routine can stretch and grow. And this is like, Oh, we cleared the room. We're ready to go. Sir Williams on duty. I'm gonna go to bed. And they just feel connected and safe and protected.

Jen Amos: 20:25

And, yeah, yeah, I just love that. I was thinking before we hopped on I was like, You know what used to make me scared of the dark when I was younger? For me, it was nightmares, like I would just wake up in the middle of the night. I would have these dreams where I was like, running from something, or I like, fell through something, and then I'd wake up, like kicking, and then I'm just suddenly awake, and I had to, you know, try to self soothe myself. But it was like a shocking experience, you know. And so just the thought of, even if your kids wake up from a nightmare, to know that the brave night, you know, Sir William, will be there, you know, I think must be incredibly reassuring for them. Yes,

: 21:03

it is. That's been the neatest part for me, is that kids have a nightmare, and my son's nightmare happened to be a dinosaur coming in. I and I kept saying, you know, there's, there's no dinosaur now, yeah, yeah, because he had seen some advertisement for something, you know, we hadn't seen, like, Jurassic Park or anything he was, he was like, four years old, but he'd seen an advertisement somewhere, right? And it scared him, and that was his nightmare. And it kept being like, Your room's like work, but it was like, Daddy's not here. And what if a dinosaur? Yeah, I cannot believe I'm arguing over like, a dinosaur coming to your room. But it for him, it was so real and so true, because he would go to bed and he would think so then as soon as they gave him something where he was like, see now, no dinosaurs, and it was almost like I needed to sit there and validate that a little bit. And as an adult, you just want to go, Oh, it's fine. Come on, let's go. And the reality is, he wanted to be heard, and he wanted to feel that permission to feel that emotion, and it's okay to be scared and and that happened, we just need to figure out, how do we get past it? How do we give that up, instead of sitting in it? And that was the biggest piece that as an exhausted mom and just trying to hold it all together, I was missing for a minute. I really missed a lot of that. Yeah, so, like, kind of said, You know what? That is scary. That must be really frightening for you, tell me, you know. And he was like, thank you. Like, he wanted to share what it felt like for him. So

Jen Amos: 22:22

yeah, I mean, in his world, it was the scariest thing. He thought it was gonna actually happen, a dinosaur was gonna come in the room. And, you know, even through your exhaustion, you put yourself in his shoes, and you thought, you know what in his little world, like this was the biggest, scariest thing in it. And so I just love how you sit with that and allow him to feel what he feels, and acknowledging that. There's a quote I heard before, I'm going to butcher it, but it goes something like, people just want to be seen, heard and understood. You know, they don't need to be fixed, they don't need to be told what to do. They just need to be seen as they are. They need to feel seen. And so I think it's so great that you saw that as a parent, and then you have the book, and then you have the brave knights. And to be able to transfer that reassurance from you as a mother to the brave knight, it's revolutionary, I'm sure, for the entire family. It

: 23:10

was, and it took me a minute, and that quote is exactly what I got to was, No, that's exactly what it was. Because for the longest time, it was weeks, and I was like, you're fine. Like, I just need to go to bed. Come on, you'd be brave. Like it was, like, it was showing everything. And finally, I was like, like, I was so in it that I couldn't, you know, it's kind of, if you use, like, the military thing. I was in the middle of that battle, and I was like, I need to take a step back and see that there is a plan out of here. I can't just keep looking one step in front, because I'm not getting anywhere. And I Yeah, gosh, I gotta look at the broader picture. And that was it. It was that silly little sign that thought I need to give him what I would need, right as seen. I want to be heard. I just and that teacher gave that to me. She looked at me and asked me, and I was like, Wow. It was just this sweet moment that kind of connected everything for me. And who went home and made that based on that quote, basically not realizing it, but that same thing of like, let me let him feel what he's feeling, let me tell him it's okay. And that must be scary and just validated, and it seems silly, but we just often brush over that for our kids, like, you'll be fine. Just hop in the car. You'll be fine. You should be like, Oh yeah, and you're tired and but yeah, no, I love that so much.

Jen Amos: 24:19

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's great to instill that at a young age, because then you end up like someone like me, who like when they get to the 30s and they finally seek out therapy and they have to unpack all these things from their childhood. So I'm curious, now that your son is 17, have you seen how that practice of autonomy at a young age has translated to who he is today. Yes,

: 24:44

I think the brave knights worked a little bit too much. He is not afraid of much. He wants to go into the military, probably going army as well. I mean, definitely military, but most likely army. And wants to follow his father's footsteps into SF and. I laugh and joke all the time where he does these crazy things, and I'm like, Maybe it worked too well, but he wants to build another country, which I appreciate. I appreciate his desire to serve. And so, you know, service above above self is huge in our family. It's woven into our business. It's woven into our every little inch and fabric of our family. And I appreciate that, but I do see he has gone through he had some real serious medical stuff, but he was young past this point when he wasn't sleeping in, like his middle childhood and well, great nights were with him when we went to appointments and in the hospitals and stuff. But the confidence he came where he didn't run from fear. He would say, okay, I can do this. And we would talk about it, and how do we get through it? And it was just those little building blocks that we learned from the simple little thing of, like, not being afraid of a dinosaur being strong enough to know that we could keep ourselves safe too. Now he knows he makes really smart, calculated decisions, and he's a very critical thinker, and he's a great sleeper,

Jen Amos: 25:51

yeah, most of all,

: 25:54

he's a great sleeper. And he is, like six new and a big, strong guy, and I laugh at the little pictures of him, you know, little like chubby people fear in his little eyes and his little bottom left quivering over get your jammies on Cooper and fear would wash him. And now I we met a very inspiring guy, not to Lo and CO, and we laughed and, you know, military SF. And he said, I think your bear, your bear might have done too much for this one. And I was like laughing about it, but I love them. I love that He has that confidence in himself. Now, it's been great to see and it the lessons he learned at a young age, I think, has carried through. And my my older children, who didn't have that fear at nighttime, still love their brave nights and brought them into things that. So we talk about it now about get comfortable being uncomfortable. It's okay, seal it, and then let's find a plan and path through it, instead of just sitting in it. And that's been a big message for them, because, you know, yeah, during life, can throw those challenges at you, and you got to be okay, to pivot and be uncomfortable and then go this too will pass. You're gonna miss this one little season. We'll get through it. So,

Jen Amos: 26:56

yeah, yeah. I think when we think about, like, this trust response, like, fight, flight, freeze or fun, the last thing you want to do in the military is freeze like that's just incredibly detrimental. So to be able to teach how to respond to a stressful, you know, anxiety driven, fearful situation, I mean, that's everything that translates to life for sure. And so I'm just glad to hear that it worked too well for your son that he's self sufficient, he's a critical thinker, and most of all, he wants to follow in his father's footsteps. Yeah, yeah.

: 27:28

It's been, it's been neat to see. It's funny. If you could have asked me, then what I thought he would have done under it, you know, it's, you don't think about it more literally. And now I look back and think, oh my goodness, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jen Amos: 27:41

Well, speaking of your husband, I know that your husband actually was a huge catalyst to making brave knights into a business. So let's go back to that time when you didn't wake up and say, I want to be an entrepreneur. You know, like this was really just out of a desire to help your son and your family sleep better. So let's go back to that time.

: 28:02

Yeah, so I always say I'm kind of a reluctant entrepreneur. This was not I meet so many powerhouse entrepreneurs, and honestly, mostly female that I am blown away by. They've had this driven vision of like, this is what I want to do, and that's a master's in psychology. I am a coach for softball, and I'm a collegiate softball coach, this has just not been on my radar at all. I had all at all, at all. So when it worked, when I created the brake lights and it worked, and we slept, my husband immediately was like, This is amazing. You should do something with it. And, of course, so supportive and so sweet. And I was like, that's fine. We're sleeping. That's enough. That's that's a winwin for me, yeah. And we started making it for friends and family, and he kind of kept being in the back of my ear, like you should do something. And I was used to being the support system in her family, and the kind of behind the scenes and which I was happy with that role, and I loved it. I just didn't think I had, I guess, the skills that I needed. And honestly, the funny thing, based on what we were just talking about, the fear of failure, was my biggest thing is this little product had been so sweet for me and brought such a gift to my family of sleep and peace that I was so afraid that I wouldn't do it justice and it would fail and it would break my heart. And so that fear held me back, that fear of like leaning into this and trying something new and bold that I'd never done. And so we talked about it. He would come home from work, and we would put the kids to bed sleeping, and we would talk about this as an idea, and it was always in the back of my mind. And he brought home Stephanie Brown, so with Rosie network, was speaking years ago in our area, and he found it online and printed off a piece of paper with her picture on it, and brought it home. And he was, this is an amazing entrepreneur. I read about her, you should go and listen or talk, and you should try to talk to her. And I immediately was like, Oh my gosh. Now, no, no. Like, she's awesome, but like, what is she gonna talk? Like, yeah, we're gonna Oprah. Like, that's ridiculous. I'm not he kept going, you should do you should do it. And it didn't work out anyway, with our schedule where I could get in, but it kept her. Photo on my desk, and it was always one of those things where I would think about and I would say, Gosh, I don't know. Can I do it? And I would look at it, I would look her up, and I would do some research, and I was like, I don't know. And then finally, I read a book one day, wearing burns and ooble with my boys in the children's book section, and I read this book about what to do with an idea, and it's so sweet and so touching, and it's about this little idea. It's like a little egg, and it grows and it grows and it's like sometimes you have an idea and you shove it inside and you keep it hidden because you're afraid of what will happen. But if you feed it and nourish it, it could grow, and it could grow into this great thing, and it's going to follow you everywhere, and one day, it could grow into something that might change somebody's life. And I was in the Barnes and Noble, and I was my boy snuggled in my lap, and I was like crying, going, okay, universe, I get I get it, secret idea that I've had and I've been working on. And I went home, and I sat down at my desk, and Stephanie's picture was right there. And I was like, that's it. And that was my first day. Then I made the call to find somebody to help mentor me through this, and find a designer who could help me create from what I had created, this little rudimentary teddy bear into what the brave brains are now, and it took a long time. It the sleep that my boys had at night, those those hours of sleep that they had at night, gave me the time to actually create the brave night and bring it to existence. And I started to write and write the book, and I started to design the flashlight, and we just had to learn with my husband, how to bring great products from nothing and bring them here. Yeah, launch a website, and the help with the Rosi network has been instrumental. We would not be where we were today. We went through service to CEO. Was the first program we went through to kind of learn all of the things we needed to know. Was like our MBA was through Rosie network service to CEO, and their support has been amazing. And at our graduation, I got to talk to Stephanie Brown and tell her the story about how she has been with me from the very beginning until when we graduated from that and it's been such a special experience. I'm so thankful for her and the guidance that Rosi network has been given to us.

Jen Amos: 31:55

It fills my heart to to hear that, because I think what makes the services CEO program so unique is it's very hands on. And I've spoken to other graduates who, you know, they'll start with a big class of other cohort members, and within weeks, it shrinks very quickly. So the fact that you stuck it out all the way and actually applied it, and you know, you're very involved in it. It wasn't just, you weren't just showing up to learn about entrepreneurship, 101, it was like, Okay, we're gonna do this. I've had Stephanie's photo for quite some time now, yes, so I think it's about time, yeah. And I just think it's a beautiful thing to hear. And, you know, credit to your husband for having recommended to you, oh, so many years ago, and I do recall from your showcase that at the time, and I'm actually maybe you can tell me, because with the pitch deck, I imagine that they teach you how to ask for funding. And so how did that turn out for you? That video like, were you able to use your pitch deck your Showcase to potential investors?

: 33:00

Yes. So that was the first time I kind of created a pitch deck. I learned our value proposition, we created our mission statement. It was like actionable thing that we did through sort of studio. It was not just time. I've been through other kind of programs where sometimes it just feels like it's filler. This was I actually created my pitch deck, and it's morphed and ground, but I have used that pitch deck in so many different pitch competitions. I just competed in love it through ROS network it, you know, gave me the lead on it. I just, they send out stuff to everybody, and I ended up coming in fourth and getting some funding just two weeks ago. Congrats. Thank you. I won the Military influencer entrepreneur pitch competition at the military influencer conference in 2022 when I've been able to get into warrior risings Academy and make it through to top five and pitch there. So I've pitched now in just on screens in front of people, virtually. I've pitched in rooms of 1000s of people, hundreds of people, pitched in live audience with judges panel right there, in a shark tank, kind of like situation, all because it came from the pitch deck that I first created in service to CEO, and so it's been I we would not be here. We would not have received any funding or anything if I hadn't been through that. That was from the first photo that my husband brought home to him, saying, hey, here serve as a CEO. You need to apply and try to get in it to our first pitch deck, to all the funding. It would not be possible without, without the support and help from the Rosie network, for sure, 100% Wow.

Jen Amos: 34:25

Well, that's a big shout out to the team there at the Rosie network. And you know, my my husband, he was part of the, one of the first cohorts, I think, back in 2016 2017 and it definitely wasn't what it is today. So it's just so great to hear how applicable it is, you know, and how you come out of it as refined as you can be as a new entrepreneur. And I just want to say kudos to all your success and how you keep putting yourself out there, which I did want to ask about that because I was looking at one of the Amazon reviews. News, and someone was talking about how they found you on Amazon, like they were trying to just do a desperate act of finding something to help their kids sleep. So tell us about the marketing side. I mean, clearly you've been impressed in many various ways, and you've been pitching brave knights for some time, but tell us your strategy to to get in front of people, and especially the right people.

: 35:19

It's been hard. I mean, we've had to learn and change and grow and adapt with our marketing strategy and social media. Luckily, our target, our main character, our target audience, is moms, so we try to get another of them with our social media presence. So that video is so touching that we got through a service CEO graduation that was it's amazing. It's very poignant. We have moms, and they're actual customers of ours, true stories of mom's accounts, which I think is the best, most authentic way, is to show a mom to a mom, telling about it. We try to just be very honest about it, showing that this is backed in science. There's real psychology behind it, and how it can help. But we're learning and growing and pivoting. It's been really organic. We have not done any paid advertising or social media. We probably just don't have the budget for it. It would be fantastic if I did, but marketing can be really expensive through that. So we're growing small but steady, and thank goodness for the ability to reach moms with their phone right? And word of mouth has been huge military base and other we're big in the military community, but often our customers that find us on Amazon are just civilian families who are struggling right now. It's up to 50% of young children suffer with sleep issues, according to the CDC. It's really, it really is a epidemic for our kids right now. And so there are a ton of moms out there. It's just a matter of trying to find them and get that information there. So, yeah, yeah, big task,

Jen Amos: 36:37

yeah. And, you know, I think we underestimate the power of word of mouth marketing, you know? I mean, if it's free, it's for me, right? And the the fact that people can especially satisfied customers, I think having satisfied customers talk about your product is so much more impactful than, you know, maybe just an ad and so. But nonetheless, I know that marketing is an ongoing thing. It's kind of like keeping a fire alive, and you have to put, like, wood in it every now and then to keep it good. It going. So it sounds like you're continuously doing that. I mean, hence why you're here chatting with me today. Yeah. And so I just think it's interesting to always ask that. Because, you know, I think the last thing that a lot of entrepreneurs think is they have this great idea, they want to implement it, but then now you have to sell it. Now you have to put it out there, and you have to keep putting it out there. It's not just the one and done, like you may have been featured in something, but you know, just like with any like news site, eventually it gets lost in the noise of other news. And so you have to keep going out there. And so it's great to hear that you are continuously doing that while being a mom, while being a wife, and just everything that comes with the life that you live like I'm incredibly, incredibly present in awe of of your work. Colleen, thank

: 37:47

you. I appreciate it's a hustle. It is a hustle. And I remind myself every day, you know that I could do hard things. I do it every day. I could do hard things. This was one more hard thing. And you know, when I first had that, can I do this? Am I afraid to fail? I was like, I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna feel like I do and everything I fail at a ma as being a mom, I feel like being a wife, sometimes I fail at all a daughter. We follow these things, but I also succeed. They needed to remind myself of it, right? There's nothing in life is worth it if you don't have some failure to overcome something, nothing good's ever gonna come easy. And so every time that we run into a little bit of a wall, I remind myself, all right, that's the failure that I need. That's that I need. That's that roadblock that's going to push me so we can succeed, and that's what keeps me going. It sometimes feels like you're in a treadmill and you're not going anywhere, and other times you're like, Oh, I got my stride, and things are going good, and it's a long process, but I remind myself that I'm going to fail and succeed, usually, every day in some part of this, and I just have to kind of keep going and keep putting one foot in front of the other, and know that if it helps one family, one child, sleep and feel confident, brave and one in the arm, feel like she has a battle buddy with her, then I'll push through a little bit. One more step, one more step. I can do it. You know?

Jen Amos: 38:52

Yeah, I love that. I love the baby steps that you tell yourself. And I could definitely relate on how like being self employed. It sometimes feels like you're just on a hamster wheel and you're not going anywhere. And like you have a whole day, like I'll have a whole day where I've clocked in all these hours, and I'm like, did I even accomplish anything? So I just commend you for your commitment, for your hustle. It's not easy being an entrepreneur, let alone a reluctant one, you know, one that didn't plan on being an entrepreneur to begin with. So that being said, I wanted to ask you, for you know, any aspiring military connected entrepreneur that you know wants to take that leap or inquire, what do you want to say to them? I want

: 39:34

to say you could do hard things. You can do this, and I think we're uniquely qualified for this role, and they wish I would have given myself that credit kind of before of all the things that we handle, I don't think that there's any group of people who are more qualified to be able to be an entrepreneur than someone military, connected because of just all the change and the pivots and the ability to handle things that are out of your control and roll with it and succeed. It's amazing. I was initially. We first started, and I finally got the confidence to do this. So many people I would reach out to who were not military, connected. Often, they were older male entrepreneurs, business people that I knew, and they they painted a picture where my sweet little teddy bear became Chucky and ruined my life. In fact, multiple of them, they were in the toy industry. So multiple of them, let's say, like you have a nice life. You're, you know, your husband's got a good job, right? Why do you want to do this? And I listened to it for a minute, right? And it was like, and I was like, Now, whenever anybody talks to me and they say, Oh, just like, do it. Nobody be more passionate about this than you will be. Do it. Believe in yourself. Believe in your product. Believe in what you can do and you can accomplish it. And I love it. When an entrepreneur, someone who has just in the ideation phase, comes to me and like, do it. What could? How can I help you? What could? Here's the fools I went through. Here's this. And I think a rising tide lifts all boats. When someone succeeds, they help someone else and pay it forward. And I never give a message of, don't do it. I explain it's gonna be hard, and here's the things we'll watch out for. But oh my goodness, like to see someone else succeed. There's no greater joy than to watch someone accomplish something that they you know, that's just to me, is what kind of helps, and I think, again, it's at service to others. And I think that's why our community is so strong in entrepreneurship, and I love to see that, especially the military spouses, veterans. I know a ton of veteran entrepreneurs just through this process, and they have a much larger network, because there's so many more natural entrepreneurs out there than military spouses. But we're growing. And Stephanie Brown had just watched yesterday, she posted something about being in front of Congress talking about this. It's amazing just it's a small but mighty and we're growing, and we're doing outrageously cool things, and it's neat to see our community kind of get the recognition it needs and grow, because I just think that people are going to be amazed by what we can offer. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 41:47

I mean, ditto to everything you said. I just think about my own upbringing as a military kid to now being with my veteran husband and having worked in the military space, and I think that the military community just feels like home. It feels like the community that keeps on giving. Because, like you said, there's that service oriented mindset, and it's not that easy to find so much in the civilian world, you know, not not a knock in the civilian world, but more so, just an observation, like, where I feel more drawn to, you know. So thank you for just saying all that. And I hope that for any spouse or any person affiliated with the military who may feel like they cannot do something, I think you just really nailed it to pointing out what are our strengths. Like we do have this ability because we're adaptable. We have this ability to be an entrepreneur. We have the traits. We just have to be told that we have it and, you know, go for it and see what's possible. And obviously the Rosie network is a great place to to get started with that. Yeah,

: 42:46

and there's so many resources out there now, so much. Even just since we started, it's fantastic to see the support and resources. So join a group, seek out, talk to people, reach out on social media, to another military spouse, entrepreneur, veteran entrepreneur, and I've never had one in our military community through any social media LinkedIn ever not get back to you. It is this sweet community that lifts each other up and so reach out, try something. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 43:14

I love that. Well, Colleen, I I asked everything I wanted to ask you, I feel like we had a very holistic conversation today. So any final thoughts or anything else I should be asking you before we go? No, just

: 43:27

if any of your listeners know anyone who has a child or grandchild who's struggling with sleep, please tell them to check us out. You can find us on Amazon, unspousely on our website, magic order. Bravenights.com we donate a portion of all of our proceeds to the Steven seller tunnel towers foundation that helps other Gold Star family members like our own. I'm a gold star sister, and this foundation is phenomenal. We knew we wanted to give back as part of our business since the very beginning, and we've been donating to them even when we weren't making profit. We're still donating to them the months that we are making profit. You know, it didn't matter. It was something really near and dear to our heart to help out other Gold Star family members, and just remember that great days start with great nights.

Jen Amos: 44:06

Love it well. Colleen, thank you again for your time. I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation today here at holding on the Forge by us. Fe, well, thanks again.

: 44:14

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate this. So much. My pleasure. You

Jen Amos: 44:23

Hey there. This is your host, Jen Amos, thanks again for listening to today's episode of holding down the fort by us. Fetwell, visit holding on the fort podcast.com to access the full show notes of this episode, including resources mentioned and bonus content. Once again, the website is holding down the fort podcast.com Lastly, stay after the outro for a little something extra. Thanks again, and chat soon. Bye for now you. Oh.

All right, everyone, welcome. Thanks for hanging out in the outro. I'll give you a fun fact. I don't actually know what I'm talking about until it's the outro. I don't actually know what I'm going to talk about until I'm actually here. And I gotta say, it was really nice speaking with Colleen. She actually fun fact. She actually was supposed to join us for last year. I think it was like last year, the last fall season. And you know, life be life in because that's the military. And fortunately, we were able to actually bring her on here for the fall season. So really, really enjoyed having her, I gotta tell you, like looking up the brave knights, looking up Sir William the teddy bear. I would say that. You know, this is definitely something I would want for my own kids. So if you haven't checked it out already, make sure you check out our website. It's in the show notes of this episode. But you could also just go to magical order of bravenights.com Check that out. Magical order of bravenights.com and it's super cute, and I was just reading all the reviews on it, and just really loved seeing parents who were just so grateful to have an ally, to have a partner, you know, to have a teammate in helping their child sleep better at night. And that's it. That's all I have to say. Of course, if you want any bonus material from holding down the fort, if you care to hear what I have to talk about at all, you know anything about the show, about the journey of producing a podcast, of my entrepreneurial journey, you're more than welcome to join our free portal, which is holding down the fort podcast.com, forward slash portal, and there you'll get access to our free private podcast inside the fort, where it's what it sounds it's inside the fort, it's what goes on in Jen's head in producing the show. And I think it's great for people who are interested in podcasting or are also aspirational entrepreneurs looking for inspiration. I love that. Anyway, I'm just laughing at myself. Wow. Okay, thanks for listening, and we'll chat with you in the next episode. Tune in next time you