032: Assisting veterans and military spouses with career readiness through mentorship with Lucie Piper

Jen Amos 0:00

Welcome to holding down the fort, a podcast show dedicated to curating knowledge, resources and relevant stories. So military spouses can continue to make confident and informed decisions for their families. Because let's face it, we know who's really holding down the fort. I'm Jen amis, a Goldstar, daughter of veterans, spouse, and your host for today's show. Let's get started.

Hey, everyone, welcome back. Before we dive into our wonderful interview today, I have a couple of updates for you. First and foremost, we as a nation are all experiencing this COVID 19 pandemic together. And so I thought that I would take this time to thank all of our essential workers that are still out there in the front lines making us feel safe at home. This is including but not limited to the truck drivers, the nurses and doctors, factory workers, farmers, teachers, mental health and social workers, journalists, janitors, and garbage collectors. Thank you so much for that since we're all at home scientists and lab techs airline and airport staff, pharmacists, caregivers animal fosters. I just recently read an article that a lot of the pet adoption agencies are being emptied out because people are adopting pets at this time. So shout out to our animal Foster's and you know, Pet Adoption places, grocery store workers, delivery employees, and of course to our military families and service members that are still out there fighting the good fight and making our nation feel safe. Secondly, holding on the four is brought to you by us bet wealth. While most financial advisors help you plan for retirement, we help you plan for who you want to become. And during this time, where a lot of us are practicing social distancing, and are maybe struggling in isolation, or really craving a sense of community. We wanted to offer all of you free action classes that you can check out at us bet wealth.com. These are educational and networking webinars where you can just jump in, learn something new with us, in these new free action classes. We will be learning from the best selling authors covering topics anywhere from identities, self development, and financial control. So some of the books that we really like, for example, are the Four Agreements, start with why the new social learning and principles and so many more. So if you are looking for a sense of community, you don't have to come and learn you could just hang out, we are offering these free action classes for anyone to join virtually. And you can learn more about that at US bet wealth.com. I hope that you'll take the opportunity to connect with us. It's a great way to connect with myself because yes, I'm hungry for community as well. And you'll also get to meet my husband as well Scott are Tucker who is the founder and CEO of us fat wealth. Last but not least, I just want to do one more shameless plug for people that are looking for another podcast to listen to. Because during these interesting times, so many of us have finally had the time fortunately to pursue your passion start a podcast show. And so my husband has actually started a new podcast show as well. And so what I'm going to do is just play the intro for you right now. And if you like it, I highly recommend that you check out wealth and liberty online. It's available now we have our first at the time of this recording. We have the first five episodes available. And yeah, hopefully this gives you another podcast show to listen to, or be inspired by to start your own podcast. Alright, enjoy.

Speaker 1 3:50

We've been told this story that if you check all the boxes, if you do all these great things, then you will be happy. But why do so many of us still feel unfulfilled? Welcome to wealth and liberty, where we give you the education tools and solutions to go from feeling unrewarded to becoming autonomous with three simple concepts to guide us identity, self development, and financial control.

Jen Amos 4:29

All right, and there you have it. I want to thank you all so much for indulging me in my announcements today. I hope that everyone continues to stay safe and healthy and continue to practice social distancing, so that our health care workers are not bombarded or overwhelmed with all the patients at this time. So thank you all so much, and enjoy this next interview.

All right. Hi everyone. Jen amo is here with holding down the fort. And I hope you're all doing well today at the time this recording we are in a pandemic with COVID 19. And hopefully this conversation today amongst the many ones that will be published moving forward will distract you from what's going on in today's times. But with that said, I'm really excited because every time I get to do another show, it means I get to interview another incredible person in our military community. So I want you all to get to know Lucy Piper. Lucy is the program manager for the military spouse mentoring program at ACP, a national nonprofit that assists veterans and military spouses with career readiness through mentorship. She is a New York native, but relocated frequently to follow her husband's nine year career in the Marine Corps, which took their young family from coast to coast. Like most military families, her career has been diverse by necessity and included roles such as hairstylist, fitness director, Military Family Readiness advisor, and program director at the corporate offices of a health and wellness company. Following her husband transition from the military back into civilian life. Lucy obtained a Master's of social work with a focus on military and veteran families from Stony Brook University. She also holds a bachelor's degree in health and wellness. Lucy now resides in New York with her husband, and her three school aged children and their two pets. Lucy, welcome to the show.

Unknown Speaker 6:23

Thank you so much, Jen. It's a pleasure to be here.

Jen Amos 6:25

Yeah, it sounds like you are handling a lot with three kids and two pets and the pandemic. That's right.

Speaker 2 6:31

It's it's been a world to say the least.

Jen Amos 6:35

Yeah, absolutely. Why don't we start loosely with you sharing? How did you hear about holding down the fort? And more importantly, what inspired you to join us on our show today?

Speaker 2 6:43

Absolutely. So just a few weeks ago, right before this all happened literally right? Before this all started, I had the pleasure of going down to pod fest, I was invited by some people who kind of were in my network and went down to military creator con. And there you were, Jen, you were up on one of the panels. And I just felt so connected to a lot of the truths that you shared up there, I think that there's this group of veterans spouses, that kind of just feels unheard, a lot of the time, we don't fit in with the active duty spouse community quite as well anymore. And you don't fit in with the civilian families quite as well anymore. It kind of just leaves us in this limbo. So I was really drawn to you and your message. And that led me to getting on Spotify and and following holding down for it. I mean, it's been, you know, kind of really nice to be heard and seen.

Jen Amos 7:37

Oh, thank you, I'm glad that you feel that way. And I'm glad that you are also a veteran spouse, because working with my husband and our colleagues, you know, our primary focus, or at least with them was to work with active duty service members. And so I've always felt like I was in this limbo stage as well, because my background too, is that I'm a gold star daughter, I was in the military life for about a decade before I lost my dad. And then fast forward 20 years, I meet my husband after his service. And so I'm just kind of like, what do I fit in and all of this, and I definitely had struggled with the imposter syndrome for some time, like even wanting to do the show. But I came to a place I was like, You know what, I'm just gonna do it. And if people like it great, and so I'm glad Lucy that you resonated with my story or even my message, and that we can connect as veterans spouses.

Speaker 2 8:23

Absolutely. And you know, when I came down to pod fest, it was because my husband and I had been throwing around the idea of starting our own podcast. And I think that we both exactly what you've said, you really hit the nail on the head, we have that imposter syndrome is anybody going to connect with our message, we aren't a military family per se anymore. But I just felt like there are so many issues that I think that people can relate, you know, as just a family as a former military family, as a veteran family, there are so many pieces to it. And so I just really want to thank you for allowing me to see somebody else who's really had success as a veteran spouse, and being able to connect with people from different walks of life. And so we're working really hard on getting ours up and running now that we feel like there's a community of people who want to listen, who want to be guests who want to be part of this. And so thank you. Oh,

Jen Amos 9:18

I have to thank you because Because yeah, like for some time I do these interviews at home, I don't like see people in person all the time. And with my refurbished MacBook, I can't always turn on video or else the computer freezes. So sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself, and there's like a voice that happens to be on the other side. And so I just want to thank you for acknowledging what I do and making yourself visible to me, because it gives me that validation to keep doing what I'm doing. And I am just I applaud you and your husband for doing podcasting as well. I personally think everyone should do podcasting. I think it's one of the most genuine ways of connecting with people like you're forced to listen to people, which I think are so It tends to struggle, a lot of times. And so yeah, you're forced to listen to people, you're forced to do active listening. And I think it's just a great way to really have build deeper relationships with people. And so thank you for saying all that. And do you know the name of your show yet?

: 10:15

Yep. So we just started some of our social media, we are just starting to record but it is going to be called the Piper perspective. So we're super excited. You know, definitely jump on Instagram and Facebook and follow us for updates. And we'll be getting a mailing subscription put together shortly and get those episodes up and running as soon as possible.

Jen Amos: 10:34

Beautiful. I was just saying offline that I like your Instagram name, the Piper perspective. Very cool. I love that. And yeah, I'm just so glad to connect with you. And as a fellow veteran spouse, and you know, really delve into this and just have a fun conversation with you today. Likewise. So Lucy, for people that are getting to know you for the first time, why don't you share just a snapshot of your life today, or maybe even like your life before COVID 19. And now currently with COVID-19? Yeah.

: 11:02

So as you shared earlier, my husband is now a veteran, we're settling into a new life here. We're both originally from New York City, and we returned to New York City after his service ended. And we both work in social work, my husband works for a veteran's service organization where he actually works with those who are food insecure. So he's essential out there. And I work for ACP running their active duty military spouse program. So things have shifted. Normally the day to day, so we live out in Long Island, but I work right outside of Grand Central. So normally, my day start super early, I wake up at about 5am. I work out before anybody wakes up, and then I get ready to go to work because I have to commute into Manhattan. So I'm out the door by 7am. And I don't walk back in the door until 7pm. So we've really done a huge role reversal from military spouse holding down the fort day, while my husband was deployed on field ops on all of those things, to him being kind of more of the primary has been a really, really big shift. He's doing beautifully. Give him some, some super props here, because I think it was a hard transition for him probably harder than me, you know. So that's kind of been our life for a while. And then this all happened. And yeah, oh, man. Thank goodness, I have that military spells background of resiliency and adapting and overcoming because my goodness, New York City is where the epicenter I'm sure everybody's kind of been tuning into the news and seeing kind of the numbers double and triple and quadruple so fast here in New York. My office is literally we overlook RingCentral. And the days before our office decided to close, which was right before those real estate home orders came out in New York City, New York just turned into a ghost town. really eerie, really reminiscent of those days post 911 right after World Trade. So it's been really, it's been really weird. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 13:06

I can imagine. I was just catching up with my sister who lives in New York City right now, too. And I'm like, are you okay? out there. And she's essentially just been like, at home for three weeks, like her job has made her work from home. And fortunately, you know, they're still paying her and she's like, she's like, I only get like, maybe four calls a day, and they're still paying me my full salary. And so you know, thank God that she's like, you know, she's safe, and she's with her boyfriend and everything. But I mean, I know that a lot of people are feeling anxious or feeling just, I don't know, unsettled. Especially if you're an extrovert. It's like, I want to get out of the house. I want to do something, but I can't do that. And she had mentioned to like, how eerie it feels that the streets are just really empty. And I mean, I can only imagine like, how scared I'd personally be just to like, walk around and be like, Oh, my gosh, there's no one here. Someone could just jump out at any time and scare me maybe? No, it's interesting to hear from her and also hear from your perspective. Yeah, absolutely. I

: 14:01

mean, I'm, thank goodness, like your sister in a really great organization that has allowed me to work from home, you know, we work on a virtual platform anyway. So we facilitate mentorships between our transitioning servicemembers, our post 911 veterans and our active duty military spouses and facilitate one on one virtual mentorships. So we really have been able to take that home with us and I'm overseeing a program, I'm still putting in my 40 plus hours a week of that kind of work. And also since my husband is essential because he you know, he works in a food pantry. He needs to be out there he needs to be bringing those meals and that food to veterans across Long Island who are not as lucky as thank goodness him and I have been throughout all of this who don't have those secure, who work hourly or you know, who haven't had the chance to go remote and virtual right now with their workplaces. So, you know, the other piece of it is that I've been balancing three kids, they're five, nine and 10 While I'm at home with me, while I'm locked up in the office trying to get all of these things, you know, still operating and going, and I'm not complaining, I'm so thankful that I get to go to work. You know, not everybody does. But you know, that's been the other piece of it, that's been a little bit more challenging. And I'm sure that lots of other military spouses, but also just Moms Across America can relate to that, you know, schools are doing their best to try to get their children, you know, learning online. Yeah, that's much easier for my nine and 10 year old to already communicate with their friends online, who already understand how, you know, computers, and iPads, and you know, Google, and all of these things work much more difficult for a five year old, who really doesn't have much understanding of these things to jump on board. And how do you as a kindergarten teacher, like switch to virtual learning, because kindergarten is so much about socialization, and not about you know, like, those kinds of things. So there's, there's so many pieces of this whole thing. It's been absolutely insane.

Jen Amos: 16:03

Yeah, I have to give it to you. And just moms in general, like, I'm not a mom yet. So every time I hear mom's story, I've just, I just throw my hands down. I'm like, you know, I salute you, I praise you. Because I mean, moms are so multifaceted. Yeah. And they have to juggle, you have to juggle so much. And so it sounds like that's exactly what's happening right now. But I think the beauty of having that background of a military spouse is that like, you've been through this before, like this is, this is like nothing new in a way. And so it sounds like you really have a handle on this, Lucy,

: 16:35

I'm trying my best. I'm an expert, we're perfect by any means. Let's make that very clear, that I'm trying my best to, you know, continue the work that I set out to do in terms of supporting military spouses, and also trying to be the most supportive mom, I can be, I just have to remember day to day, it's okay, if they miss a lesson or things don't go exactly as planned, you know, they're resilient. They are military brats, like you having to do that, you know, my middle son was born when my husband was in Afghanistan, this is these kinds of things are not new to us as a family. They are, but they are and if that makes sense. You know, the situation, of course, is different, but having to just learn how to overcome it and come out better on the other side, that's not something that we're not familiar with.

Jen Amos: 17:23

Yeah, absolutely. You know, I have friends who who are, you know, event coordinators are in the restaurant industry, and I see how this pandemic has really affected them. But the one set or community of people I wasn't worried about was the military community, because I just thought, like, they've been through this, like, we've been through this, like, we know what I mean, obviously, in a different fashion. But, you know, like, we know what it's like to adapt, we know what it's like to, you know, just start over or, you know, switch up your schedule or adjust things. And so, I felt like I was like, Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna have a problem to keep doing the show, because I'm sure they'll still be available. And they'll still, you know, like, it's like not much has necessarily changed for us, in regards to the things that we have to like, adapt to or adjust to, because it's just the life that we know. But greed 100%.

Yeah. So before we get into ACP, and what you do with the military spouse mentorship program, I was actually just especially interested in you talking about, like, your background in social work with you and your husband. And it sounds like it's something that you to really enjoy doing. Um, does that sound about? Right? Absolutely. So

: 18:25

my husband's kind of joining onboard a little later in this process. Okay, just switch to major in social work. And he's getting his BSW now, because I think that we both felt really disconnected from our military community in some way and wanted to make sure that we were doing our best to get re engaged and to help, you know, that started for me really a long time ago. So you kind of read my background. And I think it's similar to a lot of military spouse out there. It's very varied, lots of different roles, the one constant and I know that it's hard to kind of ascertain this from the different roles that I had when you read them out. But the one thing that was similar about all of them from hairstylist to Family Readiness advisor was that piece of being social, helping people in some kind of way making those connections, whether it was you know, doing somebody's hair while they're talking about what's going on in their lives, to you know, really working one on one with military families. That was the common thread. And that's the thing that I love the most. And while I enjoyed working in a fitness setting and a nutrition, there was that sales side of it that I despised, but there was that helping piece that really lit my fire. And so that's what really drew me to social work. And that's why when he suddenly he was you know, he was a careerist, until he suddenly wasn't anymore. And that's not an uncommon thing for a lot of veterans to experience. You know, things happen that you can't control. I won't tell his whole story because it's his to tell but changed for us as a family. And so we all had to adjust on the fly. And so I think that he really felt like, I have no idea what I want to be other than a Marine. That's what I intended to do for, you know, the rest of my career. And, you know, so that led to a lot of shifts and a lot of changes. So I jumped into social work versus soon as he was planning to get out, I applied to school, and I got accepted. And I started my master's in social work, because I already had a bachelor's degree, and focus on military and veteran families throughout my two year program, I interned in homeless Veterans Services first, and then shifted gears to where I was interning at the VA on a military sexual trauma unit. And I loved both in different ways. But neither of them were exactly where I saw myself long term, while I loved working on a military sexual trauma unit, because it's just beautiful, dark, difficult. It's just there's nothing, I don't know that there are words that can describe experiencing that kind of work, trauma survivor, I just couldn't see myself doing it right now, I would love to circle back to that later in life when I've got more of myself to give. But I have three little kids who are adjusting to leaving their military community behind, who are adjusting to react relating to civilian life for them, they grew up on military bases, this is all very new to them. I realized, as we came back to New York, they started saying things where I really had to say, Wow, I didn't realize how deeply that impacted their view of the world growing up in a small isolated base, and, you know, going to school on base and go to the commissary and like, all of those things, their world was so small, you know, that's all they knew. So I needed to make sure that I was doing right by them. And so that meant having to kind of step back from a more clinical setting for the time being, and reassessing where I fit into the world. And that brought me to ACP. And in this role, which I'm just so connected to, you know, my husband had a different journey. You know, it was like a lot of Marines coming out like, Okay, what's transferable? He? Yeah, he shot Stinger missiles as a primary MOS. And that's not transferable at all.

Jen Amos: 22:16

Yeah, I can't think of a thing he's like, yeah. So that's what I did in my, my military life. I think I could apply that at a admin desktop, maybe.

: 22:25

So he did he did with all you know, not all but but a lot of veterans do, like, Alright, how do I translate that, you know, logistics operations admin, you know, those kind of things that I've done security, because he was his secondary was security forces. Like he started kind of throwing those all around and went back to school and switch majors and switch majors and switch major. Try and fill it out, which I'm proud of him. Yeah, he was able to, you know, he didn't just say like, oh, I'm already invested in this, let's go for it. You know, he's really trying

Jen Amos: 22:54

to he gave, he gave himself a chance. He was like, I'm just going to explore everything in anything until something feels like it's sticking with me exactly.

: 23:01

Have any shot, he's using the GI Bill and the way that I think that it should be used to figure out what's next. Hmm. And eventually, he ended up working for the same organization that I interned for, in my first year of my master's degree, kind of as a, getting some extra money into the house having some kind of sense of like, alright, I own something to I'm not just a student, I think he needed something where he felt like he was contributing, and he was doing something, you know, with his time and, and that's kind of the story wrote itself, I think he just he started working with veterans who were homeless, or an imminent risk of homelessness, and realized, I can help other veterans in ways that I didn't think were going to be so impactful. And then it kind of just grew this love for social work for him. And so, you know, it's been interesting. Now we're doing it together. And I just, I didn't think that was gonna happen, but it's like, it's been beautiful. Like, now. Yeah, they're an office and we have her podcasting space. And we both work and, you know, in social services in some way and connected to veteran and military families, and like, it's like, finally feels like alright, I think that we've established where we belong in the civilian world, but still connected to, you know, our military family, because I think that that's something that never goes away. It's just Yeah, it's like, ingrained in my heart. It's like, part of who I am forever. Yeah,

Jen Amos: 24:21

absolutely. I think part of the struggle for a lot of veterans or post military families is finding that new identity in civilian life, but it sounds like you'd both uh, first of all, I think it's so beautiful and cute that you, you both are in the same industry now. And you're doing social work together, and you're working together and you're, you know, you're gonna do a podcast together. It's so beautiful, how your lives have changed. And I hope that for our listeners, that they can see that in themselves, hopefully, and see that there's hope after and post military life that, you know, you could find a new career, you could find a new passion and who knows, maybe you could do it with your spouse. You just never know. And you and your husband are a prime example of that. And I think that's really beautiful. And yeah, As I was saying, it is interesting. I think most people feel like they have to have a completely new identity. But, you know, the military life, that military experience that military background like never leaves you. And as I mentioned, again, I think it's awesome that you two have found that balance.

: 25:14

Thank you. Yeah, it's been a journey, he's coming up on three years out. So it definitely wasn't an overnight thing. So yeah, you know, that's one of the things we really want to talk about in our podcast a little bit more deeply. So because I'm sure that there are other people, I'm sure that you and I are not the only ones who feel like, where do I fit? And yeah, who am I now, you know, I think that being a military family was so tied into our entire family dynamic. And so, you know, I think it's nice to be able to have an outlet to get out those, you know, deep, dark secrets that you feel like, we're the only ones who've ever felt like this, and I'm sure that that's not true, you know, so it's just beautiful, that there is a place to connect and to be heard and just be able to, to let it out somewhere.

Jen Amos: 25:59

I just think that there's no better opportunity to share these stories than today's times with podcasting, like how easy it is to start podcasting, and how many resources are available for it today. And I just think it's also beautiful that you and your husband are willing to, you know, bring out the skeletons in the closet, in a sense, because, you know, I think in general, in society, we kind of perceive everyone a certain way. And we assume that assume life has to be a certain way. But the one thing that we don't always talk about really is like mental health, or what really happens behind the scenes. And because of that a lot of people can feel lonely, or they feel like they have to put on a certain face, or hold themselves a certain way. And so to have more stories out there, I think for me, it really gives people permission to be human. And to say, Yeah, I made these mistakes, I'm still making mistakes, I'm not perfect. But hopefully my story will encourage you to not be so perfect, or to be comfortable in whatever skeletons you have in your closet and understand that it's okay, not saying that that's all you're going to share on your show. But just being able to share, like your experience and military life, and whatever you and your husband choose to share on the show. I heard this before. Some people are worried when they start a show, they think like, Oh, who's gonna listen, no one's gonna listen. But someone said this really well. They said that if you can change one person's life by sharing your story, then like you've done a good job. And that's all I care about with the show is that if I can have one person listen to it, and they feel like they're able to walk away with something that they can add to their lives and you know, be better than, like, I've done my job, and I feel fulfilled. So So yeah, that's all I got to say about that.

: 27:36

100% I think that I subscribe to that kind of in all areas of my life. That's how I feel about you know, my full time job. That's how I feel about our kind of side gig now, if it touches one person, if it makes them feel more connected, or resonates with them, or helps them find something better for themselves. And that's it. I've done my job.

Jen Amos: 27:56

I love it. Well, Lucy, why don't we let's go ahead and jump into the military spouse mentorship program. And I know right now you are a program manager there. Why don't you share a little bit about what that role means and how you help military spouses and military families and veterans with mentorship? Absolutely.

: 28:15

So ACP has actually been around since 2008. It is a one on 112 month long mentorship program. Originally, it was just for our transitioning servicemembers, and our post 911 veterans. And it's worked so beautifully. At this point, we have over 17,000 alumni who have gone through a program and share that it's been an impactful experience for them professionally. We're not a jobs placement program, really what our goal is, it's kind of premise on a Big Brother, Big Sister model where we hire those veterans with a Corporate Mentor, usually, and they connect virtually. So you know, they're all across the nation or all across the world, even, they can act for, you know, monthly meetings, and it's fully customizable. So they decide what their specific goals are, and work with those mentors. You know, it may be working on their LinkedIn presence or their resume or interviewing skills or building a network outside of the military or whatever that looks like. So that program has really grown exponentially over the years. And so my 18 months ago, ACP decided we can do more, and we have this great network, we've become experts at facilitating these mentorships. We're seeing, you know, people really have these beautiful, beneficial experiences. What else can we do? And clearly this program can't necessarily help our active duty service members who intend to stay in for another 10 plus years because building a network right now may not be the best thing. They may not have the bandwidth to do something like that. So we kind of ended up on is that we can provide a support system for active duty military spouses premised on that original program, but meeting The needs of military spouses, because we certainly know that military spouses are not veterans by any means, but they don't have the same needs are active duty spouses, they are not back at their home of record or wherever they've decided to settle down, they are still living that transient lifestyle, they are still, you know, holding down the fort. Yeah, putting out fires left and right at home. But that doesn't mean that they don't want to have their own, you know, career, they don't want to be engaged in professional development, you know, they do, but not all of them have the resources to do that. And a lot of them struggle with what I struggled with for a long time, you know, how do you leverage volunteerism? How do you talk about gaps in your resume, Who's going to care if I want to get a job, and who's going to give me that opportunity when they know that I might be moving, you know, down the road, and all of these things. And so that's led me into this role, where I now help manage the program, you know, the day to day of, you know, working with other nonprofit organizations, working with military installations, working with influencers, like you word out to make sure that military spouses know that this program is available to them, and that we're here to support them. Because really, at the end of the day, that's really what we want to do.

Jen Amos: 31:19

I love it. And I'm glad that you're actively going out there to create awareness for this. It's interesting, because for me, personally, I didn't even know that I was considered a Goldstar daughter until a couple of years ago, I didn't know it was a phrase, I had no idea. I was far removed from the military. I didn't know if there was any resources available to me, I always saw like, at least from my husband's perspective, who's a veteran, you know, you see all these nonprofits for him, you know, they have back in San Diego, there was this nonprofit for free dog training for veterans that own dogs, you know, just all these things for veterans. Were for me, I felt like, oh, you know, I didn't even count myself, you know, I didn't qualify myself to even think that I was qualified for any kind of support. And one thing I love about doing this show is that I get to discover all these resources. And that's why I do this show, I guess, selfishly, it's for me, but to the listeners who are really left in the dark. And as we know, it's common knowledge that every time a family PCS is like the military spouse has to establish a new normal, and it's like a scavenger hunt every time every time they move, like what resources am I going to have like, what what can I have for my kids? What can I have for myself. And so it's really important that when you know that you have a good thing, especially the military spouse, mentorship program, ACP, knowing that you can provide the service, like you do have to actively go out there and promote it. There's this nonprofit that I hope to have on my show soon. But they actually provide free life coaching for veterans and military families and Goldstar families. And yeah, it's yeah, it's really cool. I have a coach right now. So I might have him on the show. And so stay tuned for that later. But though I will love it. Yeah. But my point in all this is that, you know, no matter what stage you're in, in the military, I have some military spouses who are not married yet who didn't qualify themselves as part of the military family. They're like, Oh, I don't want to share my story on the show, because I'm not married yet. You know, but the truth is that everyone, there's so many different walks of life around the military life. And even if you are dating someone, you know, to being career military, to being an active duty military spouse, with veteran spouse, there's a resource for you, because we cannot undervalue the sacrifices that we make, even if we as military spouses are not in the front lines, like we make sacrifices to the kids make sacrifices to. And this show is really about highlighting all the programs and the people and the community that is acknowledging the sacrifices that military spouses and families have gone through. So I just want to thank you for actively reaching out to be on the show. Because I can only imagine that I mean, I mean, 17,000 alumni, okay, that's a lot. That's a lot. And tell me for people that are like, Oh, my gosh, I could I could totally use this. What What's the process like for them to even get started?

: 34:10

It's really super easy. You know, I just want to stress that for our military spouses out there, you know, I know from my experience for a long time, I had that feeling of like, I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. No, I yeah, what I want to do so I don't want you to count yourself out. Because I think again, that imposter syndrome in the military spouse community especially is so strong, very used to being you know, it's the needs of the Corps, the needs of the Army, it's a you know, your that's what comes first and you come last. So I just want to stress whether you're considering a new career, or starting a small business, or you've recently moved locations and you don't know what to do or you want, you know, career coaching or any kind of professional development help with kind of what would be next steps in terms of education, whatever it is, we have mentors who are here to offer their assistance. So Please don't shy away from applying just because you don't have all the answers. We don't either. At the time, I certainly didn't. But sometimes it takes a sounding board, a cheerleader, you know, an unbiased person to be able to help walk you through these steps to figure out what is next. So let us do that for you, let us do that heavy lifting and, and help get you in touch with somebody, you know, our mentors for the spouse program are a little bit different than the mentors for our veteran program, because we know that the needs are different. So we've got you know, we've got career coaches, we've got people in education settings, and healthcare settings and helping professions and you know, all different walks of life who are there. So definitely apply, it's super easy, all you have to do is jump on our website, ACP dash usa.org. And then you're going to scroll down and apply as a military spouse. The application itself is super simple. Don't worry about putting in every single detail because we are very high touch as an organization. You know, we've got we're a small nonprofit here in New York City. But we've got a lot of heart. And we really put our all into it. So I've got about 50 colleagues who work alongside me. And so you know, once you put in your application with just basic information, don't go crazy on it. We're going to give you a call to schedule a one on one phone call to get to know you so that we can understand what are your needs? What are your wants, what type of mentor preferences Do you have all of these things will help you build out kind of a profile to make sure that we are identifying the perfect mentor for you. We don't have any programs or algorithms that's going to spit out the perfect person for you. We use human intuition, we use your feedback to make sure that you're on board. So we don't automatically assign anybody, you're really in the driver's seat, because this is for you. This is free, and 100% for you. Beautiful, and I hope that our listeners, I hope their ears perked up when they heard free, I make sure that I throw that in. Because I feel like if I were listening, I realized up until that point like I would just be waiting for the catch. I felt like that was a good place to throw that in. You know, the spouse program here is funded fully by grants. Our mentors are all volunteers who want to give back to military spouses. So we will never ever reach in your pocket, we will never ask you for a cent that's not what we're here for, we're here to make sure that you are having a beneficial experience that you are getting the type of supports that you need to make sure that you are on your path towards meaningful employment because that's another piece for us. And very spouses in general, as you know, unemployment rates will now they're climbing again. So we're definitely going to see a shift in trends. Up until recently, unemployment rates are really low. Military Spouse Employment was obviously higher, just because of again, all the obstacles we discussed before. But that underemployment that's where we see the biggest need, it's hard to maintain a real career and have that upward mobility, you know, be able to continue to grow as a professional when you don't have the ability to stay necessarily within a company for a long amount of time. So I think a lot of spouses are really overly educated. They brought tons of experience, you know, and really wonderful backgrounds, but they just continue to be put in roles that they're overqualified for, and and so they really are under employed in a lot of ways.

Jen Amos: 38:41

Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you for sharing all of that Lucy. And to me, it sounds like the only reason why you wouldn't apply for this is because you think that you don't deserve it. Or you think that maybe you're afraid to ask for help. And I mean, just with you describing Lucy, like how high touch your organization is, I would just recommend to our listeners to just apply, like, just do it, especially if you don't know what you want. And especially if you have a lot of time on your hands right now, although I do know that with all the kids being home, you probably have a full plate. If you know you've been so like Lucy said, the process is so easy to apply. They're very high touch, they care, these are volunteers who do it because they care. And really, it's just up to you to just do it. Just do it.

: 39:28

Do it. Yeah. And I know and you're right, we are all busy. And we've all got crazy schedules. Now. It's one hour per month, for a year. So you know, I think that we all can find some time for ourselves. I don't think that it's crazy for me to be like alright, I'm gonna put aside a one hour block once per month to just focus on myself to figure out you know, either what I want to do or how do I advance in my current career field or, you know, whatever your specific goals How do I you know, start a small business or grow mice Small Business, you know, all of these things, it's one hour per month. And what's the saying? You know, when you're on an airplane and you owe the pathogen mask if you're not putting on your own oxygen mask? How are you helping everybody else? Right? Yeah, this is your of yourself. So this is my social worker plug for self care. Yeah, take care of yourself, do something for yourself. That was something if I could, like, go back in time and say to myself, as a young military spouse is like, do something for you once in a while, you don't have to be everything for everybody all the time. Lucy, you're allowed to be an individual to take the time to do something for yourself one hour per month is not a lot. Yeah, absolutely. And,

Jen Amos: 40:41

you know, we know that with military spouses, they tend to put everyone else first or even women in general, I think we tend to put everyone else first. And just a good reminder that when you do put yourself first, you can add more value to the people in your life, you can be more productive, you can be more present with them. Because you can't, you know, fill up someone else's cup if your cup is empty. And that's what self care does. It helps fill up your cup so that you can pour in other people's cups. Yeah, oh, yeah. So the last question I had for you, Lucy is obviously I could tell you're very passionate about what you do. And I imagine that you have spoken to countless of people, you know, just individuals in our military community, what do you enjoy the most, when it comes to being a program manager for the military spouse mentorship program,

: 41:29

it's definitely those connections, building connections with military spouses following them through their journey. So again, like I said, we're super high touch. So once we get you paired with a mentor, that's not the end of us, we check in with our mentors and our military spouses once a month, to see how everything is going to supply, you know, customized resources. And that's what fills my cup the most. And that's what I enjoy the most is reaching out and hearing their stories, watching them grow in their own professional development, watching these beautiful relationships unfold. I mean, some of these relationships have turned into like, really great friendships outside of just the mentorship program we've had on the veteran side, the military spouse side is young. So we don't have quite as many huge success stories yet, in the same way. We've had, like veteran parents who have been the best man in each other's weddings, because of the kinds of relationships that they've built. I'm not saying that that won't happen in the military spouse program. And there have been some beautiful success stories already. But like, that's the one that that always comes to mind. For me, it's just like, how much more could you honor somebody than to include them in one of the biggest days in your life? Right?

Jen Amos: 42:41

Beautiful. Yeah,

: 42:42

that's my favorite by far is, you know, just watching these beautiful relationships bloom and just being able to kind of be a fly on the wall, because our job isn't to be part of that relationship. It's just to facilitate it. So we get to see all of those beautiful moments happen. And you know, when you get a military spouse who came in saying, like, I have no idea what I want to do, and I just can't even imagine that I could have any kind of real career based on all the things that are happening. And then a few months later, say, I'm in the role that I thought I could never have with a company that I thought would never give me a second look. Or, you know, my mentor has helped me become more confident and speak more confidently about being a military spouse and not walk into an interview ashamed and hiding who I am. I know exactly how to address that. Now, those are the things that just I mean, could you do anything better with your life and then be able to be part of that, like, that's, I mean, that's what brought me into social work. And that's what brought me to ACP is being able to just witness that

Jen Amos: 43:42

all. Well, awesome, Lucy, that sounds so satisfying to witness someone just have that mental shift that anything is possible, or like what they thought they couldn't attain, they were able to attain it and to be involved with that I can only imagine like, yeah, it makes sense why you do what you do. And it sounds like you really do love what you do. And and I applaud you for the work that you do. And I'm so glad that you were able to join me today to talk more about ACP and the military spouse mentorship program. So with that said, Lucy, I think we had a really incredible conversation today. And I can only imagine that there are some people who may want to reach out to you. So we had mentioned the website, but for people if they do want to get a hold of you directly, how do they do that?

: 44:23

There are tons of ways please reach out to me I love speaking with people I will I will jump on the phone with you. I will coordinate a zoom call if that works better for you just reach out to me. LinkedIn is probably one of the easiest ways to get a hold of me. So my name there is Lucy Piper MSW. So please definitely connect with me message me. You can email me directly at my work email, which is L Piper. That's Ellis and Lucy PCIP are at ACP dash usa.org. Or again, small plug if you want to connect with us on Facebook or on our Instagram For at the Piper perspective, that's the name on both of them, you can absolutely connect with me there as well. I am probably to a fault on my phone and plugged in like all the time. So if you reach out to me on any of those platforms, I will get back to you probably faster than you expected.

Jen Amos: 45:17

I love it. It's so funny, because sometimes people are like, Oh, what's the best way to get a hold of you judge? Should I like Facebook message you? Should I text you like which one's faster? And I was like, I get all the notifications. So like any of them was fine. Awesome. And then to our listeners, if you didn't catch that, don't worry. I'll have that in the show notes. As always, you're welcome. With that said, Lucy. It's been an absolute pleasure speaking with you today. Do you have any closing thoughts for our listeners, before we go,

: 45:43

I just again want to stress I am always here, whether it is as a sounding board a friend, if you need somebody to talk to, if any of this resonated with you, and you just want to say hi, please connect with me. I I live, breathe, eat sleep stuff. It's who I am and will continue to be. So I just want to thank you, Jen for again, being such a beautiful voice for our community, for having the courage and the confidence to start something like holding on the fort and he here to just allow us a space to again, like get information on resources and everything. You're just you're just wonderful. I can't say that enough.

Jen Amos: 46:25

Ah, thank you. It's always great to hear that you can never get enough of that. So thank you, I, I receive that. That's it. I internalize it. Thank you. I will repeat it when I edit the show. It's gonna be great. Awesome. Well, with that said to our listeners. Thank you all so much for listening. We hope that today's episode gave you one more piece of knowledge, resource or relevant stories so you can continue to make confident and informed decisions for you and your family. With that said, we look forward to speaking with you in the next episode. Tune in next time. Bye guys. Hope

Unknown Speaker: 46:56

to connect with you all soon.