044: "I'll tell you, schedules for everything are the only way I can get by." Helping mothers grow big businesses with Chandra Adusei

Jen Amos 0:00

Welcome to holding down the fort, a podcast show dedicated to curating knowledge, resources and relevant stories. So military spouses can continue to make confident and informed decisions for their families. Because let's face it, we know who's really holding down the fort. I'm Jen amis, a Goldstar daughter, a veteran spouse, and your host for today's show. Let's get started.

Happy Monday welcome back to another episode of holding down the fort. I'm your host, Jen aImost, veteran spouse and Goldstar daughter. And as always, I'm excited to have another episode because it means that I get to interview another incredible person in our military community. Of course, before I do, I always like to share a couple of announcements. First and foremost, I highly encourage you to subscribe to our newsletter, especially if you have enjoyed our past guests. Our newsletter curates knowledge, resources and relevant stories through the contributions of our past guests on the show. If you want to go beyond the interviews of our guests here, I encourage you to sign up for the newsletter and see what else they have to share for our amazing community. You can check out the show notes of this episode or visit holding down the fort podcast.com to subscribe to our newsletter. Secondly, holding down the fort podcast is brought to you by the company I work for us but wealth at US vet wealth we take a different approach to financial services. We focus on educating and empowering veterans and their families on how to have personal autonomy in their lives with three simple concepts that guide us identity, self development and financial control. I've talked often in the recent episodes of our pillars of development, and the way that we are helping veterans and military spouses with self development today is with our free 30 Day LinkedIn masterclass. Now, at the time of this recording, the live masterclass is coming to an end. But that doesn't mean that it's over. You can learn more and see what else we have in store even after the live event is over by visiting us vet wealth.com forward slash LinkedIn. So if you're looking to improve your LinkedIn profile, and your personal branding online overall, once again, check out our website us bet wealth.com Ford slash LinkedIn. Last but not least, I'm excited to share that for season three of holding down the fort, I will be looking for a co host to join me. So if you are an avid fan of the show, if you've been following our episodes, and you have gained a lot of value from listening to our guests, consider getting involved shoot me an email Jen at holding down the fort podcast.com To schedule a time for us to get acquainted. I'm most interested in hearing about how this show has really helped you and how you would like to add to the conversation for season three. All right, with that said, thank you so much for listening to my announcements. Now please enjoy this next interview with Shandra. I do say and special guests her son.

All right. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of holding down the fort. I'm your host, Jen Amos. And as always, I get to conduct amazing interviews with people in our military community. So I want to introduce you all to Shandra do say Shandra do SE is a senior managing partner of the femme printer consultant. She's a Navy veteran and military spouse Shandra. Welcome to the show.

Unknown Speaker 3:38

Thank you for having me, Jen. I'm excited to be here.

Jen Amos 3:41

Yes, I know, when we're offline, you were saying that this is me time right now. Because you are a mom of two. And I want to make this a time for you to just talk about yourself and really make it about you and just have a relaxing conversation with me.

Unknown Speaker 3:58

Yeah, no, I'm gonna let me put my feet up.

Jen Amos 4:01

Perfect. Now we just need wine and then

Unknown Speaker 4:04

right, just be complete.

Jen Amos 4:06

Why don't we start with just kind of sharing how we met, because it's been about two years now, I think since we've known each other. And I believe that we met in San Diego when my husband and I were there. And I forgot the name of the conference. But I do know that it was held by the San Diego Business Journal and the Rosen network.

Speaker 1 4:24

Yes. So you are right. That was about two years ago. And so at the time, my daughter when she was almost two, and I decided, okay, now is a time where I can start going out and networking for my business at the time, which was for financial services. And so I get down there and I'm trying to talk to everyone and anyone and networking. Right. And I remember Flossie Hall said you should go talk to Scott. I don't know who Scott is. Great. Let me go find Scott.

Jen Amos 5:00

Right, my husband, by the way, because the listeners are wondering.

Speaker 1 5:04

And so I sit at your table by chance. And you know, we hit it off. We had a great time. And I think that was the start of our like working collaboration partnership. relationship.

Jen Amos 5:16

Yeah, for sure. No, it was great to meet you. And my husband was especially excited that you were incorrect me, because I only know about like, West Point. But you went to the Naval Academy.

Unknown Speaker 5:28

That's right.

Jen Amos 5:31

Yeah. And so he so he was all like, Oh, cool. We both went to like a military school.

Speaker 1 5:36

It's so surreal. I mean, if you were to ask me, you know, Hey, would you do it? Again? My answer is probably no.

Jen Amos 5:45

Well, why don't you tell us for anyone you know, because I think about, like, you know, my dad, he just joined as enlisted. And so tell me a little bit about that experience going to the Naval Academy.

Speaker 1 5:57

You know, for me, it was best experience going in not knowing what to expect. And I think if I had to do it, again, I'm thinking of it from this perspective, where I'm now older, and you know, your body is a lot different. From 18, to like, 30, something. And so that is why I say I probably wouldn't be able to make it.

Jen Amos 6:21

Oh, man, that

Speaker 1 6:24

and then the recession hit in: 2008

Jen Amos 6:58

lege a couple years later, in: 2011

Speaker 1 7:28

. So when we entered in: 2001

Jen Amos 8:18

Yeah, very well said, well, Shandra, why don't we fast forward to today, and for people that are getting to know you for the first time, I know that you are in a new industry now we're in a different industry from when we first met. But yeah, why don't you share a snapshot of your life today? Particularly what keeps you excited and busy nowadays?

Speaker 1 8:34

Well, what keeps me really busy nowadays is my two kids, I have a almost four year old and a nine month old. And so when COVID-19 hit all the schools and my childcare shut down, and I was like, Well, what am I gonna do?

Jen Amos 8:52

says every parent,

Speaker 1 8:54

right, like, you know, you take care of to a certain point, and then you can, you can take in the school, right, right. So that was, it was no longer an option. And, you know, at first I would call the teachers almost every week and tell them how much I love them. How important they were.

Jen Amos 9:12

Yeah, it's like, I get it now. Thank you.

Speaker 1 9:16

I need the patience. You have, you know, teacher. Wow. But you know, like in anything like being a military spouse, being a veteran, you step up, and you realize, okay, well, this isn't going to end anytime soon. You know, let's figure out how we're going to manage our new normal. And I tell you schedules for everything. Are the only way I can get by. I mean my kids know, even the nine month old knows right around 1pm It's quiet time. And you guys are all going to take at least two hours to rest your little cells. Why mom, you know who manages her business?

Jen Amos 9:55

There you go. That's good. You're teaching them healthy boundaries at evac. early age. Exactly, yeah. And I think that's actually really powerful to set that early on. Because, you know, you definitely hear about those helicopter moms where they feel like they have to be involved in everything. And they have to, you know, be hands, like, like 100% Hands on their kids. And so I think it's really healthy for you to say to them, like, okay, between this time these timeframes, this is mom's time, you all have to figure out what to do with yourselves, whether it's take a nap, or play with toys, but this is mom's time, and you don't bother mom within this timeframe.

: 10:31

Right? You know, my mom was a really good mentor in that aspect. Because when I had my first you know, with your first you, you, you tend to hover, right? And this is the first this is your first baby, you have no clue what you're doing. And I remember one time my mom was over to help out. And my daughter was playing by herself. And I was like, Oh, I have to go play with her. Right? I don't want her to feel like she's abandoned. My mom was like, leave her alone. Let her play with herself. And it's, it turns out is actually a developmental milestone that a child can develop their own imagination and play with themselves. Right? If I was to hover and try to play with her, she would have missed out on that ability to, you know, be okay with her own self and or her own imagination.

Jen Amos: 11:19

Well, Chandra, yeah, thank you for sharing just a little snapshot of your life today. Let's go ahead and dive into what we really want to talk about. And so I just think that, you know, first of all, your professional background is really impressive. You went to the Naval Academy, you served, you're a veteran. And right now your husband is serving, and you are a military spouse. But you're also a mompreneur. And I think that's a lot to juggle. It's a lot, it's a lot to do. And, and just like what you said, though, you know, scheduling is everything. So it sounds like I think everything you've been through has really kind of prepared you for this time, especially at the time of this recording with the pandemic and, and all the uncertainty that's happening,

: 11:56

right, you make it sound like I just have everything together. And, you know,

Jen Amos: 12:05

I try to do that for my guests, though. I want them to realize, to say the least, especially moms, especially moms, because I'm not a mom. So I feel like I'm always gonna hold moms on a pedestal because I could just only imagine, because it's one thing to have yourself organized. But then you have to have, you're gonna have to organize your kids. And then there's the husband, you know, if you have a husband, you know, like, it's just, it just seems like a lie. And I appreciate you kind of acknowledging like, Okay, well, you make me sound perfect. But

: 12:31

I mean, any mom knows, like, there are things that just fall off the table, right? Something's gotta give, you know, cleaning up a home after two kids is a full time job in and of itself. I'm running a business. I'm keeping two humans alive. I'm helping my husband when I can, Something's gotta give. So sometimes it's the housework, sometimes it's cooking, sometimes we will eat out, we will go get Chick fil A, and say, Look, Mommy put it on a plate and prepared it for you.

Jen Amos: 13:03

She provided?

: 13:06

I think the way we're able to, you know, get the schedules and it's just prioritizing things. What are my top three things? Some days, it's what is the most important thing I need to get done today? And then allowing myself the grace that you know what, it's just not all going to happen? Eventually will but you know, it won't all happen at the same time. And I think COVID has let me feel has Let me release that guilt that I felt that things were falling by the wayside.

Jen Amos: 13:36

know for sure. You pointed out something I was gonna ask you a question about, you know, planning ahead and scheduling. And it sounds to me that at least you know, given current times, it sounds like the best way to plan is day by day. Does that sound about right for you?

: 13:50

For personal. I actually like to plan by the week, because now that we're at home with two kids, I'm also my daughter and my son's teacher by helping us. Right? Like she still has to learn some ABCs right. And so, for me planning by the week for personal works a lot better and also for my business, you know, planning out the month that way I you know, I'm never caught off guard so to speak. You know, it's pays to be proactive, for sure. Now there are times there are times let's be honest, there are times when that just doesn't happen he's awake so we're going to luckily this isn't a video or else we would have our hands full.

Jen Amos: 14:46

Oh for sure. And if anything, my editor can help us unless you don't mind, you know, having him on background as we do this interview. I don't mind at all. This is really all this is really happening.

: 15:00

But it's actually yeah, this is, you know, this is how we manage it. Sometimes you just include them in on it, I did a video about, you know, for other mompreneurs the other day about selling, right? And how to make selling, feel less awful, right? When you're in a business, right, one of the hardest things for women owned businesses is to sell. And there is a way to sell without selling. And as I'm talking about this on my video, you know, I asked the audience, like, who here feel doesn't like selling and I raised my hand. And then sure enough, my baby boy raises his hand to kind of just kind of include them in on it.

Jen Amos: 15:42

That is so cute. I love it. Well, Chandra, I know that when we first met, you were in financial services. And now your focus more on helping women in business today, and especially mompreneurs. And I feel like it sounds obvious already, considering that you are a mom, but what really inspired you to make the shift from financial services to you know, being a FEM printer consultant today?

: 16:05

Honestly, it was the pandemic, I had an opportunity to just sit and be still for about a week when things were unfolding and happening rapidly. And I realized, what is my passion? What am I really passionate about? Right? I'm good at helping people with their finances. But is that something that I'm really passionate about? And I just realized that what gave me the most happiness was helping people grow their business. And that was something that I had been doing in corporate America. But, you know, haven't explored the opportunity to help small businesses. And towards the end of March, you know, they came out with SBA, emergency loans for businesses that were impacted, and I started helping other businesses navigate that process, like how could they get their loan from SBA, the PPP loans and the eidl. And I helped a few businesses with that process. And, you know, they started asking me more questions about, Hey, how can I create more efficiencies here, long story short, it just grew organically, to help these businesses grow and scale and a meaningful and impactful way that could continue to help them benefit their community, and provide jobs. So that's where I'm actually really passionate about helping other moms navigate this, I am blessed with the ability to think on a lot of different planes, even with the craziness that is managing children in the background. And I know for a lot of women who are managing their business and kids at the same time, it gets a little hairy and the things that you want to accomplish, you know, start to fall by the wayside, because you know, we get overwhelmed. We don't have enough resources to help us with that. And so I would like other business owners, you know, I'm that resource for other mompreneurs. Yeah, right. In order to grow your business, you need to get comfortable with delegating tasks, or growing a team to help you reach that next goal. And so that's where my business comes in, is that we help other mompreneurs, you know, grow to be big businesses.

Jen Amos: 18:17

I think that's really awesome. And I remember when you were doing financial services, you are primarily focused on businesses. So it's just really awesome to see how you've evolved and how the pandemic really had inspired you, you know, to talk more and focus more on helping mompreneurs build their businesses. I know that you had already provided some resources to your community from the SBA. I'm curious, though, with the people that you started to work with, with fellow mompreneurs. What do you feel like are the common issues that mompreneurs experienced that you feel like you've had the opportunity to help them with?

: 18:55

That's a great question. One of the most common things that I see is impostor syndrome, I'm dealing with a lot of super accomplished women, these women are fantastic, you know, I look up to them. And in the back of their mind, they think that what they're doing may not be good enough, or they're worried that somebody will call them out and say that they're not good enough. And I just think, for how much they've accomplished and their business, you know, that is such a disservice to who they are as a person and their mission. Yeah. And so we work on mindset, and how to, you know, control those negative thoughts and turn them into something that's more positive and more productive. The other thing that we work on is, you know, some folks are unaware of the different types of revenue streams that they have within their business. So we look at where you go, and we look at growth.

Jen Amos: 19:55

I love hearing and by the way, like I got something to say to I gotta give advice to these moms too.

: 20:01

Right? Right, right. Right here for Right, right. So, you know, helping them grow and generate revenue as well for the different things within their business. I mean, that's two of the three things that I primarily deal with impostor syndrome, helping them expand their business, and their for my folks that are just considering going into business for themselves. We help them complete their incorporation filings, and also help them map out how they can get their idea into a profitable

Jen Amos: 20:42

business. Awesome. Now, that's all incredible. And I think the mindset thing is absolutely the most important thing. And, you know, you're not the first person that has brought that to my attention. Even I have had the imposter syndrome. And I feel like whenever I have an opportunity to talk with other women in business, that is like the number one thing that comes up, and I kind of feel like, I've come to this place where it's like, oh, well, we all seem to have the impostor syndrome. So let's just laugh about it and show up anyway. Let's just do it. Anyway. That's right. Just show up. I promise you if you show up, nobody's going to call you out. Yeah, for sure. I'm really glad that we talked about that, just because it is such a common thing. And it just makes me wonder, though, like, why do we think that like, Why do women think or struggle with impostor syndrome to begin with?

: 21:32

You know, I think a lot of it is cultural. You know, in our parents generation, they were told to be superwoman, right. Right, right. They can be you can have it all is what people have said, you can either working mom, you can have the 2.5 kids, I never understood that ratio, like, what's your point five child, you can have the happy spouse dinner on the table every night at 6pm. I mean, that's exhausting. And so now, our generation, well, we saw the perception, right, my mom was a working mom, you know, three kids dinner on the table every night at 6pm, from what I remember from my childhood, and now, you know, I'm not living up to that measurement. I'm not living up to that metric. So then there's something that I must not be doing correctly. And then those doubts those, those seeds of I'm not good enough, you know, they translate very quickly to imposter syndrome. You know, and if you're Catholic like me, then you have that guilt associated with it. So now you're now you're guilty, and you feel like an impostor.

Jen Amos: 22:43

I totally know what you mean, with that Catholic guilt? I tell ya. Yeah. Well, you know, thank you for painting that picture. And I think when women and moms see that, you know, I hope that they realize, like, okay, like, this is this is our reality. And you know, what, it's absolutely okay. Like, our mom's standard, or how they lived, doesn't mean that that has to be our standard, you know, and we don't have to live up to that plus more.

: 23:09

Right. And it doesn't mean that you're less than if you're not living to that standard, you know, because when you try to do at all, then that starts to erode your mental health too. Right. And so I look at the ability to do it all is not necessarily a good thing. You know, so at times, it might be necessary, but it's not sustainable. Right,

Jen Amos: 23:32

right. Absolutely. Well, awesome. Shandra This was such an amazing conversation so far. And I feel like you know, it's one thing to be a mom, and to have kids and to have a business. But I also think it's another thing to be a military spouse, you know, and be a mom and have a business. And so for the military spouses that are listening to this show, and they want to have a business or they do have a business, but maybe they're struggling, like what do you want to say to that military spouse?

: 24:00

Earlier, I said, you know, I plan out my week, my personal week, you know, by the week and I plan out my business by the month, but as far as the emotional strain of being a military spouse, that is, day by day, sometimes that is, you know, minute by minute, and you really have to have your goals, front and center. Right? You know, I have my goals and sticky notes on my mirror. So when I wake up and I brush my teeth, I can see it in the mirror. You know, I have my personal goals. I have my business goals. I have my goals for my kids, and you just want to keep that in the forefront like what is the most important thing for you and your family? You know, no matter how many moves you're growing through, like right now our family is gearing up to move overseas and with my husband being stationed in another state, I am the person that has to pack up the house and move it so when you so it is literally somedays it's day by day as far as you know, keeping your sanity but then have that goal in mind and, and reaching out to other people that are in a position to help you. So if you're thinking about going into business for yourself, reach out to another military spouse that might already be in business for yourself and say, How did you do it? Like? What are some tips you could give me start building your network, because the most successful people aren't successful alone, right? There's a team of, there's a team of people in place, there's a whole network of family, friends and colleagues that have helped them get to where they need to be. So if you're lost if you don't know which way to go, if you're just struggling to carve out the mental space to even think about building a business, then start building your network, start building your tribe, your family that's going to help you be successful.

Jen Amos: 25:48

Yeah, that's so powerful. Shandra, I'm going to say it again, because I just thought it was so powerful when you said that the most successful people are not successful alone. And I think that's very important to remember. And I think for the military, spouse, military family journey, it's easy to feel isolated and to feel alone. And so I appreciate you sharing that and reminding our listeners that you're not alone. And hence why we have the show so that you can pay attention or hear about the resources and the community that is available for you should you not have someone in your immediate network Shandra. With that said, I think we had such an incredible conversation today. Thank you so much for sharing a little bit about your background, where you are in life today, I'm glad we were able to catch up on a personal level, as well. And I feel like I was able to learn from you as well, being reminded that despite current events, to always be present in your life, and act accordingly and plan ahead as far as you can, whether it's a week, a month, or even moment by moment, especially with your feelings. So Shandra for people that want to learn more about the FEM printer consultant and the work that you're doing today, how can they get a hold of you?

: 27:00

Yeah, Jen, they can hop on my website. My little man has been there himself. www dot Shandra. Do faye.com. You know, they can peruse the website, they can set up a free consultation, we can, you know, just chat about it. You know, what are some goals that they have for themselves, and you know, map them out.

Jen Amos: 27:21

Awesome. I love it. And I just want to give a shout out to your son for joining us today as well. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Shandra. And to our listeners. We hope that today's episode gave you one more piece of knowledge, resource or relevant story, so you can continue to make confident and informed decisions for you and your family. With that said, we look forward to speaking with you in the next episode. Tune in next time