145: "I don’t know who she is. But she’s a military spouse. I have a sister here, and so I’m going to stand next to her." Women Who Do Wonders with Pamela Bolado

Jen Amos 0:00

Alright, hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode here at the award winning podcast show holding down the fort. I am your Creator and co host, Jenn aImost. And as always, I have my incredible co host, military spouse, Mama, two boys mental health advocate and my local friend, Jenny Lynch troop Jennylyn. Welcome back to hold down the fort Hays.

Unknown Speaker 0:18

So glad to be here today.

Jen Amos 0:19

Yes. And I believe by the time this episode gets out, you and I are going to be prepping to go to Disney World together.

Speaker 1 0:28

So excited. I like cannot contain my joy about the whole thing.

Jen Amos 0:33

Yeah. And I will like mention in the announcements of this episode in the final editing, like what we're going to be doing where we're going to be going, Yeah, I know that you're ecstatic to actually go to Disney World. I haven't been to Disney World since I was like 18. So I'm going to be following your lead in regards to like the places to visit and things to check out. But yeah, it's just really cool how our co host relationship has really evolved in the last couple of years of being together. And for our listeners, we have some exciting updates in the upcoming episodes. So stay tuned. We're gonna we're still talking about things behind the scenes. Anyway, teaser aside? I don't know, gentlemen, do you have any teasers that you want to kind of wrap up here and to leave our listeners guessing?

Speaker 1 1:14

I really wish I did. Last. I'm still in such limbo. In most areas of my life. I have nothing to tease out other than we are in fact going to Disney. Yes,

Jen Amos 1:24

yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know, I just think in general, like one thing I feel like we learned about the military life is to just be extremely present. It's in and not think too far ahead. Because I think it causes a lot of stress if we do Yeah. All right. On that note, we are really, really, really excited to be bringing on another incredible guest onto our show today. I'm telling you, she's incredible. Like I know I say incredible a lot but this particular guest and this is not to minimize any of the the past guests that I've said are incredible. But we do have an incredible guest today, Pamela billaudot, who is the founder and CEO of women who do wonders International. So a little bit about Pamela. She is a mom of three boys and military spouse, born and raised in Canada. And she wears a lot of hats. She's an entrepreneur, a master esthetician, nonprofit founder, which we'll be talking about toward the end of our conversation today, skincare developer, magazine creator event creator podcaster and I asked her about this a little bit later a cleft lip warrior and athlete. So without further ado, Pamela, welcome to hold Manafort.

Speaker 2 2:30

Thank you so much, ladies for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Jen Amos 2:33

Yes. And now that I think about it, let me go ahead and open up by asking you about this title, you have your cleft lip warrior. Tell us a little about that, because you're gonna be the first person to talk about this on our show. Like literally, I don't know anyone else who has ever had this other than you. So please tell us a little bit about this.

Speaker 2 2:51

s wrong on my mom's. This was: 1978

Jen Amos 4:17

I love that. And I do appreciate you sharing that I know right? Before we were going to start recording, I didn't mention that I was going to bring this up. But I was like, you know, I'm gonna bring it up. And it's interesting to think that that's where you're at when you were born. And here you are thriving in your 40s. Now, you just recently turned 44. And I want to read a quote that you shared on the podcast show on air with Molly dare, which goes Pamela as a reminder to all of us that we have it within us to do hard things and reach our true potential. And I think starting from that cleft lip warrior from the very beginning to where you are today, and we'll close the gap in our conversation today. So our listeners know a little bit more about your story. I think that you know, Molly, Derek got it right. To describe you in this way.

Unknown Speaker 4:58

I left barley

Jen Amos 5:00

g time, I believe it's around: 2015

Speaker 2 5:47

I actually moved to Kuwait in: 2001

Jen Amos 7:48

just have to quickly, I want to quickly add that if anyone ever complained about being stuck at home during quarantine, they have to hear your story

Speaker 2 7:58

is a little bit different. But yes, it was kind of the same feeling I guess. Yeah. Little

Speaker 1 8:04

little bit. Just fascinated by the whole thing. I just want to hear all all the things.

Speaker 2 8:09

econd son by then that was in: 2010

Jen Amos: 10:58

it seems like every time you return to or, you know, if your husband goes away, it's like, you're like a different person, almost every single time. And it must feel like a very interesting experience to go back and kind of reference like who you were, before you came, I kind of consider California, my hometown. And if ever, whenever I go back, it's like, kind of a surreal feeling. It's like, I'm not the same person I was when I had left. And so that's what sort of came to mind for me. I just want to like, highlight the fact that you were in your young 30s is what it sounds like, when you had your two boys, or when you brought your two boys. And you started a business. And, you know, I'm 34 it right. I mentioned this offline. I was I'm 34. I'm turning 35. I don't have kids yet. But I'm just like, I can just only imagine. Like, what that lifetime ago experience was like for you. And then of course, the heart experience of like, kind of letting go and letting your boys like, live with their dad just pretty wild. That I mean, I almost feel like a little speechless here at Disneyland. I want to check in with you. Do you have any thoughts?

: 11:56

I mean, I was thinking, Gosh, man, those young 30s Really, really shape. Things. I was thinking earlier offline. It's like, we're all about a half decade apart, Jen, you're 3440 Pamela's 44. Like, and I can look back at my early 30s and go, Oh, wow. Yep, that definitely defined the things that I do now at 40. Like the whole mental health thing. That was my early 30s. I mean, I do that now. Because I had to work through it then. And so I just think, man, what an interesting.

: 12:31

Oh, I totally agree. Very interesting time. And even though my story is unique, and probably not very similar to most other women that I meet feelings, and the emotions and everything I went through is no different than somebody may be going through their experience in divorce or, you know, having children and separating and doing it's, you know, it's we're all very similar in that way. And I came to that realization, just talking to people. And I mean, now I'm so grateful. And you can relate where mental health is spoken about so freely now. And it's refreshing. Back then it wasn't. So I don't even know, do people talk about it? I didn't. I didn't know anyone that talked about it, then I wish they did. Because boys, I could have used a lot of the resources that are out there right now at that time. So anyway, we can get on that whole mental health. Yeah, but definitely early 30s definitely shaped me. There's all those experiences, from the left to, you know, getting married really young, to going to Kuwait, to divorcing to move into Canada and starting a brick and mortar, to then selling all of that closing everything down. Moving back to the Middle East. With an unknown, I didn't know what I was going to do. I didn't know how long I was gonna stay there. I didn't know. I just did not know. I said, I'm gonna go and see where, where life brings me. And lo and behold, I was destined, I was destined to be the military spouse and to be here and to share my experiences. And I think it's, it was a blessing for me to be the spouse on the other side, and then be able to talk to women about that experience. A lot of military spouses I felt didn't kind of know that side. We know that they their spouse is over there, but I don't know there's do we know their stories do we know? The feelings and the emotions and that side of mental health? They're going through things too. It's a totally different but so anyway, I feel like maybe there's a purpose there somewhere. There's little cracks here and there. And I don't know. That's why I love what I do right now so much is being supportive of all women, and all experiences and all religions. And yeah, I just feel very blessed to have experienced All the things,

Jen Amos: 15:01

I love it, you know, hearing your story, Pamela, it really inspires me. And, you know, I kind of mentioned this a little bit offline, that I had this crazy revelation when I turned 34, that was like, Oh my gosh, like, my best years are still ahead of me. And you know, here you are in your mid 40s, having lived so many different lifetimes, and you have a big smile on your face. And you're in this place where you're all about, you know, like advocating for women worldwide. And, you know, in you sharing your story as a military spouse today, you are, you know, one of many spouses in our community who really have that courage to humanize the military family experience, like letting our you know, fellow civilians know that it's not just a service member that's going to war, it's the family and the family may not physically be going but mentally, emotionally, you know, they are. And I think it makes very much sense. You know, why? You know, and we'll get to your nonprofit later, you know, why you created women who do wonders International, because when I think about the military community, we're pretty diverse, you know, we have people from all walks of life, you know, foreign spouses, like my mom was a foreign spouse, like just all these different experiences. It's like, it only makes sense. I think it seemed like a natural organic progression for you to get to this. And so we'll we'll touch a little bit on that later. But before we do, I think it's very interesting that having come from Canada, and now being a military spouse, and, you know, noticing the differences between the Canadian military and the American military, and I know that you didn't serve I know your brother did. So I'm curious to know a little bit about what you have found to see the difference in the Canadian military versus the American military.

: 16:41

Absolutely. Yeah. So I have a lot of friends who are spouses, Canadian military spouses, even living in Canada, like you said, my brother serves still serves. And but I feel like, well, one bases are so spread apart. It's almost like, you know, maybe one, maybe two per province that you know, but they're so spread apart. And the camaraderie is just different. You know, even when I talk to the spouses, Canadian spouses that I know today, a lot of them want to be involved in a lot of the groups here, because they don't really have that. In Canada. Yeah, it's really sad. And so yeah, I actually invite a lot of the Canadian spouses that I'm friends with from Canada to be a part of a lot of the things that I do virtually. Or if there's anything that would be a benefit. I share them, I share them out and let them be, but it is, I don't know why. You they say we're very nice people. Yeah. But I find the camaraderie between the militaries a lot different. A lot different. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I

Jen Amos: 17:44

think I think that's, like, very interesting. I wonder if the niceness that Canadians aren't known for is very much like the southern hospitality that we experienced that gentleman and I experienced in Virginia, where it's kind of like, on the surface, like everyone's nice, but maybe behind the scenes are really not or maybe it's just a facade, although I gotta tell you genuine like, I'm, like, constantly blown away by how nice people are to me out here compared to California. I've only had like one person who was like, who seemed like, rude to me when I brought this up. And they're like, wait a minute, like, What do you mean? Like Virginia is like, nicer? Like, where's the nice people in Virginia? Like someone like literally, like said that to me? I kid you not. This is like, totally, like, a whole other conversation. But I need to finish it now that I brought it up. And I was like, Okay, well, let me correct myself. You know, I think Virginia has, I'm not saying that, like, not everyone. Virginia is like, super nice. I'm just saying they're nicer than the people I've met in California. So that's what that's what I'm saying in defense to the southern hospitality that we experienced here in Virginia. I know, it totally went off topic. But I'm curious if you had any thoughts about that genuine.

: 18:52

Interestingly enough, I was wondering the same thing. I was wondering if the nicety that we as Americans perceive of Canadians is the thing that actually keeps community at bay, like Americans are traditionally known for being pretty brash. And I mean, we all have our like, colloquial things like Southern hospitality, but like, overall, when people think Americans they think like, pretty brash and outgoing and, and another word that came to mind as Pamela was sharing her story was like, Man, you came into this life with a lot of grit. Like, that's a lot of things you've already done before you entered into this life. And I just wonder if the community and camaraderie between military spouses here is because, one we're all coming from these areas where like, I mean, I was born and raised here in Virginia. So I come at any situation no matter where I go with that bent of southern hospitality, like your kids sick of bringing a casserole you know, and so they're because we're all like the mix. stuff in the country like it makes it very, you get to bring all those pieces together and see kind of what forms the community and it has been my experience that, you know, I mean, I have friends who were born and raised from all over and ever hospitality looks like to them to the table, and it creates a really tight. And I wonder if that's, you know, there isn't this, like faux persona of everybody's just going to be nice. Like you just have to show up with what you've got.

: 20:30

I don't know, maybe it's the theory of one entire province in Canada could be one city here in the United States. So I feel like, right, we're very spread out. Yeah. And I don't know, it's just always a small town field, I would say maybe excluding Vancouver and Toronto, which are our biggest cities. But I think the closer you are to the cities, that's where, you know, people are just on top of each other, you know, it can get aggravating. Yeah, yeah. And but out in the country, it's different. You know, we're just more hospitable. I don't know, I just, that's my theory. But yeah, well, I

: 21:07

mean, this base does make a difference. I mean, Jen and I are both here in the Hampton Roads area. And we have like, one of every, at least one of every branch of service base here. Like, yeah, you know, so we're all here, we're all you know, and then the community is already here, too. And it it's largely here in Hampton Roads, largely military base, there's so many contractors and so many, you know, defense industry that like there's a certain understanding of like, this is what we do, where I can imagine in, you know, a huge province where, you know, one base is way up here, and one base is way down here, you don't get that same kind of even outside the military community support, which inevitably, does make it harder to have community and a sense of belonging.

Jen Amos: 21:54

Great. Yeah. Either way, it sounds to me, what you're saying is that the American military culture is more community centric, but like, you're sure we're all discussing, maybe it has a lot to do with geography, you know, everyone being like, spaced out, but either way, I think it's very interesting to share that perspective. Because I think for me, I sort of had this assumption, and, you know, maybe it's Jamie Lynn's, just influence on me, and like all the people we've interviewed on the show, but like, it's like, it just seems like everyone wants to help each other. And I kind of assumed like all spouses, like, even around the world, I kind of imagined like, oh, maybe like spouses, like military spouses, and other countries are like, the same way. So anyway, very interesting to just, you know, kind of learn a little bit about the culture, you know, based on your experience, your perspective. And it's always kind of nice to know about that and learn about, like, people who come from, like, different places. I mean, you know, talking about like hospitality, I think about my family and my family. I mean, on the surface, my gosh, like, I'm not gonna get into my family. But I think what I'll just generally say is like, yeah, on the surface are really hospitable. But like, behind the scenes, they're very, like, skeptical, and like not trusting and, you know, just, it's really bad. But well as my family,

: 23:04

I'll tell you to, just to let you know, like when I moved to the United States, I moved in 2016. My husband was at JB MDL, in New Jersey, Joint Base sticks, Louis McGuire. And so we were there. And I feel so grateful that I landed in that base at that time, because I came to the United States not knowing a soul. And I had the best squadron that we were a part of, it was so welcoming. Everybody, just I made friends immediately. And I feel so grateful that I was there because that we've been to several other bases since and yes, I've always had great experiences and all of them, but nothing like New Jersey for some reason. That squadron was phenomenal. When you talk about camaraderie, it was just so welcoming, always doing things for families. And I just feel grateful that my first experience was at that base and for spouses that, you know, may not have that experience. I'm sorry that that happens. But I don't know. But the best thing for me was I put myself out there. And I was lucky because I had amazing women and other spouses around me that embraced me. But yeah, it was when we moved to Washington after that is kind of when I got more involved in trying to do things and that's when I started events for military spouses. But if not for maybe landing in that experience, maybe the trajectory would have been different. I don't know. But variants blossomed me because I was like, oh my god, this is a sisterhood.

: 24:37

This Yeah, no, I think you make a great point. It's fascinating because even though we'd been married, a handful years, most of those years were on shore duty and then in OCS and training so like, I wasn't really a part of the military spouse community, but the very first, like operational tour My husband did the CEO and XO and their spouses and families set the tone for that command of, we're here for each other, we're going to do things for each other, we're, you know, and all the things and that, for me has made the difference for the almost 15 years that I've been a spouse and I have talked to so many people, as I've moved around, that have never had an experience like that, and are so wary of a spouse group or making friends because they never had. And so it absolutely matters that like you were just welcomed and have that sense of community, because then it's propelled you to do the same for other people. And I think it's one of those like, you can't pour from an empty cup, and have you not had that welcoming experience, it would have been really hard to then move to, you know, JBLM and go, Well, let me just do this for everybody else, because you would have no basis for what it is everybody else was looking for and what they needed. And, you know, one of the other thoughts that came to me was, I wonder if we have a different sense of how to build community as American military spouses, because there's such an emphasis DoD wide on like volunteer service, I mean, everything we do, for the most part, as military spouses is a volunteer role. And it's like, if nobody's going to put into it, nobody's getting anything out of it. And so we, you know, we have this culture of, you know, volunteerism,

Unknown Speaker: 26:35

true. That's a whole conversation, and

: 26:38

I'm not making a judgment either way on that right now, I'm just suggesting that that might add to, you know, why American spouses, you know, have a bigger sense of community than, you know, some you've observed.

: 26:50

True. But yes, volunteering, I've that's one thing I picked up. Like, from the get go, I was like, everyone just volunteers their time. I was like, you know, how are these spouses going to get out there and, you know, contribute to their families if we have to volunteer for everything in any way we could get on another hole.

Unknown Speaker: 27:10

Listen to our episode with Jen Barnhill, we talked about that.

Jen Amos: 27:15

Yeah, I love hearing that you had such a good first impression to being a military spouse. And you know, fast forward to life today. It's interesting, because your life's about to take a turn again. You know, Matt is retiring within a year. Tell us a little bit about that. And just kind of like what, you know, tell us a little bit about, like, the stress of transitioning. I know, we talked a little bit about this, like offline, and, you know, what you sort of what you see yourself, or where you see yourself as a family, you know, in post military life?

: 27:48

Yeah, so we've had, the discussions are continuous, because, I mean, 10 months out. And I mean, we just purchased this house, the beginning of last year before we were stationed here in Pensacola, Florida, which I love very much, by the way, it is hot, but it is beautiful. And okay, so now we're talking, do we stay here, because now I'm now starting to plant my feet down as the entrepreneur, you know, and starting my magazine here locally, you know, starting to run events here locally, I just got Brian brought on as a consultant for a law firm here in the region, actually, to support with some of their veteran efforts. So in 10 months from now, after I've planted my feet and restarted all over again, do we stay here another year, and he commute for his next position, which he wants to fly then for the airlines? Or do we move to a bigger city, which I miss, because in a near bigger city, I'll have more opportunity for the work that I'm doing. And he's open. The great thing is Matt's open. And he's been talking to me and saying, Well, what do you think? Do you want to stay here and continue the efforts here in this area? Or do you want to go more, let's say down south, you know, closer to Tampa, or you know, where all the conferences are and where all the opportunities are. And now that you're getting into some sports things, you know, there's more opportunities down south. So we're in that, oh, my goodness, what are we going to do, which is not a bad thing? Because we have an option, but it's scary. Oh, yeah. It's scary. It's do I give up my beautiful home that we just, you know, put together do I transition all over again, because now, I started women who do wonders up in Washington State. We're when we were at JBLM. And then last year, the beginning of the year, we moved to San Antonio, Texas, because he had six months of training. I didn't want to be away from him. So we still we left Washington State early. And I went with him to San Antonio for his training. And then from there, we moved to Pensacola, Florida. And we actually it was supposed to be six months and ended up being seven months because my husband got COVID. So then we moved here to Pensacola started all over again. So it was, I have started over 20 times in the last year and a half, one that again in 10 months. So we're both in the transition. And it is, I'm not gonna lie, it is so stressful and so hard. But at the same time, I feel extremely blessed. I feel like oh, my goodness, we have the option. We're not tied down anywhere. My family is up in Canada, we are not going back to Canada, so we don't worry about going to die. And you know, his mom lives in Michigan, but she just moved there not long ago. He doesn't have real ties here. Because he was born in Texas and grew up in Germany. He's got his own story of his own. But I don't know, we just honestly, in this moment talking to you today, I still don't know what I'm going to do. But yeah, I feel blessed because I have the choice. And I'm blessed because Matt's allowing us to kind of have that discussion of okay, he's willing to stay and commute if I want to stay here for more time. And he's willing to pack up and move down, if that's the better choice. Because that'd be great for him. It'd be great for me. So yeah, that's where we're at right now. So it's, but yes, it is. I am in a stressful time.

Jen Amos: 31:35

Yeah, well, I hope that talking about it here sort of helps to just let it out, you know, just stressful right now, you know, like, I get my blessings, like, but the blessings and the stress can coexist, like both feelings are allowed to coexist. And yeah, it's very, very exciting, as well as very stressful, as you said. And I just think that fundamentally, none of us can ever, ever get used to like, change, you know, like, like, no matter how many moves deployments or you know, even just life changes, career changes, it's like, just the anticipation of change, like, no like that no one becomes a pro at that. I mean, I think you have, I think you get, you know, you have the tools and you built the grit for it. But I think just the emotional roller coaster around it. So I just want to say I feel for you. And we'll definitely be checking in on you upcoming months to see how, you know, you and Matt are doing

: 32:26

an average, just the both the change and the the holding both like, oh my gosh, this is a lot and also the blessing of the season. I feel like that is where the street families lived for the better part of probably six months to a year now. It's a both end of there is a lot of stress and worry and unknown. And there's also been an extraordinary amount of blessing. And the change no matter how many times you do it is never that easy. Like I want to be like we've moved so many times. And I've gone and done so many things. I mean, it's funny, I was in a job interview the other day, and the first question they asked me was, what is your greatest? What is your greatest career accomplishment? And I like half jokingly was like having one military smells like. I mean, funny, not funny. But like literally the fact that I've been able to keep a job for two and a half years is an accomplishment because I've done it all like except entrepreneurship. So scary for me. That's a whole different topic, but just that like, I can look back at my life and go change, change, change, change, and I'm still standing and also like every time it comes around, I'm like, I can do this again.

: 33:49

I think having a partner to that is extremely supportive makes a huge difference. I'm pretty lucky that Matt is very patient with all of my endeavors. He's very loving with all of my ideas, because I chose to leave my career cut. When I came to the United States. I was a medical esthetician. I've been doing that since I was I mean, I went to school for it when I was 19 years old. Um, so I did that in England living there before I went to the Middle East. I did that in the Middle East for the 10 years that I was there and transitioned a little bit when I went back to Canada but I was still in the field because I was creating skincare products. And then I just decided one day, I think I'm ready to hang up my lab coat, my little coat and my teaching coat and I'm ready to move on to something different. But yeah, it's entrepreneurship is my new said, you know, you just said entrepreneurship. That's a whole whole conversation to talk about that. And that can be very challenging, but it can be very rewarding. And for me, it has been very real rewarding, but having somebody that's standing next to you, whether it's your career or your entrepreneurship is so critical, and it's not for Matt's, you know, unwavering support, and, you know, even despite the eye rolls, and every time I tell him a new idea or whatever, you know, he's been extremely, extremely supportive. So, for those spouses out there that maybe don't have that lean on your friends. Yeah, because it's, it's a hard road entrepreneurships a hard road and you need that support. So lean on to your military spouse, friends that are on the same trajectory. But, you know, hopefully, everybody does have that support. But we know that doesn't happen in every household. But But lean on your friends, that's the best advice I can give on that note. So,

Jen Amos: 35:46

yes, and if you don't have any friends, now, you know, Pamela,

: 35:52

I always tell people, my front door, and my inbox are always open. Yeah, to get back to the question about starting women who do wonders in 2018. Yeah, I launched that it actually started, it was called Wellness and wisdom. And I'd started that at JBLM. Because I felt like, there wasn't anything. They weren't doing any events. I was never invited to them anyway. But I thought, man, like I need to create something that brings together not only spouses, because I invited the veteran women, the active duty women on base, all of the spouses, and I didn't know anybody when I moved to Washington State, but I visited every single business I could, I created a sponsor deck, which I didn't know how to do. I just Googled, how do you make one and, and then I just started knocking on doors. And then I went to the conference center, and I talked to the people at the conference center. And I said, I've never held a conference. I've never done events before. Although I lived in the Middle East, and when they have a dinner party, it is very extravagant. So I know how they do that. And so I thought, You know what, I'm going to run this, like I would run a big dinner party. And that's exactly what I did. And I had love it. Almost 200 women show up and I only knew two spouses there. Wow, wow. And I'm hassled and I posted and I shared it and I went to squat squadron commanders. And I asked them to please let their women go for the day. And I told them, this was what I was doing. And I had businesses coming to share their resources. And it was going to be great opportunities. I was given away tons of get, I wanted to be the Oprah of PLM. And I was given away the president and it was just, it was the most amazing day, and everyone just left happy. And that was it. We all ate, everyone laughed. We had a great time. Everyone left with a smile. And I was like, I think I got something here. I love this. I love how all of these women just walked out of here. happy as can be. They met tons of local businesses that they didn't know of beforehand. We had great speakers come in from Seattle. It was just perfect. And then the next year, I decided to do it again. And I had almost 500 women. Oh my gosh, it was amazing. I took out the whole conference center. I had childcare downstairs and I have my friend who was military police. She had the ladies from her squadron come in and be the childcare. Yes, I don't have event space experience, but I did it. And to be honest, I stood in front everybody terrified. Mostly I don't know, I didn't even plan on what I was gonna say I just put up there. And I spoke from my heart. And I had amazing speakers. I had an Olympian speaker, I gave away again, a ton of gifts. And everybody left happy. And I was like, Oh, this is yes, this is exactly what I want to do. And then of course, the next year when I wanted to go even bigger and spread my wings even further to the extent I was reaching out to Ramstein, put these on, and then COVID happen. So it's like, okay, great. And so I ended up doing a virtual event. And that was a success. And I reached out to a tech company, a virtual platform company and asked them to sponsor me, because I don't have the money to pay you all this money to run this virtual event. And I talked to the right person at the right time. And I had this you felt like you were walking into the space like it was really cool, like virtual space anyway. So that was a success too. Long story short, so big success on that. But it was after that and I said I don't want to lose the momentum. One, it became virtual. So I opened it up to not just spouses. I wanted women from around the world to be embraced in the same environment as our spouses and our active duty and our veterans. So that's that was a huge success. So right after that event is when I decided to launch the actual magazine, and then from there It's now women who do wonders the platform. So it's just evolving. It's just this big, rotating, evolving, amazing space and just blessed. But I'm getting it. So it could go anywhere. I can make it into anything, anything and everything that I want it to be. It can be. So

Jen Amos: 40:18

that's awesome. Yeah, I have to really just commend you for your entrepreneurial spirit, that kind of like, hey, let's see what happens kind of attitude.

Unknown Speaker: 40:29

What it's been, yeah.

Jen Amos: 40:31

And I feel like I really relate to it. Because, you know, I've been self employed for 12 years. And that's really been a lot of the attitude. It's like, let's see if this works. Or, you know, and I often say this to so many people, like, my philosophy in life is build as you go and build things, right? Not fast. I mean, if you're, if you have the resources to build fast, and that's great, but, you know, you know what it was that phrase, it's like, you know, how do you make God laugh, tell him your plans kind of thing. And so it's kind of like, well, if I just focus on building as I go, then, you know, he can't mess it up. And I was getting, but other than that, it's like, I just I really admire that spirit. And even though you gave us a, you know, like an overview of these conferences, I mean, that's a huge deal. The first conference, you had 200 people, the next conference, you had nearly 500 people. And then after that you had a virtual conference in which you had a sponsor for, you know, and then now you for my understanding, you have a membership platform. And you got to tell me, like, in addition to Matt, who was part of your support system, because that is, every, every year you continue to grow, I imagine that that opens other opportunities for other people to grow with you. It does,

: 41:39

and I've, the blessing is that every time I meet somebody, they introduced me to more people. And that's what you want to do. That's how you're gonna grow your network. And even when I did the virtual event, I was like, how am I going to make this a major success and have it global? So I just started, I was messaging just the back end. I was people I didn't know. I was just messaging, messaging, messaging and out of 50 knows, you might get those two amazing yeses. And I mean, I opened the conference with Camille Schrier, who was Miss America at that time, open with her iPad Lisboa Hannah and I had become friends with manda beard, who's a seventh time Olympian, she lived down the street for me and Gig Harbor in Washington. So I had her and then I had become friends with my good friend Ashley Huffman, who is now working in the sports and State Department. She introduced me to Jen Welter, Jen Walter introduced me to another person Jen Walters, the first female NFL coach. Then I had a Paralympian who was friends with another person that I knew. And before I knew it, I had this massive speaker lineup. And I didn't have to, I didn't pay anybody. They all came on, because they wanted to be there. They believed in what I was trying to do, and just empower women around the world. And after that, now I have these awesome connections, I've made friends, these amazing people, then that person introduced me to two more people, that person entered in, it's just been spiraling like that. And every time I interview somebody, it's because I've met them through somebody else. And then so last year, I'll tell you, after I launched women who do wonders, and then launch the foundation, I thought, How am I really going to take this to the next level? I need to get out there in front of big people. So how am I gonna get out there in front of big people? Well, I knew somebody that knew somebody. And I've managed to become a part of any event in Los Angeles, I was able to go to some of the pre Oscars and the pre Emmys events. So I put myself in front of producers and actors and all of these amazing people. And that's how I started sharing the magazine sharing the foundation. And since then, I've been able to spotlight a lot of the people I met there, they introduced me to other people, and it's been just spiraling like that. So you just got to put yourself out there. I didn't know anybody when I moved in. Not at all. So and I'm a military spouse just like you, though, if I can do it, anybody can do it. You know,

Jen Amos: 44:15

one thing I also want to mention is that in going international, you're able to amplify the military spouse story, you know, like, you're able to have so many different people learn about the military, family, military spouse experience, as well. And I just love that. I mean, do you have a mantra Pamela, like, is there like a, you know, for me, my mantra is, so far, so good. Like, that's my mantra. Like, I just do stuff, and I'm like, I look around and like, okay, so far, so good. That's my mantra. Do you have a mantra?

: 44:45

I don't have an actual mantra, but somebody asked me the other day, what is your word for the year? And the best word that I could come up with was determined. I am always determined. And I always wanted actually, I could say my mantra kind of is I want to be better tomorrow than it was today. And I owe that. And that's what I live by. So then we didn't really talk about my foundation, which I hope I can just mention a little bit. But my foundation is sort of that sister to women who do wonders. And that's called Mission Wonder Woman. And I use that platform to also uplift women who are really going through very hard times. So I go in and I speak with survivors of human trafficking, sex trafficking in particular. And I've been really lucky, because I can give them I've been able to give them, I create wellness boxes, so I filled them with all kinds of great stuff. For them skin, of course, I talked to them about their skin, it's important, and wellness and just total well being. But then I also give them other things and then speak to them about just total well being mental health, their bodies, just from my own experiences, too. And sometimes I know I say sometimes, but the last talk that I did, I actually had really great feedback, they just loved the rawness. They love that my story was not like theirs. But there were still a lot of struggles. And so they could relate. And they left empowered, because they felt like they could achieve something bigger than they did before they walked into that room that this morning. So anyway, so I just I feel blessed that I can, hopefully inspire one other spouse in this podcast. But I also am very blessed because I can inspire these other ladies to in their trauma. And yeah, so I just, you know, we all have a purpose. And I didn't know couple years ago, this was what it was, but I'm running with it because it makes me feel really good. I just

Jen Amos: 46:45

love your love for women. That's That's my comment. Genuine. Any thoughts?

: 46:50

Oh, same. Yeah, it will. It's funny that the Pamela touched on like, well, I just got here because I knew someone who introduced me to to be I mean, Pamela and I met because of AFI, M soy and one of our former guests, mandolin. McBay. Because they were stationed at JBLM. Together, it's just like, oh, my gosh, Jalen, you have to be Pamela like, and so you know, it just I'm constantly amazed at the wealth community brings our way.

: 47:22

Yeah. Oh, I agree. I agree. We have honestly, I think the most heart centered and I don't know what it is, maybe it's the military life that we're living in to. It opens your heart when we're relatable, because I know, my story is not the same as yours and yours, but in whoever's listening. But we know that we're living similar lives, in some capacity. We have a relation, in some way. Because I meet people all the time, I'll be out at an event and somebody will say, Oh, I'm a military spouse, and then automatically I feel like, oh, I have a sister here. You know, I don't know who she is. Never met her in my life. I don't know what branch she is. But she's a military spouse. So I'm gonna go stand next to her. You know, it's just this amazing sisterhood. I love it. Yeah, I just,

Jen Amos: 48:12

I have like, positive feelings and warm feelings and loving feelings all around. As we come to a close here, I know you have some exciting things coming your way. So give us a little hint to the things you want to tease to us right now.

: 48:27

Yeah, I had a couple of exciting things. And it's always amazing to share our wins. Never feel afraid to share those because one, it could push somebody else that's listening to just strive to go for the big things, right. So a couple things, super excited. And this came about because I knew somebody that knew somebody. And I asked the question I sent I actually picked up the phone and called somebody in that happens still founder and said, I would love to meet an interview. Mariel Hemingway, and guess what, two weeks ago, I was in a studio here in Florida. And I interviewed Mariel Hemingway about mental health. Because if you don't know her story, she's been through a lot of suicides in her family, its mental health is what she talks about every day. So that happened, that was actually absolutely extraordinary. So that interview is coming out. And she's actually going to be the first woman that I've ever had on the cover of my magazine. So I've never actually featured anybody because I always felt like there was no woman, you know, that should be better than anybody else in the magazine to be on the cover. But I made the decision to start actually spotlighting somebody on the cover that's doing things for the greater good in the world. And so that that's going to happen. So that happened. And then well, actually, I have a collaborative book that's coming out. So I've been wanting to do this for a long time. I was actually a part of a collaborative book last year. And then I finally said You know what, I'm just gonna do it. I share women's stories all the time in the magazine, I'm going to share this in a solid book. So that's going to launch soon, the actual having all of these ladies come on board. So that's coming out. It's, she does it, it's going to be incredible. So that happened. And then I guess the next big thing, and this is going to be out in a press release soon. But I have a tech company out of New York who has come on as one of my an investor with women who do wonders, and that tech is not what I do. Well, I will say, No one said, What do you not do? Well, Pam, Tech Tech is known, but I don't do well. I learned I'm a very fast learner, but I'm not good at doing the big things. So they've come on board to actually build up the platform and what I really want to do with it, because I sat back one day, and I was like, Okay, how can I really tell the stories of women? How can I make these women really be Wonder Women? Its visibility? Yeah, I didn't have the visibility. And if someone didn't give me the hand, give me their hand and say, let me help you, I'm gonna get to help you get visible, I wouldn't have reached where I needed to be. So I am hoping that women who do wonders will be done hand, and we're going to help these women become more visible. So this tech company is going to help me do that. So I'm really excited about that. So that's where I'm at today.

Jen Amos: 51:21

That sounds like a morbid comment. But just know it's a compliment. When I say this, I think there's going to be a lot of people that are going to show up for your funeral one day. Women that you you know how they say like, you know how you if you want to know what you want to do in life, just kind of envision, like, you know, who would show up at your funeral? What would people say about you, and just all the women you've been able to impact even in just the last handful of years alone, I'm just incredibly impressed. And obviously you love doing it. And I know that it, it's very fulfilling for you. And I just commend you. And I just appreciate you keep on keepin on, you know, thank

: 51:56

you. And that isn't really it's not morbid thing to say it's actually that's speaking how you want your legacy to be. Yeah, but out there. And you every we should all be thinking of that every day, we'll wake up and say, you know, what do I want my legacy to be? What do I want people to say about me and my kids and you know, whatever it is that you want, you know, out there to see you in a way that's positive. No one wants to be looked on? Negative. Yeah, and I get up every day. And really, I try to make an impact, at least in somebody's life every day. And maybe today, it's this podcast, so

Jen Amos: 52:34

well, you made an impact in my life. Pamela?

Unknown Speaker: 52:38

hearing your story, and I'm glad I'm glad I did.

Jen Amos: 52:40

Yeah, anyone that is more seasoned in life than I am who's just still kill it it you know, it's amazing.

: 52:46

And I'm not done. Oh, I will tell everybody to this is I feel like I'm just at the beginning. And it's like the fires just, it's a small flame right now. And there's a big flame that's gonna come. And I don't know what that is, because we're talking about going day by day. And maybe my trajectory will change a little bit in the next few months coming on with this new company. And who knows, it may take a whole U turn and goes in a completely different direction. And at this point in my life, I'm okay with that. If the way it's supposed to go, then that's the way it's supposed to go. Just Don't stress it. I have other things to stress about like PCs.

Jen Amos: 53:24

Yeah, and then throw transition on top of that, it's your life is going to be completely different. I would even say like a year from now. So we'll be in touch. Pamela, I feel like we covered so much about your life and the living legacy that you're actively building right now. And I just want to make sure that you've had an opportunity to you've had an opportunity to share everything you wanted to share on the show. So are there any final parting thoughts do you want to share with our listeners?

: 53:53

I mean, I touched on a lot, I think I just want to tell every could be women and men listening that you're capable of so much. And when I say that, I say that in every aspect. Because we didn't even talk about the athlete side of things. I became a whole athlete again, because I was an athlete, as a teenager, athlete again at the age of 4041. Love it, you can do anything you put your mind to. And I know that people say that all the time. And it's a you know, we hear it all the time. But I'm telling you, I lived a long time in while living in the Middle East in a bubble and thinking this is my life. I'm not you know, I'm not I wasn't doing anything about me. You know, I didn't go to the beach. I didn't do all a lot of the things 20 year olds did at that time. This was my life. This is and then when I got out of it, I started discovering, oh my goodness, I could do anything and I every year. It's like keep learning that I'm capable of doing so much more wasn't what I thought it was the year before. So anyway, I just, I tried to tell people all the time you are capable of anything, you just, if you don't know how to do it, ask, don't be afraid to ask. It's so important because I have asked for help. I can't even tell you how many occasions all send that email out and say, I have no idea how to do this. Do you think you can give me a few minutes of your time, and I can ask you some advice. And that advice has helped me tremendously. So anyway, that's my advice. Don't be afraid to ask know that you're capable of anything and just write that cold email. Right, that LinkedIn back message if you don't get a response, right, another one. It'll happen. Yeah.

Jen Amos: 55:44

Yeah, I love it. I love the grits. I love the tenacity. I love the you know, 50 noes to get two yeses kind of thing. I just love all of it. I'm here for all of it. Oh, I

: 55:53

just so appreciate you coming on today to share your story and remind all of us of the capability we hold within ourselves. And the impact of story like you reminded me once again. And like the reason that I write and do this podcast is because I'm constantly amazed at when I come at something from the angle of the life that I've led. There's actually a universal truth in there. And so thanks for that reminder today. I think you do that so well, for women everywhere.

: 56:29

Thank you. Thank you so much. That really touched me. Thank you so much

Jen Amos: 56:34

Virtual hugs all around. Pamela, let us know if people want to get a hold of you. How can they do that?

: 56:40

Well, my inbox is always open. Like I said, my friend doors open. So you can inbox me on any of the social media platforms in Instagram. I think it's Pamela underscore billaudot. My email is Pamela at women who do wonders.com. And you can go to women who do wonders.org on the website and see some of the things we're doing, although it may have some big changes coming up soon. So if it starts looking funny, it's because we're doing some work. We're doing major renovations, so anybody can reach out to me by email back end. I'm always checking my inboxes. So LinkedIn, I'm always on LinkedIn as well. So if you back in me on LinkedIn, I'll definitely get back to you.

Jen Amos: 57:23

Yeah, and also what I noticed on your website, women who do wonders.org forward slash founders, you're on clubhouse as well. And you know, I think when clubhouse I came out, I was like, like another social media platform. So I'm curious, like, do you do you use it? Like, do you actively use clubhouse? So last

: 57:38

year, I was on it quite a bit. That's actually how I met Molly. Wow, that's how I met. That's how I met Marcus Marcus, where I went to the concert the other day we were talking about before the show started wild. So we actually met in Molly's room. And then we discovered that we're both in the same city. So we went out for lunch, and then just realized that we're just awesome friends. And Molly has been an incredible support system as well. She's been awesome. Just it's introduced me to so many amazing friends. I haven't been as active on it in the last few months. But I pop in every once in a while. But you can just put yourself out there, whether it's clubhouse, whether it's LinkedIn, Twitter, they have all the rooms in there and Twitter. I don't know how active they are now with the truth, Twitter audio, but my God, I've met so many people. Yeah, just gotta put myself out there. You have to put yourself out there and whether it's audio wherever and in person events somewhere. If you don't put yourself out there, you're never going anywhere. So yeah, put yourself out there.

Jen Amos: 58:47

That reminds me of the phrase, if you don't ask the answer is always no. Yeah. And I just love it. I just love I love this entire conversation. I didn't mean to like what up you with a quote. So feel free to

: 59:00

read that too. But I want to say another thing about the no thing. Yes. When I do those cold calls, or I'll ask them buddy for a zoom. And this is an I just actually I get a response from somebody in Dubai that I've been wanting to reach out to that does huge things in Dubai. I sent them a message this morning, they actually just get back to me on this interview, and said absolutely. Let's get on a zoom call and have our chat. So every time I get on those conversations I started with, I'm just going to simply ask, and it's either a yes or no. And I've learned in my time if I don't ask, it's a yes or no. And I'm not afraid to get the No, but maybe you'll say yes. And that's how I start the conversation. And typically it will end up being Pamela I'm going to help you. I don't typically get the No. But if you started that way and just say look, I'm not oblivious to how life works. I'm going to straight up ask you for help. And it's either a yes or no. And that's it. Just be straight up. Thank

Jen Amos: 59:59

you for saying And the recording, I'm going to take note of that later. That is some good verbiage. Fabulous, amazing, amazing. I feel like

: 1:00:08

if you talk at somebody like that, and you're being upfront right from the beginning, so they're going to, you know what I mean? So you're not having a 30 minute conversation, and then at the end say, oh, I want to ask you for something. You know, you say it right from the beginning. It's such a pleasure to meet you. I've been wanting to ask you something. And I'm, and I know, in this lifetime, if you don't ask, things aren't going to happen. So it's either yes or no. And then you start off with the question, and then you get into your conversation, you get the scary thing out of the way from the beginning, and then you just go for it. We just got a

Jen Amos: 1:00:42

very, very wonderful sales lesson. Thank you, I will mail you your check. Donate to your nonprofit.

Unknown Speaker: 1:00:56

It's amazing. You'll appreciate that, too.

Jen Amos: 1:00:58

They appreciate salutely. Yeah, I mean, sales aside, like, I'm only I'm the only one referring to it as sales, but like, yeah, sales aside, it's like the transparency, how genuine you are in asking. Of course, people will be like, Yeah, you know, of course, I'm open to listening. Of course, I'm open to it, you know. And I think that there's something about like, the pandemic really, like shook up everyone. And I think, in my opinion, and I think it's made a lot of us more open minded to, like giving people a chance and saying yes, and, and all that stuff. So, Pamela, it's been such a pleasure having you on our show. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for letting us go over an hour. I know that we kind of went over time here. Not that, like we had like a hard stop. But still, I just always appreciate people's time and generosity to share their story, especially yours. All right. Well to our listeners. If you want to get a hold of Pamela we will have all of her contact information in the show notes. It's been such a pleasure having you today. Pamela, thank you again so much for joining us and to our listeners. We hope you enjoyed our conversation. And with that said we will chat with you in the next episode. Till next time