005: How to find, accept and sift through the right financial services and resources on military installations with Lacey Langford

Jen Amos 0:00

There's no need to wait on your service member to share secondhand information anymore. Welcome to holding down the fort, a podcast show where we put military spouses and children's needs front and center so that they can make informed decisions together as a family. Because let's face it, we know who's really holding down the fort. Let's get started

all right. Hi, everyone, Jenny Mo's here with holding down the fort. And I am really excited because I get to interview veteran military spouse and military money expert, Lacey Langford. Now before I have her jump in, let me tell you the amazing things about her. She is a founder of Laci langford.com, a Personal Finance Blog and boutique financial coaching practice, specializing in the unique world of the US military. Lacey is the founder and host of the military money show a podcast dedicated to helping us service members make, save and invest money wisely. She's a US Air Force veteran, military spouse, financial coach, speaker, writer, so many things, who changes people's lives, from being fearful of money to having control and confidence with it. So Lacey is an accredited financial counselor with over 10 years of experience in financial planning, counseling and coaching. Lacey, welcome to the

Speaker 1 1:31

show. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Jen Amos 1:35

I first want to just acknowledge how immersed you've been in the military community. I mean, you've been a military child, and then a veteran and a spouse. You've just been in it.

Speaker 1 1:46

Yes, I have a holistic view of the lifecycle of the military.

Jen Amos 1:50

Yeah, yeah. And so I think it's very fitting to have you on the show, because you know, not only are you an expert at what you do, but like we mentioned, you're heavily heavily involved in the community, you've lived and breathed and eaten it. And, yeah, and so you know, you you know it inside and out inside. I think it's just awesome to have you here today to talk to us.

Speaker 1 2:09

Well, I'm a huge fan of anything that supports military spouses and making their quality of life better. So that that was really the main factor.

Jen Amos 2:17

And we really appreciate that for people who, so let's go ahead and just dive into the questions for people who actually don't know you and want to learn more about you. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your day to day life? Maybe the the stuff that you love doing and things that excite you the most about your life today? Yes, I

Speaker 1 2:35

really love what I do, I definitely have a passion for money and the military community. So that is my normal day to day. I mean, It's summer now. So taking care of the kids is part of my day to day as well. And while they're out of school, but I do anything from coaching, doing one on one talking with people, I also do a lot of time volunteer work with veterans at doing mentorship for military spouses, and veterans. And I do a lot with my podcast. So I'm talking with guests, coming up with ideas that relate to the military community in ways to kind of help them make save or invest money wisely. And that's a major part. So I'm having these conversations with people about money. And that's fascinating. And I'm always wanting that information to get out there. And then I'm also writing and kind of doing work with the military community that way through my website, at least healing for.com and sharing answers to questions that people may have.

Jen Amos 3:32

You know, I love that you focus a lot on the topic of money. As a female myself, money wasn't always talked about in my household. My background is that I'm a gold star daughter. When we lost my dad, my mom really had to handle everything, finances, and all. And it was never a topic that was discussed until one day she was in debt. And she had to pay it off. And my siblings and I were already adult children, and she's asking us for money. And we're like, Well, what happened to you? What did you do with your money? And so for me, it's always been a very uncomfortable topic. And I know for a lot of women in general, it's a very uncomfortable topic. And so I love that you are owning it, and really empowering people to not be afraid of money.

Speaker 1 4:16

Yes, I definitely want people to feel approachable about money, especially in the military community, because I just think it's really important for various reasons, the situation that your family was in is a really great example of why people should be financially prepared. But there's also a lot of transitions that go along with the military that our civilian counterparts don't have. So you could Yes, people do move for their jobs, but in between a move, you know, your spouse could be deployed for a year and you can go into schools, there's TD wise that are involved with that. So I think having a firm grasp on the financial life that you want is really important and, and talking about it and understanding that people make mistakes with their money. People are always learning and growing. with their money, I think helps people to realize that you're not alone in trying to figure things out and understand. But there's also shouldn't be any fear with reaching out getting help figuring it out like this is the military community, I think has some great resources for that.

Jen Amos 5:15

Yeah, absolutely. And so for our show with holding down the floor, we want to be able to provide a space where we can provide resources and education on topics that military spouses and families don't normally get, or are not as easily accessible to them. And so for our topic today, I know that you wanted to talk about military spouses don't often get focused for stuff such as IRAs, or even stay at home military spouses, what do they do with their money? I'd like to talk about that. Before we get into that, though. I am curious, your opinion, why do you think people are afraid to talk about money, and then we could talk about spouses.

Speaker 1 5:52

You know, in all my coaching, I really do feel like it's a thread that people feel that there's judgement. And I learned early on that that was kind of a disclaimer, whenever I coach somebody, I kind of do like an orientation, where I explain kind of what I do and how I help people. But part of that explanation is to say that, hey, I'm not here to judge you about your money, that I wouldn't want you to do that with me and my money, because I'm sure there are some things that I spend my money on, that you don't value, you may make a bid or not worth your time. But that is something that I do. So I am definitely as a coach not going to judge somebody on it because you earned that money, you've worked hard for it, I didn't. So I shouldn't have a say in how you spend that. But what I do want people to do is to be smart about it. You know, if you have a ton of debt, yeah, you shouldn't be going to a brand new truck, you should, you know, maybe make some healthier decisions with your money. So I think that judgment, from peers judgment, from family judgment, from people that they don't even know, is impacting the way people are living their financial life. And that is definitely not the way it should be. Yeah, and

Jen Amos 7:01

I want to add upon that, because, you know, even for someone such as myself, who had struggled with debt, I think I inherited it from my mom, essentially. I mean, actually, almost literally did she maxed out one of my credit cards, in college. But I think that money really tells a story, you know, of what you had to do to survive, or you know, what, how you live your life, you know, you talk about some things that we spend, some things that we spend, the other person may not agree and how we spend our money. But really, I think the way we spend our money tells a story, you're really here telling people to not be ashamed of your story, like even if you were in debt, and then as you start to accumulate wealth to embrace that, that story. So I don't know if you see it that way. But that's kind of how I interpret it.

Speaker 1 7:43

Oh, definitely, like if you show me how you know, your bank statement, I can tell you what you value. But you make a really good point that your past plays a major part in the way that you manage money. You know, whoever it is, our parents are the person that's raising us and what I teach about how you can teach your children about money, that's the number one thing is they are going to watch what you do. So your behavior is so important. And I call it the backpack full of BS, but everybody's got one our past mistakes with money, times we've been done wrong situations where we've been embarrassed or uncomfortable. And we bring that backpack to whatever situation we're currently in, and also the relationships that we're in. So it really does, definitely there is a long story to tell with my

Jen Amos 8:29

Yeah, and they they do say that would number one reason why people divorce is because of finances. So it's a common story for so many people.

Speaker 1 8:38

If you were raised one way with money, and your spouse was raised a completely different way with money. That's difficult if somebody was raised to manage their money and save for the things that they want versus somebody that like normal for them was getting their power cut off. Or there being a lot of debt when they come together and start managing money, if they're not on point with their communication is definitely going to lead to some issues in the future.

Jen Amos 9:07

Yeah, absolutely. That reminds me a lot of my husband and I even though he's a he has a background in financial advising and stuff like that he is a big spender when it comes to growing our business. Where for me I other than the debt story, I grew up with values of preservation. So how much money can you save? How much can you use something until it's completely worn out and ridiculous that you're still using it and then that you finally have to buy something to replace it. And so when we got together, I learned very quickly, that our money, our money values were completely different. And you know, things that I know I could buy for $1 He'll spend an extra 10 $20 because supposedly, if it's more expensive, it's better quality and just these different philosophies, but I think I found the balance. I think I know when it's okay to invest in something that I could tell was good quality and worth paying for. But at the same time, you know, I'm still going to look for the bargains if I want to.

: 10:07

Oh, yeah. And that's to like, knowing yourself truths about money that you know who you are and to say, Hey, I do spend a little bit more, or, Hey, I'm super frugal. And knowing that about yourself can really help the way you move forward in life and definitely in relationships, to say to be upfront to be like, Hey, I'm super frugal. So when you're blowing money like that, that's making me uncomfortable. Yeah. So communication, though. Totally key.

Jen Amos: 10:32

Yeah, that's a Daliah daily effort for me.

: 10:38

thing it is that we for everybody is that way, with my husband, there's some things that he values, spending money on that. I don't know if I want to get like a really cute purse that is in my budget and on sale or whatever. He's like, why would you spend money on that? Everybody value something different that they want to spend? Not only their money, but also their time on?

Jen Amos: 11:00

Yeah, I like the time aspect as well, because like, for example, we just got he just got a rental car today for us to drive back to Virginia. We're in Ohio right now. And we're gonna drive back to Virginia. But I know that had he reserved that rental car a couple of days ago would have been a lot cheaper than he's paying for. But in his mindset, it's like I'm willing to pay for convenience when I need it. So it's just kind of like, you know, is the time what's more important the time that I could have planned ahead or just buying something when I need it. Anyway, we could talk about, you know, different money values, like all day, I'm sure. Yes. Yeah. Yes, yes, you can. Yes, you can't you do have a podcast and everything. Let's go ahead and dive into the topic today, which is personal finance for military spouses. And my first question for you Lacey is Do you feel like there's enough knowledge out there for military spouses and families to handle their finances?

: 11:55

I do. The problem with it, though, is people finding it and accepting it. And what I mean by that is that it is definitely there, I have just a ton of free resources for people that they can use not only on installation, but off installation or online to help them with their finances. But a lot of times, especially military spouses, they're just not aware of it. I say it all the time is just it's so true, though a lot of it can be found, if everybody just went to the installation tour, when you first get to your installation, they give a base or a post tour. And they are all these financial services are on installation, the lending closet where you can, you know, save money by borrowing things, instead of going and buying like an air mattress because your household goods haven't arrived. Or, like when we lived at Fort Campbell, they have a place where you can rent a wedding dress, or you can rent formal dress wear for, you know, the formals the parties, and also where they just have stuff you could pick up for free. I remember when we lived there, Bed Bath and Beyond Green Mountain Coffee was redoing all of their branding on their packages. And they donated all of that to this place on Fort Campbell. So you could just go in and get Keurig have coffee. So there's these resources, but finding that you know, getting that information. And if you're not going on installation, or in the email chain, or born into Facebook groups, for the most mouse groups for your post surveys, it's gonna be hard. But then the other part that people like me are trying to combat is misinformation, that this stuff isn't valuable. So you get somebody that maybe had a bad experience or possibly had a bad attitude, or it could have been their current situation. And let's say they went to receive help on posts for their money. Then they go and tell people Oh, don't go there. It's not worth your time. When most installations, they offer classes to teach you how to buy a car, they offer you classes to teach you buy a home or major purchases. They offer classes to help you do a budget, or you have the opportunity to sit down with a financial counselor and they'll actually create a budget for you and give you tips. They'll also talk to you as a military spouse about your spouse's tsp or the options for them to save for retirement. So you can learn because that's going to impact your financial future as well, if they're saving for their retirement properly. So it's there, but it's combat in this getting out and getting it but also the misinformation.

Jen Amos: 14:27

I mean, do you think there's any other reason why they just don't maybe take the initiative to seek it out? You know, I was I was really young at the time, but I didn't know that you could do military installation tours. So that was that's a new thing for me to know.

: 14:41

Yes, because a lot of times I volunteer or have done coaching and counseling on installations. And when a problem comes in to say, Oh, we spent like $300 or we went to rent a center, which is not a good idea to rent furniture until we got our household goods. I'm like, Why didn't you go to the London closet? You And then like, well, we didn't know there was a lending closet. And so Okay, well, you know, or we were having this emergency and I didn't have anybody to take care of my child. So I had to, like pay this crazy place. Well, they had hourly care on installation. Why didn't you go there, because they didn't know that that was a service for your children. So there's all these little things that help you in the long term with your finances and that installation tour, they're going to point out everything on base or post that is there to help you, it's a resource for you. So getting out there to say, Oh, hey, your spouse can do this and point everything out. So it's definitely worth the time.

Jen Amos: 15:36

Yeah, I had, I mean, I feel like I had our family knowing that because when it comes to building your wealth, it's not just about what you're saving, but it's about what you're not spending. And if you don't know what your resources are, then you end up spending, and that just affects your finances. So. So that's really good to know. And I think very often people think that the military isn't providing enough, but from what I'm hearing from you, you're essentially saying that they provided enough, you just have to seek it out, right.

: 16:07

And part of the reason why people aren't going out is that when you're young, so that might not be your focus just yet you haven't, the sense of urgency hasn't been created yet for you to, you know, have that fire under you to be like, I gotta figure this out. Or going back to that judgment, people worried that I'm gonna go here and somebody, you know, if I go, and I tell this person that we have $50,000 worth of debt, they're gonna think badly of us, or we're gonna be in trouble for that, when definitely that is not the case. You know, first of all, we've usually only see worse. So they're, you know, for you to come in and say you have 50,000 Well, I've met people that have $300,000 worth of debt, and they're in the service. So your perspective might be different, like, I'll have people come in, they're very upset that they have $2,000 worth of debt, when there's a lot of people that might kill to have to only $2,000 with a debt. Right. So it's really your perspective. But I think also, too, that talking with somebody about your money is a trusted relationship. It's like going to the doctor. It seeps into every aspect of your life. So when somebody comes to talk to me about money, a lot of times we're talking about marital problems, we're talking about family problems, something that's embarrassing, everybody's at a different stage. And so if you're not comfortable with that person you're talking to you, then that's a problem. But there are so many financial people on installation that are there for free to help you, you can go to the next person, if this person doesn't work for you go to the next one. So there are financial counselors that are GS employees that work at the financial like the Navy, Marine Corps Relief Society or financial readiness, Airmen services, they have people there that can help you. But in addition to that, they have personal financial counselors that are often embedded within organizations. So they might be in your unit that you can talk to that person. And that person has the ability to meet you off base or off post Naira, so nobody even knows you're talking to them. And then if those none of those work, Military OneSource, will hook you up with a free financial counselor that will come and meet you at a public place. So there's even more than that, if there's a serious emergency, you can reach out to the American Red Cross. But there are definitely resources for people to get help. But it's just if one doesn't work, you just don't give up and fold like a lawn chair. You got to you know, keep putting yourself out there.

Jen Amos: 18:26

Right, right. And when we're talking about something that a lot of us considered a sensitive topic, it's, and we go out there the first time and we feel maybe rejected or ashamed. We don't want to come out again, like Okay, nevermind. And so Lacey, for people that are listening to this, and maybe they're in that position, what do you want to tell them for them to take that step, and even if they've already taken that step to keep taking those steps to find the best resources for them?

: 18:53

Yes, definitely don't give up that you're going to find the right person. There's people out there like me that aren't going to have any judgment and truly want to help you with your money. There are just like anywhere, there's some bad apples, but it's worth it to you. It's worth your quality of life and your financial future, to get the help that you want. And so you may go talk to somebody and you're at the stage in your life where you're in debt, we'll go talk to somebody about getting out of debt. But once you've accomplished that goal, then go back. Now I need to know how to save for my retirement, I need to know how to save for my child's education, you keep going back and also to you could do a lot of research online to get that information. But there's going to need to be some output on your part to get that so you just kind of have to keep going after it and being proactive instead of reactive to money because life is going to happen. It's not a question of if it's when and how much money it's going to cost you. And so you really want to be prepared have a financial fallback position, and we have a ton of debt or not a firm understanding of your own financial life, then that's when Things get into crisis. Instead, you want to, you want to leave yourself room to pivot to say, okay, hey, oh crap, we got like this thing from the IRS or we are PCs. And so now we're going to lose that second income, you want to have that room to move around.

Jen Amos: 20:13

Yeah, I love that you say that? Well, one thing we discovered through the Blue Star family survey is that a lot of military families, right, when they're about to transition out, maybe three to six months before they transition out, they have less than $5,000 in their bank account. And so it's no wonder that a lot of them freak out.

: 20:34

And, and looking at people such as yourself, as professionals, we're not going to judge you like you're a professional for a reason. You can look at this objectively and give the right financial advice for families.

: 20:45

Yes, yes. And it is family. It's a military community, like everybody, I'd like to think I guess it's kind of naive on my part, but we're all here like this is we want to help our own. And we don't want somebody to be uncomfortable with money or not reaching the goals that they want or having the quality of life they want. So it is really important. And if you do come across somebody that's not helpful to you, one, you should be doing the eye survey and making sure that installation knows that what that person did and that they weren't helpful, or they weren't judgmental, whatever it was, but take their opinion with a grain of salt, like and keep moving forward. You can't let people drag you down or hold you back.

Jen Amos: 21:25

Yeah, absolutely. We can, we could probably have a whole conversation about not letting what people think of you affect your life or affect your decisions. But I think we had a shared a lot of resources today. Lacey, I really want to thank you so much for your time and and all the knowledge you shared. Do you have any closing thoughts before we get into how people can get a hold of you?

: 21:46

I just want people to really think about what they want for their financial future. And then start taking the steps to make it happen. Because it is a possibility when you start working on it. But if you keep thinking about it and not taking action, and that's when your goals or dreams will become a reality.

Jen Amos: 22:03

And I think that's a good lesson for everything in life. Don't procrastinate. If you want something, you can work on it little by little every day and not push it off because it will accumulate and then before you know it, you're in this crisis state and it's not a it's not a good place to be in.

Unknown Speaker: 22:19

Yes, for sure. Awesome.

Jen Amos: 22:22

Well, Lacey, I appreciate you so much for your time, in case anyone wants to get a hold of you. How can they get a hold of you?

: 22:29

My website, Lacey langford.com is a great place to check me out. Reach out to me It's Lacey with an E or on Twitter. You can tweet me at finance Lacey or on Instagram, Lacey Langford. So please reach out if you especially if you have a question about money.

Jen Amos: 22:45

Yes, yes. Especially if you're afraid of it or anything, anything money related. Definitely talk to Lacey. And if you didn't get that the first time, it'll be in the show notes. So don't worry if you didn't know how to spell that in there. Awesome. Well, Lacey, thank you so much for your time, and I look forward to continue following you on social media and LinkedIn and everything and we'll chat soon.

Unknown Speaker: 23:08

Thank you so much for having me.

Jen Amos: 23:11

Thank you so much for listening to the holding down the fort podcast show. To leave us a message. Please visit our show notes to learn how or you can email us at holding down the fort podcast@gmail.com Until next time,